Saving the world one worm at a time.

I finally unpacked my suitcase from the Hawaii trip. It’s been sitting in my living room since I walked through the door August 6. Contrary to popular opinion, I DO have a good explanation.

THIS.

THIS is what we found one morning in Hawaii, curled up dead (THANKYOUTHANKYOUTHANKYOU) on the dining room tile. I did not perform my bloggerly duty very well, however, failing to get an actual photo, but I Googled the muther, and this farked-up prehistoric-looking creature IS IT. According to the almighty Internet, some of these things are highly poisonous, even deadly.

Excellent.

So, although I washed everything in my suitcase just BEFORE coming home, I haven’t been able to to unpack. I can’t shake the fear that some deadly rain forest centipede stowed away in my luggage and burrowed into the lining of my sweatpants. Or shorts. Or PJs.

To compound the situation, a few days after coming home, I found a weird black and white striped worm on the couch. My first instinct was to scoop it up in a tissue, open the door and throw it outside. And then it dawned on me that I’d never seen anything like it. It looked like something that belonged in a warmer climate.

A STOWAWAY.

And THEN I imagined throwing it in the garden, inadvertently introducing a rogue species into the region, resulting in me being solely responsible for totally farking up the ecosystem. So I flushed it down the toilet and patted myself on the back for singlehandedly saving the future of mankind. [Thank yew, thankyewverymuch.]

Two days later, I found another. Worm spawn. More than likely hatched from eggs laid in my suitcase. Or the lining of my sweats.

THIS is why I haven’t unpacked until now. THIS is my good explanation. I thought maybe without food, whatever was hatching in my clothes would starve to death. Which, although completely sound logic in my opinion, doesn’t really matter because in the end I wound up washing everything again anyway.

And hanging it on my “clothes line” outside.

Where some native insect undoubtedly burrowed into my pockets and laid eggs.