Tag Archives: potty

Bathroom Talk

invitation70.jpgMP’s been sitting on the potty for awhile. I poke my head into the bathroom.

“Mama, I’m getting odor.”

“Wha??”

“I’m getting OH-DUR!”

“Mmm …”

“I’m almost FUR!” (Holding four fingers up.)

Oooohhhh.

“Yes, you ARE getting older.”

“I can’t wait for my party!” (Arm pump, arm pump)

Ten minutes elapse. MP bellows from the bathroom.

“Maaaamaa!”

“MAH-MAH! Cleared for takeoff!

“What?”

“KUH-LEARD for takeoff!!”

Apparently, new code for ‘Come wipe my butt.’

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Piece of Crap: Kandoo ‘Flushable’ Wipes

And this week’s craptastic award goes to … (drum role please)

KandooFlushable” Wipes (or any baby/toddler wipe that claims to be flushable, for that matter).

Seriously. Can it get more accurate than that?

Ankle deep into the potty training years, I thought these lovely little inventions were a Godsend. I’ve been happily flushing away for nearly two years now. (As MaggiePie is fond of saying … oh, silly woman.)

A few months ago, a sudden overwhelming stench and rapidly growing pool of filth — seeping, seemingly from the depths of Hell (located conveniently just outside my back door, btw) — propelled me to the yellow pages. Later that afternoon, I watched as my new sulphur spring exploded. Five hundred dollars and mounds of dirt later, I was told this was, in fact, not the handiwork of the Devil, but of … Kandoo.

“Do you have a young child in the house?”

Yeeesss …”

“Wipes.”

“Wipes??”

“Wipes.”

I watched in horror as my plumber surfaced with huge wads of what looked like dirty rags.

“But the package says they’re flushable!” (Silly, silly woman.)

“I can’t tell you how many times I’ve seen this. I dig up at least one system per week that’s plugged with these things. It’s unbelievable.”

(Note to reader: Keep in mind, I live in a relatively small town, and one a week for one plumber is A LOT.)

“But the package says they’re FLUSHABLE.”

Anything’s technically flushable. Gravel is flushable. I can’t believe these things are still on the market.”

I’m sorry … WTF??!?


The long and short of it (according to my plumber) is, “flushable” does not necessarily mean biodegradable, although marketing efforts clearly lead the consumer to believe otherwise. Lesson learned.

After a little research, it seems this is happening all over the place – and not just in the U.S. Here’s some info I wish I would’ve had two years ago (these are just a few of the top Google links):

Motive Grounds
Mommysavers Forums
Amazon Reviews
Dooyoo
That Hideous Man

There’s almost nothing I hate more than to be made a fool of. All things considered, I pride myself on being a reasonably intelligent person, and I was duped. Yes, MommyPie’s more than a little pissed off. So, in appreciation, Kandoo, let me be the first to congratulate you on becoming the first product to earn my very personal Piece of Crap Award.

Stay tuned for more turds in the punchbowl, Gentle Reader …

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