Tag Archives: Twitter


I’m back in Blogland! Last Friday’s presentation behind me, I feel like I can finally focus on something other than Powerpoint. I feel like I MAY have actually caught up on some desperately needed sleep.

It went fairly well — aside from the fact that I went 1/2 hour OVER my allotted time. Which is a GOOD sign, right? Oh yeah, and there was only one teensy technical problem.

I had this very cool quick Twitter tutorial all cued up. I clicked on it. And THIS is what started playing.

Yeah, that was a little uncomfortable. SO not what I meant to show.

Anyhoo, thanks for all your words of encouragement, ma Doogs. Have I told you lately that I love you?



Filed under Pieceful Night's Sleep

I think my redirect trumps ’em all.

Yesterday, through the wellspring of information that is Twitter, I learned that John McCain owned the web site http://www.voteforthemilf.com. If you Twitter, you probably saw it too. Up until late yestereday afternoon, the URL DID redirect to McCain’s site. And then people were saying he DIDN’T own it. And after all the press, it mysteriously came down. If you’re interested, read this. She explains it in detail.

And then my co-worker, QB, told me that Obama owned www.votefortheblackguy.com. Go ahead. Click it. Goes right to Obama’s site.

Maybe they own the URLs, maybe they don’t. Thinking about it makes my brain swell.

Sometimes, out of sheer boredom, my college boyfriend and I would hang out late nights, drink a few beers, and make up phone sex phone numbers. I’d tell him, “dial 866-hot-dude” or “866-hor-ndog” or something stupid. (Sorry, if I tell you the really nasty ones, I’ll get all kinds of freak show traffic. I’m betting you can use your imagination.) We’d giggle like schoolkids and crack up when a woman with a sexy voice ALWAYS answered. It was a recording, of course, so we were never charged. Which meant we could keep it up FOREVER.

Good, clean fun.

Inspired, I tried http://www.votefortheoldguy.com. No luck.

I tried http://www.voteforthebrotha.com. Nada.

And I was sorely disappointed when http://www.voteformommypie.com didn’t redirect to the McCain/Palin site.

Which would be schweet.


Filed under Party Piece

Who doesn’t love a sure thing?

So, you know I have OCD, right? Bona fide, from birth, medically diagnosed Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder. The real deal, complete with a prescription to prove it, lest ye doubt. (Goooo drugs!)

I have ups and downs. And components of my OCD vary. Everyone who has it — TRULY has it — has different … things. For example, when mine is especially bad, I mentally count everything in sight. There’s a lot of adding. Then reducing to a single digit. There are good numbers and bad numbers. The maddening irony? I HATE math. But this is just ONE of my things. Just one on a very long list.

Blah blah blah. Another mommy blogger on drugs. BFD.

ANYHOO, last night I’m thinking, what if there were a component of OCD that compelled you to act out everything you read? How bad would THAT suck? Twitter would be from the Devil, and I would be at the mercy of every tweet.

Advertisers would LOVE me. One mention of their product and I’d buy it. I’d be a sure thing. And who doesn’t love a sure thing? Helluu toilet paper makers?? Helluu morticians?? Helluu strip clubs?? (SPAM and hot dog eaters, you’re excused.)

Yesterday, my Twitter OCD day would’ve looked like this:

10:22 p.m. @mothergoosemous MIL: “Every house has to have a piano. Every house has to have a bed too, but a piano is better.”
Dropped everything and went piano shopping.

10:23 @mooshinindy @VelveteenMind doughnuts.
Overwhelming urge to eat. Went to Dunkin’ Donuts.

10:36 @Mashable Break.
Just because. Dude. Have you SEEN his avitar??

10:38 @MaggieDammit Underwire in my bra just snapped. Thankfully, no one was hurt. (Twitter was made for moments JUST. LIKE. THIS.)
Whoa! Easy Tiger.

11:30 @andij1967 Out running errands in beautiful Utah weather. Next stop: Costco. That place gives me a shopping boner.
Went shopping. Which aroused me. A-GAIN.

11:45 @Mashable Break.
Helluuu Lovah.

12:48 @snackiepoo Haha @evehorizon! I will find a person hungry for an orgy. Must research!
Um, yeah.

12:53 @Mashable Break.
Um, yeah.

12:54 @teenagehelp I just pigged out on Spaghettios, something about a can of Spaghettios just make me happy!
*Sigh* Orgies aren’t what they used to be. Rush, rush, rush. Ravenous. Raid grocery store canned goods aisle.

12:59 @JenMaselli @alladither Go shopping!
Stimulate the economy.

1:50 @Hip_M0M “Don’t you wish your girlfriend was a freak, like me?” Don’t ask me where I got that from but it’s now stuck in my head.
Wave my freak flag. Bust a move in the car on the drive back to work. Driver in adjacent lane calls 911 to report epileptic seizure in progress.

2:10 @BackpackingDad Three pullups!!! Not, like, in a row.
Must. Exercise. Now. Hang from office doorway. Co-workers finally convinced I’ve lost it.

2:14 @AmyInOhio Damn you bossman!
Tell my boss how I really feel. Something about growing balls …? Am promptly fired.

2:17 @sweetney Am totally breaking up with the internet.
Depressed, I compose a Dear John letter.

2:21 @PetCobra Dan Cortese. There’s a name that evokes snide laughter.
And then cackle madly. Outside my office, co-workers don bullet-proof vests.

2:27 @mrsflinger IIS make me stick a fork in my eyeball and swirl it all around. Server FAIL.
Motherfarker. Ow?

3:37 @Mashable Break.
Ogle with remaining eye.

3:40 @rocksinmydryer It is impossible to listen to the song Zip-a-dee-doo-dah and not do a corny dance.
Exit work. Eye missing. Delirious with pain, I sing. And dance. Co-workers cower beneath their desks.

3:48 Log off and drive myself to the ER. Wheeled in by devastatingly cute orderly. Give a little wink. He vomits.

8:57 Return home with shiny new eyepatch. Am thinking I could totally make this work. Once my mail-order parrot arrives from South America.

8:58 Log back on.

9:16 @mamaspohr mamaspohr They need “CHEER,” “BOO,” “LAUGH,” and “CHANT,” signs, because this audience seems confused.
Break out the poster paint.

10:38 Log off, crawl into bed, exhausted.

10:40 @Mashable Break.
Okay, not THAT tired …


Filed under Piece of Insanity

Twitterho has a dream.

You know I’m a Twitterho.

Doogs, the New Media Douchebaggery has reached a new level.

My subconscious.

Twitter rehab may be in order.



Filed under Piece of Pop Culture

How a stupid waste of time reinforces my faith in humanity.

I’ve become a little addicted to Twitter. A month ago, I thought it sounded like the stupidest waste of time. Honestly, on paper, it STILL sounds like a stupid waste of time. But there’s something about it …

It’s habit-forming.

If I had to describe it, I’d say it’s a Richard Scarry book, without Lowly Worm.

Like the classic, What Do People Do All Day? (Or something like that …)

For whatever reason, it’s comforting to know what others are doing. Maybe it’s the bare, basic, real-time humanity. Follow enough people and you’ll very likely see every emotion imaginable expressed over the course of 24 hours.

Tonight for example, I suffered a huge disappointment. I was depressed. I wanted to cry. And I Twittered so. Within five minutes, a fellow Twit, Jessica from Moms Group Manual, reached out across Bloggywood with an unexpected show of concern. And then San Diego Momma did the same. And it actually made me feel better.

Yeah, yeah, I know.

New. Media. Douchebag.

I now appeal to all you skeptics out there — you have nothing to lose, so give it a shot! You don’t have to have a blog — anyone can do it. Just click on the Twitter link in the upper right corner of this page and sign up.

I’ll be your Twitterho … will you be mine?


Filed under Bits and Pieces

The Politics of Twitter

Yesterday I found out Obama Twitters. So, just for fun, I signed up to follow him. He has 33,109 followers, and he follows 34,002. His campaign’s a finely tuned marketing machine. They don’t miss a beat.

So, I checked out Hillary’s site to see if she Twitters. She does. She has 4,019 followers, and follows … NO ONE. Can you say bad marketing move? MAJOR faux pas in my humble opinion. Unless, of course, the goal is to convey total disinterest in her constituents.

Take notes from O, Hill. Nothing says “I care” more than THIS in your inbox.

I feel so important.

I checked out McCain. No Twitter. The man is Twitter-less. Probably not a great move either. Even if he can’t keep up with technology, the least he could do is keep up appearances.

So, because I’m all about equal opportunity, I was going to add all three to my list, just to see what they were talking about. I wound up only adding Barack, purely because his Tweets were slightly more interesting than Hillary’s. Slightly.

They could all do sooo much better. How about sexin’ it up a bit? Let me peek into your life a little deeper. Chances are, it wouldn’t sway my vote either way (which, btw is completely up in the air, and even if it weren’t, I probably wouldn’t tell you. Nothing personal. It’s just that I’m a lover, not a fighter.), but at least it would be interesting.

And who do they think they’re kidding? Does anyone really believe the candidates are truly the ones posting the actual Tweets? At a minimum, they should get aides with a sense of humor.

Or something.

Hey, I’ll be your Twitterho, politicos. Hire Mommypie!

See what I think about when MP naps?

Mkay. Done with the political stuff. Until I post co-work QB’s most excellent pics and commentary from the Obama rally last week …


Filed under Party Piece