Remedial Life Skills

Another day, another tag, and STILL I have no idea what “meme” means …

Restless Housewife tagged me with a Five Classes I Wish They Would’ve Taught in School meme, so without further ado, here are a few I probably should have taken.

All About Tires
By far, the sexiest of all five courses. Topics covered include how to change a flat in a muddy field; all about all-weather; and the importance of rotation. I have spent stupid amounts of money on these three things since learning to drive.

Boobage 101: Droop and Bob
Underwire. It’s a good thing. Had I known this earlier in life, I may have stood a fighting chance against gravity. *sob*

Boobage 102: Me and My Little Squirt
Breastfeeding does in fact, not come naturally. There’s leaking and latching and and chapping and pumping … and with the occasional glass of wine, dumping. Even freezing. Who knew?

Job Hunting for The New Graduate
How to interview without looking like a dill weed … like I did back in ’92, rockin’ the red Talbots blazer and ill-fitting pleated skirt. The horror.

Intricacies of Ordering in a 5-Star Restaurant
Sweetbread. Neither sweet, nor bread.

Discuss.

If you’re a bit unsure what this tasty sounding treat actually IS, I highly recommend a little research BEFORE ordering in a restaurant. Not that I ever blindly ordered the thing.

And now, I’m passing the torch … Here’s who’s been tagged so far.

Restless Housewife | Bad Mom | Wifey’s House | Crunchy Carpets | Redhead in Vegas | Donna Reed in Blue Jeans | Angel’s Mind

I’m adding just a couple people to the list – Deb at San Diego Momma, because I know she’ll participate; THAT Mom at We Are THAT Family; and McMommy at The McMommy Chronicles, a great blog I just found.

Go forth and conquer.

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16 Comments

Filed under Bits and Pieces

16 responses to “Remedial Life Skills

  1. I love your cow illustration, which is extremely informative. It seems like, should you ever decide you need an at-home kind of job, you could write a nice little guidebook to life complete with excellent illustrations and conversation starters. Then you could take the show on the road and teach one-day crash courses to people on how to be more successful in daily life. Sure, all moms COULD do this in the sense that we pick up the requisite knowledge along the way, but NOT everyone has the excellent “A cow is not bread” diagrams. Just a “helpful” thought to start your day…

  2. You like? I call this piece, “Sweet Bessie.”

    Thanks MT ;)

  3. another co-worker

    I think I would have liked a class about “Why we should moisturize”. Could have saved me a few wrinkles. BTW, I still have that Talbots blazer hanging in my closet.

  4. I love your classes and if you are willing to teach them, I’ll enroll.

    I will also start thinking about classes . . . hmmm-there are so many things!

  5. Another Co-worker – Hanging in your closet … rrrriiight. Didn’t I see you in that yesterday?

    THAT Fam – Can’t wait to see yours – put me on the waiting list!

  6. Deb

    I did the sweetbread thing with head cheese.
    Which is more head than cheese. In fact, there is no cheese.
    But there’s cow.

    Please sign my petition to outlaw head cheese.

  7. Consider it SIGNED. Gag … er, I mean tag … you’re it!

  8. another co-worker

    Whatever dude. We wear the same outfit to work at least once a week, so right back at ya!

  9. Sadly, actually not sadly, I did not have that Talbots blazer, BUT I did wear my ever-so-beautiful clear jellies to work at a former job.
    P.S. I love your cow. period.

  10. I love a meme! (…just don’t ask me to properly pronounce it because I have no idea.)

    I’ll get working on my classes tonight.

  11. Coincidentally, I am wearing my electric blue wool Talbots blazer RIGHT. NOW. So not kidding.

  12. Oh, Foolery … my apologies …
    ;)

  13. OMG, I want the boob course, with attention paid to how to buy the right fitting bra b/c ever since Oprah said something like 80% of us don’t have one that fits, I’ve been obsessed. Not obsessed enough to go buy another one, but still. Thanks for the tip on sweetbread. Who could have possibly known that? I love bread and sweets, so I would have gotten that.

  14. Ok….it only took me five years to finish it…but I did it! Take a peek when you get a chance…

  15. Meg

    You know whose boobs look great? Goldie Hawn. I think she works the upper chest/clavicle area with push-ups or some such thing. I hate her. When my next relative kicks the bucket, I am so having those babies lifted with the inheritance money. And to think that I’m feminist–it’s so saadd.

  16. Pingback: San Diego Momma » Blog Archive » Five Classes I Wish They’d Taught In School

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