In some circles I’m considered an expert. Which is frightening.

Yesterday, my boss came into my office and started asking me about Social Media. Which he’s NEVER done. Convinced I’m totally busted, I’m waiting for “Mommypie” to trip off his tongue any second. He’s been known to snoop on employee’s computers and truth be told, I’m not always the stealthiest. Like the folder titled BLOG. Seriously, it’s just a matter of time.

I steadied myself while the Blog Hog in my head chanted Dooced! Dooced! Dooced! Dooced!

Thankfully, BH was wrong. Conservaboss actually wanted some insight for an upcoming conference, which, pretty much meant the kiss of death for me. Mention anything I’m passionate about and I literally cannot. Shut. Up.

I blabbed about blogging. I even suggested we add a President’s Blog to our web site. He could write it, and I’d set it up for him. I blabbed about Facebook and LinkedIn and Twitter. Dear God, I blabbed about Twitter. I even walked him through setting up an account. I showed him how he could follow his guy, McCain.

I momentarily lost my freakin’ mind.

The result of which was me agreeing to give an HOUR LONG PRESENTATION at aforementioned conference. In two weeks. Me. The one who loathes public speaking of any sort.

End result? Not only did I commit the cardinal sin of farking with the blog/work balance by introducing my BOSS to my sacred, secret realm … I must now educate a legion of internet-challenged businessmen and women about the awesomeness of my After 5 World. And yes, by After 5 World, I most certainly DID mean the tuxedo rental place, thanks.

This blows goats.

My only saving grace? I managed to actually keep my mouth shut about MY blog and MY Twitter account. Sometimes the Blog Hog comes through.


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30 responses to “In some circles I’m considered an expert. Which is frightening.

  1. Rick's Cafe

    Ahhhh, the Zen punishment for defacing Conservaboss’s auto.

  2. Rick's Cafe

    ps. Good Luck….you’ll do just fine!

  3. Doog. You’re totally right. (And thanks!)

  4. You’re going to give an awesome presentation, and then your Conservaboss and the others are going to get all bloggy and…oh, I see what you mean when you say this blows. (Can it blow moose, though, instead of goats? I sorta cringed at that, being the Goat Mama and all.)
    Perhaps the damage is indeed minimal. After all, probably not a one of these people is going to be searching blogs for Moms or Pies or Dooce, right?

  5. Bwahaha! Sorry ’bout the goat fellatio.

  6. Yes but now you can say all your blogging has really been for work purposes – you are incorporating all that knowledge into your job, like it was your plan all along. Genius. 🙂

  7. Perhaps you should change the name of that folder on your desktop to Very Important Work Stuff.

  8. This happened to me yesterday too (in a client meeting).

    I agreed to set up a Chef’s Blog on the guy’s website. But unlike you, I don’t know how to do that.

    I just write the blog. Anything else that involves smarts or knowing stuff, I’m out.

    And you’ll be great! Of course.

    And finally: agreeing with All Adither over here.

  9. Aren’t you so glad that you had the foresight to set up twitter and your blog using “mommypie” instead of anything close to resembling your real name?

    I worry about similar things happening to me, except I work for such a large company that they already have people to address the Social Media issue. Good luck!

  10. Wow that sucks and is exciting at the same time! You will do great, of course. I HATE public speaking also. Terrifies me. I can talk to a small group just fine, but once I’m up there in front of, say, 10 or more people, I’m so screwed.

    Also, my oldest daughter told her teacher about my blog and I FREAKED. I had to go back and make sure I didn’t say anything bad about the school or teacher. But then she told me that she didn’t give the teacher the web address, so I guess I’m safe for now.

    Good Luck!

  11. another co-worker

    Just sittin’ in my office. Laughing at you.

  12. AHAHAHAHAHAHA. I got you to say “blows goats” on your blog. HAHAHA
    Welcome to club of having a secret realm that your boss unexpectedly knows about. Which, I totally hope he doesn’t.

  13. Bwah hah hah hah hah! I had a similar experience at work recently. It seems my “walls” are not so soundproof afterall! In my case the outcome is pretty innocuous– I just don’t see a buncha greyhaired docs flocking to Twitter. Do you???

    You’ll be the heroine; trust me. MP rocks!

  14. DOOOD…Sorry. Oh and I do the same thing.

  15. Okay. I get that blogging and tweeting is so exciting that it makes you want to piddle on the floor like a little puppy when anyone asks you about it*, but doog. DOOG!! Your boss??

    *This is how I feel about it anyway. I might be projecting.

  16. Congrats and deep breath! I just was asked to speak at a local luncheon, which would be my first public speaking arrangement as well.

    Yeah, I’m feeling about as scared as you, and I’m thinking there will be less than 20 people there, so really, YOURE WAY MORE SCREWED THAN ME!

  17. i get like that whenever someone utters the words “Rush” or “soccer”…

  18. Mo

    I came into work one Monday not long ago and my boss said, “So, the blue paint didn’t work out in the bathroom?” I froze. Turns out another co-worker had my blog up, he saw it and is now a regular reader. So much for yammering on about my job on there now. It freaks me out, but if he wants to read about my renovations, what makes me cranky, arguments with my husband and my boobs, well, he gets what he deserves!

  19. mommablogsalot — I like the way you think, Momma.

    All Adither & SDM — I’m changing it as I speak. Er, type.

    twithhoney — TOTALLY why I didn’t use my real name. OR give reference to where I live. Paranoia has turned out to be my friend.

    Monkeytoemomma — Oh yeah. I totally would’ve freaked too. The whole double life thing is hard work!

    Another co-worker — YOU can suck it.

    Queen Bee — Saved it for a rainy day, I did.

    bikerchick, KD and Steph — Good to know I’m not the only one who can’t control herself.

    pisceshanna — Thanks for the words of ENCOURAGEMENT Doog. Ha! Can’t wait to read about YOUR funfest.

    MOFM — You and your Rush. And your balls. Fanatic, I tell you!

    Mo — You forgot to leave your address. The fear’s SPREADING!

  20. You were better than me then — I blabbed about it but haven’t been asked for my blog yet!

  21. Thank God for Blog Hog. ‘Cause that could’ve been ugly.

    I do not actually tell anyone in my real personal life about my blog because, what if I want to talk sh*t about them online? I would feel like I couldn’t. Although some people have found it on their own and I have to change names and places in order to protect…myself.

    You’ll give an awesome speech. You could premptively set up fake twitter and blog accounts so that if anyone asks to see your blog/twitters, you have something that you can show people.

    Good luck!

  22. You will be fantastic. I have somehow gotten myself into the project of building a blog for a program at work, in tandem with teaching a coworker how to build one for her program — which I somehow hope will still keep them all from locating my personal one… 🙂

  23. I’ve nearly done that one myself. The public speaking part? You barely need to prepare. You can just talk about what you do with us doogs all the time. Now I’m curious how many coworkers know about your secret life…

  24. another co-worker

    Dude, if you keep telling me to suck it like that, I’m gonna stop liking you.

  25. I work at an interactive ad agency – and kept my blog on the down low. But then I let the cat out of the bag. Now, one year later, I’m THE social media/ blogging expert.

    Seriously. It’s amazing. EVERY business needs a blog and must have a blog. Awesome! I think you definitely made a smart move, whether you know it or not.

  26. I too think it is great. I was wondering how you ended up opening an account for him. Just think – they very well make you the social media expert. Seriously. then your blog can be part of work – well not really but you could work on it without fear of being Dooced!

  27. Oh but will you be able to maintain your silence. If you are like me, all will spill eventually.

  28. ACK! Just keep your username on the DL!

    Ugh – I hate being educated via litigation …. because I’m uber paranoid about using a work computer for ANYTHING because I know that any time a business gets sued, SOMEBODY is going to see everything!

  29. “Sorry ’bout the goat fellatio.”

    I say that all the time.

  30. OMG – that is friggin’ scary! What is this, a Halloween horror story for us all?

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