Pimp Mommy Earns a Buck

This past weekend was one for the books — MP earned her very first dollar.

The temperature reached the mid-60s Saturday before plummeting again Monday night, ushering in yet another round of snow Tuesday morning. Knowing all too well the weather’s fickle nature ’round these parts, we took full advantage of Saturday’s beautifully sunny day by washing the car. It was sorely needed.

Working in concert, Grammy manned the hose, I vacuumed the floorboards, and MP dusted, polished and buffed the interior.

I think she had ulterior motives for picking that job.

Now you see her.

Now you don’t.

Hear that noise? That’s the suckage that is my camera.

Anyhoo, she did such a great job, Grammy rewarded her with her very first dollar. If you can’t tell from the smugness, she thought it was pretty cool.

So last night, after picking her up from preschool, she got to spend her dollar. After a little comparison shopping, she settled on a fruit roll-up and a sucker. I DID have a few photos to document the event. I would show them to you, however, that would mean the memory card was actually IN the camera when I took the photos. It was not. Alas.

At any rate, I think we’re on the way toward instilling a good work ethic. And I already see hints of an entrepreneur in the making.

Like Daughter, Like Mother (er, kinda)
In addition to scouring between the sofa cushions and raiding the dryer for loose change, I too began earning money from a very early age. Around first grade, kids would actually pay me to draw customized cartoons of whatever their little hearts desired. Fools. The cartoons were really bad, and more often than not depicted a teacher saying something stupid. Belly laughs, I know.

And then later, somewhere in between the pet sitting and the lemonade stands, my puny second grade brain came up with a slightly seedy money-making scheme.

Back in the ’70s, my mom read Cosmopolitan magazine. Back in the ’70s, Cosmo was even … uh … bolder? … than it is now. Cosmo models were frequently topless, and occasionally fully nekid. This meant nothing to me, but apparently, somehow I knew it there was a buck to be earned. Naturally, I did what any budding entrepreneur would do.

I cut out the photos and sold them to the boys for a dollar each.

The details of exactly how I concocted the whole racket are fuzzy at best. Suffice it to say, after a good run, I was busted in the boy’s bathroom making a deal. Oh, the humiliation. My mother was notified that I brought obscene photos to school. I was grounded. And Cosmo was never seen in the house again. I have no idea what my poor mother thought was going on, but I’m pretty sure no one realized it was just business.

It could’ve been worse. I could’ve cut up National Geographic. Now THAT’s graphic.


Filed under Piece of the Past

15 responses to “Pimp Mommy Earns a Buck

  1. Oh the stories I have about earning money as a kid. My brother and I were ruthless. We’d do anything, from cleaning the grandparents’ homes to water plants to shopping for elderly neighborhood residents. One year we went to the yearly fireman’s parade (BIG DEAL) at the shore and brought M&Ms with us. We walked up and down the parade route for four hours and sold every flipping box and made over $100. Not bad for a 10yo and a 12yo, huh?

  2. Wow. And I thought a lemonade stand was creative! Quite the money-maker! Too funny.

  3. THIS IS AWESOME! You kick butt. I’m totally loving trying to imagine that phone call from school from a mother’s point of view. I mean, was she stunned beyond stunned?

  4. Domestic Goddess — Over 100 smackers? For M&Ms? That IS impressive.

    OK — God only knows … Knowing her though, she probably thought I was gay. Or seriously disturbed. I just remember getting in BIG trouble.

  5. MommyTime

    That is a fabulous story! I never did anything that creative. My sister and I tried to sell flower seeds one summer. (Our mother had a beautiful garden that was the admiration of the street.) We spent ages collecting and packaging them. And by the time that part was done, we were too tired to pound the pavement selling them… oh well…

  6. My oldest daughter is in a huge money making scheming stage. Better watch what I leave laying around the house!

  7. MT — Flower seeds! I love it! I may just steal that one for MP when she gets a little older 🙂

    BM — Seriously. The way a scheming kid’s brain works is scary.

  8. singleworkingmommy

    Ok. Seriously? Cosmo had nekkid pictures of women in the 70s? Or is that some sort of joke I’m not getting and you actually mean “Playboy”? But you have a picture of Cosmo. Why would I (or your mom) want to look at nekkid pictures of other women? I mean, yeah, female bodies are nice, but..

    Color me cosmofused.

    Funny story though.

  9. Totally serious. Cosmo was pretty crazy back in the day. I think it was more of a fashion/art thing — not like it was porn or anything. But yeah, weird, huh?

    I don’t know if you remember they used to have male centerfolds too? Of course they never showed bits and pieces … I remember Burt Reynolds in particular. Hairy, hairy man. Ew.

  10. Sheesh…..I was never very creative when I was a kid (who knew it would be well into my 30’s before my “Martha” gene reared it’s ugly head), and who knew I coulda pimped out my mom’s National Geographics for some spare coinage….those nekkid tribal women with the stretched out necks and nipples the size of steering wheels probably woulda fetched a pretty penny on the “perverts of Jr. High” black market.

  11. Hey Auds, if you’re ever in need of some extra cash, it’s never too late …

  12. Ah, so you were a PORN dealer. Excellent. (I just conveniently won’t tell Mantel Man when I try to get him to go out to find and marry you.)

  13. Hey, he might like it … I can be reached at 867-530 nii-eee-iii-nnn.

  14. I cut out the photos and sold them to the boys for a dollar each.

    Oh that’s a much better idea than the free feels I would give everyone.

    I keed, I keed

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