BLOGHERNOT ’08. Kum Bai Ya Doogs.

Holy it on a stick. This weekend has been a BLAST. Capital. Bold. B-L-A-S-T. I’m feelin’ all warm and squishy inside and kind of in love with the Doogs right now. You guys MADE the event. You spread out and pushed the link love. And hopefully made a few new blog buds along the way.

I LOVE watching connections being made. Seeing that excitement when someone finds a new blog they connect with. Finding someone who speaks uniquely to them. I am in awe of you all for simply venturing into this deep and wide pool.

That being said, we’ll be closing BlogHerNot with a very relevant seminar entry by Jozet at Halushki, who is now my MAJOR BLOG CRUSH. This particular post appeared on The Wind in Your Vagina, home of Super Phenom Black Hockey Jesus. It’s freakin’ hilarious and required reading before going ANY FURTHER.

The Meta Meta Blog Post of All Time
Instructor: Jozet from Halushki

See? Told you.

And now, I’m thinking a partial recap of the festivities is in order. Because, by it’s very nature, BlogHerNot is a fluid, casual, come-and-go kind of event. You were bound to miss a few magic moments.

MommyTime from Mommy’s Martini held an improptu pre-function gathering in her room at the Women’s Colony, serving her trademark Chocolate and French Martinis before retiring for the night to go over the day’s seminars. A Bud Light Girl myself, I humored her and had a few. I do believe I’ve found a new drink.

Things took off Friday night at The Human Party, hosted by glitter-obsessed Single Working Mommy. (She’s still there if you want to say hello.) Jen (The Mom) from Cheaper Than Therapy arrived with a bottle of vino she’d purchased earlier in the day.

She thought the label was pretty.

When Matter of Fact Mommy offered to give her a girly makeover, she eagerly agreed. Poor thing had no idea. She spent the remainder of the night blissfully unaware she’d been hazed.

BLOG VIRGIN.

There was much celebration.

Kristin from Stay At Home Something, Di from Live and Let Di and Corrine from Donna Reed in Blue Jeans bonded over giant beers after discovering they each secretly enjoyed dressing like Swiss Miss.

Deb at San Diego Momma had her heart set on a nice, relaxing soak in the hot tub.

However, Steph from The Stephford Diaries kept showing up everywhere, finally going off the deep end. For all anyone knows, the two are still there.

Black Hockey Jesus took a quick break from his vacation and made a surprise appearance. Everyone who knows him, knows he’s amazing on the guitar. But things got a little surreal and out of character when he broke out the Kum Bai Ya.

He said he was more Cum. Not so much Bai Ya.

And all was right with the universe.

Until things started to get outta hand.

That’s me, Laurie from Foolery and Auds from Barking Mad. I have no explanation. However, it’s clear we could all use a little support.

At the urging of Bejewell from The Bean, Catkins from My Doppleganger took a drink every time someone tweeted about BlogHer.

Which resulted in a swift shortage of alcohol.

And that’s when everyone started drinking glitter.

Which must have somehow magically summoned a wayward porn star, who wouldn’t leave Black Hockey Jesus alone.

Pimp Daddy was fine with that.

With nothing left to drink, and the appetizers from Mel, A Dramatic Mommy, all gone, things started winding down.

Closing in on midnight, BikerChick, having had one too many Jello shots, announced she had to be up early, hopped on her bike, and nearly wiped out the appropriately attired Preppy Princess. Being a dutiful blogger, I took a photo. Unfortunately, the resulting pink and green madras mess is too graphic to post. I do have SOME ethics.

Momma Mary agreed to be designated driver, but she and Schmitty the Van never DID show up.

And remember our Keynote Speaker? Sadly, George never showed up either. I’m guessing it had something to do with the photo circulating at BlogHerNot.

Yeah, I don’t blame him.

And now, ma Doogs, as the first ever BlogHerNot officially comes to a close, I think it’s safe to say we’ve learned a valuable lesson.

Contrary to popular belief, the ruffage gained from drinking glitter, in fact, has no real dietary value. It only makes you sparkle-y and drunk.

BlogHerNot ’08!

38 Comments

Filed under Party Piece

38 responses to “BLOGHERNOT ’08. Kum Bai Ya Doogs.

  1. I can’t take you girls anywhere!!!!

    Sorry this comment could not be longer, but I am obviously in need of Jello shot rehab. I am now blind in one eye. Of course, that could be the two-day hangover I’m sporting.

    Now I’m off to see if Maybe Victoria’s Secret wouldn’t like to help host a give-away at the Casa because as you so succintly stated, we could use a little SUPPORT!

    P.S. Hubby choked on his morning cuppa whilst reading this.

  2. aliasmother

    Boy, not since my maternity leave have I so much regretted only having dial-up at home. I spent all that time drinking alone this weekend and I could have been doing glitter shots with all of you.

    Rock on, ladies. Rock on.

    (And what’s wrong with being sparkle-y and drunk? Sounds like a good combo to me!)

  3. Sounds like one hell of a good time!

    Poor George.

  4. I’m not gonna lie — I’ve still got glitter in places it shouldn’t be. But it was all worth it. Thanks to the Hostess with the Mostest!

  5. I’m so pissed (and not in the good drunk way that you all were). My husband comandeered our computer and would only let me on every few hours, so I could only pop in to the pary here and there. My revenge? I’m going to get a laptop. He’ll be hanging his head all the way down to his sorry ass and wishing he’d let me party a little harder. Momma’s gotta have some time with the ladies, too!

    Keep on rockin’ in the free world, ya’ll.

  6. SO MUCH FUN! And I have been missing it all! GRRR….How much longer is bloghernot running?? Love the photoshop!

  7. It’s clear we could all use a little support–LOL! I love how you’ve unbuttoned and unzipped “your” pants for the photo. Very nice.

  8. BUDWISER! You ladies are hot!

    Thanks for hosting such a fab party!

    I’m still looking for my other shoe, it’s a Croc…I mean a STILETTO.

  9. I totally snuck in with my shrink… Cheaper than therapy and I drooled over everyones boobs and now I am here apologizing…

  10. Bravo, Miss Pie, all the way around! Still have about four classes to visit to beg the instructors for extensions because I’ve never set foot in those classrooms before the finals. Lucky for me I have experience there, or so my nightmares tell me.

    Also? Thanks for giving me hooters. Don’t even care that they’re bloodshot. They’re the nicest gazongas I’ll ever have.

    MWAHH!

    – Laurie, a.k.a. WEIS

  11. Awesome! Awesome! convention/blog/drunk fest.

    You should be a party planner and make like a gazillion dollars planning sweet 16 birthday parties for all those girls on that reality show of the same name.

  12. another co-worker

    Wow, looks like you had a great time this weekend! Don’t show up to work hungover tomorrow morning, that’s my job.

  13. O…M…G.

    You officially win the award for Most Wicked Awesome Photoshopping Skillz EVAH!

    Wow!

    Next time, I want in on the Budweiser frog thing. Although, my frog might look a tad near-sighted.

    Well done! BlogHerNot was a success and made missing that other conference not sting quite so badly.

  14. Next time I’ll make double batch. I had no idea the recipe would be such a hit. For those who didn’t get to taste, you have Deb to blame!

    That was a fabulous party! Thank goodness my son is old enough to pour his own cereal because my reader just grew exponentially.

    Mommy Pie you have a new career as an event planner. Perhaps I can cater?

  15. Thanks for hosting such a hilariously good time, Mommy Pie! And thanks to all the fabulous instructors and bloggers who made it all happen…

    Oh, oops, is that the teleprompter prompting me to wrap it up? Um, okay, I guess I’ll have to thank Jesus and my mother later.

    I heart BlogHerNot! I’ll be back next year if I’m not at BlogHer (which is a high probability…and I may attend BHN from the conference, hmm?)

    Thanks for making my weekend, ladies.

  16. OH. MY. GOD. I am dying at that post. Jello shots, beer and glitter were consumed by the masses. I’ve placed my parting gift right outside my doorstep so in the event I ever come home that drunk again, I can just make a little bed in the mulch…similar to the baby Jesus and pass out for a little while. That is something I will carry with me forever.
    Also – I have “met” some amazing bloggers and I am so grateful for my insomniatic (yes, I just made that a word, if it wasn’t already) blog surfing to find you all!

  17. Hilarious. I would rather go to this conference.

  18. Great conference, MP!

    Thanks for the public service! I’ve met some wonderful people and it’s all because of you.

    Also, just a note: that’s not a hot tub I’m in. It’s a bean fart pool.

    (Sorry. I’ve got a real serious finding-farts-funny addiction over here.)

  19. I need a bloody mary and two Excedrin.

  20. Di

    Brilliant! We all look fabulous. So glad I found all of you. It made the weekend bearable!

  21. Sorry I was a no-show. I have excuses. I swear! And some of them are even true!

    This cold. It’s really killing me. If the cold doesn’t then the laughing fit from reading about the conference — it will!

  22. I might just need to become un-anonymous so you can photoshop my head on hilarious pictures.

    Although I was SO drunk the last two nights, I might have outted myself. Who knows?

    Thanks to everyone who stopped by The Human Party. And remember that waiver you signed… I’m not responsible for any injury, damage or loss of property due to glitter consumption.

  23. MommyPie, LOVED your photos documenting all the debauchery!

    And even more than that, I love the Mom Jeans you are rockin.

  24. I swear I was not responsible for the hot Marines who crashed the party the other night. Honest to God. (Seriously honey! I’m an Army girl, through and through!)

    It was me that spilled the guacamole though. And just so you know? Beer does not get avocado stains out of clothing. Sad, but true.

  25. MommyPie, I don’t know you, but I was at BlogHer (for realz) this weekend and heard about you from like 500 people. You were a hot commodity. Maybe NOT going makes you even cooler than going?!?!

    Anyway, just wanted you to know.

    http://www.WorkingMomsAgainstGuilt.com

    http://www.MrandMrsGetFit.com

  26. I’m so glad the martinis were in my room and the jello and glitter shots were just down the hall because if I’d had to drive home from all this partying… well, let’s just say there would have been some sleeping in the car prior to driving going on.

    But what I want to know is: who WAS sleeping in my car?? Because there is glitter *all over* the carpet and the seats, and I am not even kidding. It’s everywhere. And don’t go trying to blame the Preschool Art Projects crowd, either, whoever you are, because I’ll find out the truth, so you might as well fess up right now. Then, come on over to clean up the mess, and drink martinis with me. Cuz I sorely need a sippin’ buddy tonight! :)

  27. This weekend was more fun than I should ever be allowed to have. Excellent, excellent idea, MP.

  28. Pingback: Stay At Home Something » Blog Archive » I like this

  29. I’m waving my sparkle stick and saying thank you to all of you who gave me such awesome reads this weekend!!!!!!

  30. Pingback: The Best of the Single Parent Blogosphere « Ms. Single Mama

  31. Pingback: I’m a Cat’s Ass AND an Award Winner « The Bean

  32. holy crap what did i miss! i still don’t know what this bloghernot is about but i want in!

  33. HOLY COW! My boobs have never looked so good! AWESOME! Thanks Mommy Pie!

  34. Eatin’ sparkles? Makes mah dookie twankle.

  35. Finally, I’m back… and just wanted to say: great idea, girlfriend! I love this. You go!!

    It was my first time at a real, live BlogHer event (right here, in San Fran) and it was an odd time indeed. So many bloggers have written this week about how it felt like the first day of junior high again, being thrown in with 1,000 women you’ve never met. (You took those uncomfortable feelings away with BlogHerNot.) I will add that most of the bloggers married and I’d say that 95 percent were white… No judging. Just my interesting 2 cents.

  36. If it wasn’t for my job, I could actually get more blogging done. I’m so disappointed I couldn’t participate more. Count me in for ’09!

  37. Oh Miss MommyPie, thanks for checking on us after the wreck!

    Yes, we have mostly recovered, but sadly, there was pink and green fashion dust everywhere! OMG, you should have been there.

    Well, I guess in a way you were with the photos. Thank god you didn’t post them, it would have been simply wretched, more-than-horrid. Do you know what happens to pink and green madras fibers when a person who has ingested too many jello shots crashes into you on their Segue? In a word? It is wretched, simply wretched.

    Lilly would die if she knew, but fortunately that extra-wide super-seersucker-plus headband was strong enough to save me, and I was able to dangle by one flip-flop for hour until the rescue crew could get the Jaws’ O Life in there. It was a close call and frankly, very frightening when The Princess Consort almost called The Preppy Police because it seemed there wasn’t a natural fiber to be found anywhere that I could cloak myself in! We managed to have Brooks deliver some things to the hotel, but we were in Polyester Peril, I can tell you that much.

    As far as the rest of me goes, once the preppy dust dissipated I managed to escape with only one broken nail; the fuchsia polish wasn’t even chipped on any of the others. So it looked much worse than it was. (There was a little mascara smudging, but truthfully, nowhere near as awful as when I wept after being given the Preppy Princess Magic Wand at the pageant.)

    Thanks for checking on us. You are so sweet.

    Back to Mad Men and the party frock at the hotel. (Which happens to be pink, I might add.)

    ‘Night.
    TP

  38. I should’ve known that I wasn’t the only one to create a sub-conference. Yours looks as successful as mine and maybe better?! :)

    http://one80three60.blogspot.com/search/label/BlogWhore

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