Tag Archives: parenting

It’s MP’s world. I just live in it.

I usually have Friday’s off, but last week was crazy busy, which meant I had to run into work for a few hours Friday afternoon. Which meant I had to bring MP with me. Which meant helluuuu Happy Meal. I figured it’d keep her occupied for at least 25 minutes.

We were sitting in the McDonald’s drive-thru when MP made an observation.

“Heeeey … the McDonald’s sign looks like a big ‘M.'”

“Yep. And you know why? Sound out McDonald’s. What does it start with?”

“Mmmmmmm. M!”

“That’s right.”

(pause)

(pause)

“So if it started with a ‘D’ it would be DickDonald’s.

dickdonalds

“And the sign would have a big ‘D’ instead of an ‘M!'”

(Uncontrollable laughter) “Yes, it WOULD.”

“Whoa. Aaaawesome.”

dickdonald

Hooked on Phonics. Mommypie gives it two thumbs up.

WAY up.

15 Comments

Filed under Make Me Laugh Monday

Gangsters, lumberjacks and yellow snow.

This …

mobilepart

is part of MP’s baby doll crib. Part of the mobile that connects to MP’s baby doll crib, to be exact. A girly thing.

Last night, MP emerged from her room, walked to the bathroom, and brandishing the pink plastic mobile part with both hands, looked at herself in the mirror.

“All right, let’s see what this baby can do.”
Snarly face. Machine gun sound.

Um, WHAT? (Trust me, it wasn’t easy to keep a straight face.)

“We don’t play guns, MP.”

“I’m not,” she says, still pointing her Tommy Gun at her reflection.

“Yes you are.”

And then, like the Master of Misdirection she is, MP began sawing the countertop.

“I was playing SAWS. This is a SAW. See?”

Okay, I know it’s more of a boy thing, and might sound a bit out of character for a four-year-old girl, but I gotta admit … I’m not really all that surprised.

This is the child who, earlier this week, as we were rushing into preschool purposefully spilled her lemonade from its sippy cup, leaving a yellow trail in the snow. Laughing to herself, and clearly VERY pleased with her effort, she noted that people were going to think it was pee.

“Heh heh.”

*sigh*

My daughter is Beavis.

12 Comments

Filed under At Piece with Yourself

Swap Mamas goes LIVE!

Okay, this is it. I’m unveiling my second baby. The reason I’ve pretty much dropped off the face of the planet these past few months.

swapmamasheader_9

TA-DA!!!

I’m telling the economy to SUCK IT. Won’t you join me? I would be thrilled beyond belief if you stopped by SwapMamas, became a member (it’s FREE!), and helped me spread the word.

I’ve seen the amazing good that can happen when mamas come together — the possibilities are endless.

Truly.

And while you’re at it, if you’re on Twitter, don’t forget to follow me at http://twitter.com/swapmamas — I promise to follow you back!

Can’t wait to see you there!

8 Comments

Filed under A Little Piece of My Heart

A modern day holiday story worth re-telling.

After a long day, some quality time with extended family, and what feels like 12 lbs of Grammy’s cooking settling in my belly, MP and I are home, readying to roll ourselves into bed.

As we read the final story of the night, I held her tight and said a silent prayer of thanks for this beautiful child I adore and can’t imagine life without. This child I love more than life itself.

And my thoughts turned to another blogger, who also has a daughter. Two weeks ago, she reached out across the Blogosphere, in the hopes that someone, somewhere would help save her child’s life. With the outpouring of support I’ve seen all over the Internet this past week, I realize chances are good you’re probably already familiar with her story, but on the off chance you aren’t, I thought I’d share.

She’s come into my thoughts nearly every day since I read this post. I spent two years working in the organ donation industry. I’ve been a passionate advocate for the cause ever since. And three years ago, my SIL donated her kidney to her mother. I had a small idea what this blogger’s daughter may have ahead.

More than that, though, I’m a mom. I couldn’t imagine being in her shoes.

And now, against all odds, it seems her prayers have been answered. What an incredible testament to the power of the Internet, and this amazing community we’re all a part of.

I am in awe.

Today, among many, many other things, I am thankful for connectivity. For all of YOU. And for a renewal of faith that miracles DO happen.

Happy Thanksgiving, Doogs. You rock.

4 Comments

Filed under A Little Piece of My Heart

I know there’s a lesson in here somewhere.

Once a month I volunteer at a local elementary school. United Way provides an after-school program for kids whose parents have to work, and I help out with whatever they may need that day. Sometimes it’s helping kids with homework, sometimes it’s playing with them on the monkey bars.

This week, as I’m pulling up to the school, I see flashing lights in my rear view mirror. Totally taken off guard, I park in front of a chain link fence bordering the playground. Two cops get out of their cruiser — one of them, I kid you not, crept up the side of the car, hand on her holstered gun like she was ready to take me out. Keep in mind, the lights are still going. And now, the kids are starting to gather along the fence.

Apparently I “blew through the school zone going 29 MPH.” I said the sun was in my eyes. I said the school crept up on me — I can never remember how to get there. I said I had no idea I was going 29 MPH. All true. The best part, though?

COP: Are you a parent? Are you picking up your child?

ME: No. I’m a volunteer.

COP: Oh, really?

ME: Mmm hmm — for the United Way After School Program? I’m here to help the kids with their homework until their parents can pick them up.

Ooh yeah Baby. An even BETTER answer than “I have diarrhea.” (Which I’m SO going to use someday.)

Now the kids are waving.

We talk a little longer, he checks my license, registration, insurance, etc. and tells me he’s letting me off with a warning.

Schweet.

Mommypie. Model Citizen. Example Setter.

11 Comments

Filed under Life Lessons

Newsflash!

This just in.

elmoflash

Elmo’s a perv.

P.S. Thanks QB for makin’ my day.

17 Comments

Filed under Bits and Pieces

Drill Diva’s Holiday Decorating Tip #31

Grammy says she likes Shabby Chic.

In this case, Redneck Decorating Tips may be more accurate.

Either way, I think she’s on to something.

Eat your heart out, Martha.

23 Comments

Filed under Art Piece

I knew this day would come.

Sunday morning, MP let me sleep in a little bit while she watched cartoons. When I woke up and emerged from the bedroom, she was shuffling around with the kitchen broom.

I asked her what she was doing and she mumbled something about sweeping up the bathroom. Not sure what she was talking about, I peeked my head in the doorway.

And saw this.

Mounds and mounds of hair.

And when I looked closely, I saw the damage. All in all, I have to say, she did a pretty good job perfecting the Crack Shag. She was SO proud, I couldn’t help but smile.

“Mommy, I did it just the way the Hair Cutter Lady does it! I squirted with this (Johnson’s No More Tangles), just like the lady, then combed it and cut it! Just the way I’m supposed to!”

So last night we made a visit to the Hair Cutter Lady for a little damage control. MP now has a bob.

Which is actually pretty cute.

We have agreed that from now on however, do-it-yourselfers are off limits.

33 Comments

Filed under Piecing it Together

So blank I can’t even come up with a title for this post.

So, I’m at a blog impasse. I got nothin’. My blog brain is 100% blank.

Except for this.

MP and I spent an inordinate amount of time watching these guys a few months ago. I would’ve packed a lunch and brought a blanket had I known we’d hit the free entertainment mother lode. Seriously. These two gave the Costco Free Library a run for its money.

Okay, so maybe 98% blank.

More than likely, this week will be light on the posts — I have my big Social Media presentation Friday morning and seeing how I HATE public speaking, I’m finding it hard to focus on anything else. Because I have to speak for an HOUR. To people who are coming from all over the state.

Maybe I should show them the New Media Douchebag video. You know … to break the ice.

I’m so screwed.

9 Comments

Filed under No Piece

But it kills 99.9% of bacteria in 15 seconds …

MP and I have been fighting off colds for a few days now. I am the color of cream of celery soup. MP is ASKING to go straight to bed after dinner. Somethin’ ain’t right, and I don’t understand it.

Especially in light of the fact we’ve been wiping our hands and faces with THESE bad boys.

Which, in my defense, look suspiciously similar to THESE.

But, to cut costs, I went the Tarzhay brand way, bought the generic, left them in the car, and have been using them on MP and myself every day for the past few weeks. Only after a few days of using them as Kleenex and blowing my NOSE into them, did I notice they left my membranes horribly dry. Drippy, but dry. And smelling like an institution.

Upon closer inspection …

Which I failed to notice. The only thing I saw was:

Kills the common flu virus!

Kills 99.9% of bacteria in 15 seconds!

Alcohol-free!

Bleach-free!

Crap. I guess this means disinfecting the dog’s poo-face is out of the question.

I’m goin’ to bed.

33 Comments

Filed under Confessional