Pieces of the Pie

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Who I Am
One piece full-time entrepreneur and founder of the online social swap community, Swap Mamas; one piece happily single woman; one big gooey, sticky piece mom to a soulful and precocious kindergartner, who, somewhere along the way dubbed me MommyPie. This is a chronicle of her days, my days, and our life together.

How We Came To Be
Before MP, I worked for a large magazine publishing company. Occasionally, I flew to New York to do the corporate thing. I loved it. I went out every weekend. I dressed all in black. I danced and drank and lived a completely different life.

I had my Mr. Big. He was handsome, powerful and well-respected. He even appeared regularly in the press. Things were amazing. He was the love of my life. Eventually, I became pregnant. I was ecstatic. He was scared. After nearly 10 years together, we split during the first trimester, amidst much hurt and deception. We never did marry.

It’s been just the two of us, MP and me, ever since. When she was 18 months old, I got off the corporate track, packed our things, moved out of the city, out of the state, and headed back to the small hometown I left 13 years earlier. Things have slowed considerably these days, here in the mountains, and life couldn’t be better.

Unbelievable to most, MP’s father and I remained close friends until his untimely death when MP was just two. She does not remember her dad, but we have our photos, and I make sure to share wonderful stories as much as I can. We send balloons and cards to Heaven. We talk to him a lot.

Now, proud to be 41 (where did the time go?), I am thoroughly enjoying my single momness. For the time being, I’ve delayed any kind of dating life. I did try a few times — was even engaged for a short time — but quickly realized I have no idea how to do it with a child. But more importantly, I have no interest. And that’s okay.

I do, however, aspire to be a MILF when MP hits high school.

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39 responses to “Pieces of the Pie

  1. kimzyjm

    Hi, Nice to meet you. You can check out my blog at http://www.kimzyjm.wordpress.com

    We single moms have to stick together, and support each other as we raise our angels!

    Kim

  2. mommypie

    You’re so right! I’ll head on over to your blog – nice to meet you too!

  3. Go Mommy Pie! So glad you’ve joined WordPress. Yippee! Now everyone can read all of your beautiful posts!

  4. mommypie

    I’m already liking WordPress way better than Blogger – thanks for all your support MSM!

  5. belle1198

    MommyPie,

    You are definately an inspiration. I have been a single mom for 7 years. I was 20 years old when I got pregnant, still in college, and was not prepared for motherhood. I kept my baby though. It has been interesting and sometimes hard, but I wouldn’t trade my daughter in for anything. Even still, I have struggled through the years with my situation not being ideal…wondering if I would ever have the house on the hill with the picket white fence and if I would be living there alone and lonely. Just recently I have changed my whole perception of my situation and have decided not to judge my family situation based on what is considered a family. I love my daughter and she loves her mommy and I want to be proud of the love we share instead of having to feel ashamed. You’ve inspired me. Thank you!!!

  6. mommypie

    Thank you so much, belle, for your sweet comments. I know just how you feel – it’s hard growing up with the standard idea of a “normal” family, and then one day finding yourself in a situation you’re completely unprepared for. However, I’ve come to learn that if I’m able to look at the unexpected as simply a bump in the road, the outcome is usually … well, incredible. As single parents we have the amazing and unique opportunity to define solely what family means for us – doing it alone isn’t easy, but “ideal” is what we make it. You SHOULD be proud of yourself and your daughter and the bond you’ve created – single moms rock!

  7. I’ve commented a couple of times…

    I know it is hard being a single mother, as I am the product of one… And, about half the time I am one. My husband is in the Navy, so I have to go back and forth between ‘single’ parent and not-so-single parent often. The times when I am single, they aren’t easy. You don’t get a break, and for that I admire you. I enjoy reading your blog!

  8. I just wanted to say, I love your blog, and you crack me on a daily basis, because now you are one of the first sites I hit everyday before my real day starts! An aspiring MILF myself, I need to remember sometimes, that being a single mom, is the proudest badge I wear, and I don’t have to be ashamed to say, dad and I were never married….heck after looking at him these days, I am more ashamed to say I was “in love” with him at some point :) point is, I love reading your blog, and it helps me to keep mine upbeat, and cheery when I can.

    Thanks!

  9. Deb

    I’m so glad to have more slices of the pie!

    Thanks for sharing.

    And wow! We have a lot in common — the smooky stuff, the magazine pub career, and soon-to-be-40ness.

    Love your blog…BUT you know that! :)

    Deb

  10. Mary – thanks so much for your comments and for reading. The admiration is mutual – being a military wife with periods of time apart from your spouse has got to be tough.

    ana.biosis – as always, thanks for your ego-boosting words!

    Deb – my fellow ghost-busting momma – thanks for being my steadfast commenter!

  11. Yay for single mom bloggers! I added you to my puny page over at blogger, if that’s cool. Did you know its not cool to say “cool” anymore? Wow I must be getting old.

  12. Thanks Hanna! Of COURSE it’s cool you added me – I LOVE links! And apparently, I’m old AND uncool, because I still use the C word. (And ‘excellent’ and ‘awesome’ which I’m sure are just as dorky.)

  13. I also a fan of ending my paragraphs with “Word”.

  14. I love your blog, and without sounding too icky I find you really quite inspiring. I’m a single Mum too, and I don’t really want to date either but nobody else understands that.

    Oh…and your daughter is totally adorable.

  15. No shame in the ick! (And it’s not btw.) Now you know at least one person who understands the ‘no dating’ thing.

    Thanks for your kind words.

  16. As the “former single mom”, I think we only date (and sometimes, like me) marry, because we feel that we need to for some reason. Societal pressures, financial reasons, who knows? I’m here to say, being a single mom was beautiful, I loved it, and I’ll always be one in my heart-because it’s me and my girl…always.

  17. msmollie

    Right on! I love great stories about successful single moms. I still share a bed with my daughter every night, she’s 3 and enjoy it. When I was 8 mths pregnant I was fired from my job (I still think for being pregnant and not wanting to get married), moved home and was the best thing that happened. Thanks!

  18. Awwwww! I’m glad I took the time to look around your site and discovered this little gem…all about you.

    It’s nice to get to know you a little better. I really enjoy your blog.

  19. Shannon — I can so relate. I know if I ever do marry, it’ll always be MP and me in my heart – two against the world.

    msmollie — Funny how things all seem to happen for a reason, huh? Said it before and I’ll say it again and again and again … single moms ROCK! Thanks for stopping by!

    Auds — Thanks so much. I’m enjoying yours too! (And of course, the British slang education … )

  20. that’s quite a story. i’ve already enjoyed your smart writing and sense of humor, and looking forward to reading more. rock on mommypie.

  21. Hi Mommypie!

    I love discovering awesome single momma bloggers. I would be honored to exchange blog roll links with you!

    oh! and definitely come join us on iHeartSingleParents.com– we are growing fast and our community loves to hear about sassy blogs like yours!

  22. Thank you for the comment on my blog and its soooo great to see you on iHeart!!! =)
    Yeah!!

  23. Wow. All I can say is, Wow. You rock.

  24. wow that is such a powerful story. *hugs* to you and your little one!

  25. And now here I am on this one too. I also moved back home after 15 years, sleep in the same bed with both kids now, and like being single (have no idea how to do that dating thing with these guys unless they come too, and then I’m faced with going out with two boys, which I don’t like to do when I’m not dating, so why would I like it if I throw in the stress of meeting someone new…anyway). I have no doubt you’ll achieve MILF status (which isn’t to say you don’t have it now, simply that you’ll have it whenever you want it…I’m pretty articulate, don’t you think?).

  26. Hi Mommypie. I found your blog last month, lost it soon after (don’t ask) and thankfully found it again thanks to mssinglemama hassling me for not knowing about the funniest mama blogger out there. I’m making up for lost time now and have taken up residence in your archive. I hope to have something intelligent to say after I’ve emerged. Right now we’ll both have to settle for, um, …hi.

  27. You know – I start clicking on all kinds of links and sometimes, I’ll come across a gem of a blog like yours.
    I’m not a single mom but I am a mom and that’s always a good start to conversation.

    Thanks for your wonderful posting!

    (PS – it looks like you’re kind of a big deal in the blogosphere. I’m very new but learning & loving it!)

  28. I am new to your blog, but love it. And I love this story- it’s so Baby Boom for the 21st century!

  29. Wow! Perfect intro. :)

  30. Your wonderful blog is now in my reader. If you have anything to comment about this:

    http://knaphrodesiac.blogspot.com/2008/09/necessity-is-mother-of-invention.html

    …your feedback is appreciated.

  31. 3limes

    This is a wonderful blog! Funny, sweet, lovable…
    Well done.
    I have huge admiration for single moms. Sounds like you handle it all with panache.

    check me out at 3limes.wordpress.com.

    S

  32. I just found you through my Reader….and now added you to my Reader. Love finding great blogs like yours :)

  33. Rick's Cafe

    Fast forward 15-18 years and you will be interested in dating again AND will find the time.

    Oops, that’s cafe time….normal human time is probably about half that. Or viewed from a different perspective; I’m slower than molasses in January and almost as stubborn.

  34. I found your blog and I love it! I’m a new reader and can’t wait to see more posts!!

  35. Dee

    Hi!
    Awesome blog!!
    So glad I found you…
    Twittermoms Rock :o)

  36. thetick

    I never bookmark anything! But how can I resist this? From now on I check email, and mommypie everytime I sit on my awefully hard wooden office chair.

    You’re the best.

  37. lesleyfamily

    I’m not entirely sure how I ended up here on your blog, MommyPie, but I’m glad I did. My employer probably disagrees. I have looming deadlines (read: tomorrow), yet here I am reading about DickDonalds and sending balloons to heaven.

    It’s good stuff, your site. Lots of people try to be funny; you actually are. Thanks and keep writing/photoshopping.

  38. polymerclaysnails

    Single mommy’s rock!!! I’m a single mother as well trying to raise a little itty bitty 4 y/o boy on my own …

    I love this blog and will follow it between SpongeBob episodes LOL … I’m sorry to read about MP’s father’s untimely death … I can’t wait to catch up on your story … Please, when you have a chance, check out my blog:

    http://polymerclaysnails.wordpress.com

  39. Hi! I’m glad i found your blog. I’m a single mother too. I love reading your posts!

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