Hell, I already have the hypoallergenic dog …

Foolery did it. So I had to do it.

My slogan was “LET THEM EAT PIE,” but somehow, that didn’t sound right.

Go make your own campaign poster at obamicon.me and if you post it, include linkage in the comments. It’s fun! It’s easy! And best of all, it’s yet ANOTHER way to dick around at work!

Best Electric Boogaloo gets my vote.

If you’re still undecided about the election, go to YouTube and search for “Barack Dancing.” Then, ask yourself the very important question: Who would you rather see dancing at the Inaugural Ball?

Michelle and Barack? Or Cindy and John?

The answer seems clear until you remember Wildcard Couple Sarah and Todd. And SP’s “Roof is on Fire” moves and Dance Face showcased on SNL last week. If the Republicans lose Nov. 4, I SO want to see her on next season’s Dancing with the Stars.

Pulling THESE dance moves:

Or maybe THESE.

I think my redirect trumps ‘em all.

Yesterday, through the wellspring of information that is Twitter, I learned that John McCain owned the web site http://www.voteforthemilf.com. If you Twitter, you probably saw it too. Up until late yestereday afternoon, the URL DID redirect to McCain’s site. And then people were saying he DIDN’T own it. And after all the press, it mysteriously came down. If you’re interested, read this. She explains it in detail.

And then my co-worker, QB, told me that Obama owned www.votefortheblackguy.com. Go ahead. Click it. Goes right to Obama’s site.

Maybe they own the URLs, maybe they don’t. Thinking about it makes my brain swell.

Sometimes, out of sheer boredom, my college boyfriend and I would hang out late nights, drink a few beers, and make up phone sex phone numbers. I’d tell him, “dial 866-hot-dude” or “866-hor-ndog” or something stupid. (Sorry, if I tell you the really nasty ones, I’ll get all kinds of freak show traffic. I’m betting you can use your imagination.) We’d giggle like schoolkids and crack up when a woman with a sexy voice ALWAYS answered. It was a recording, of course, so we were never charged. Which meant we could keep it up FOREVER.

Good, clean fun.

Inspired, I tried http://www.votefortheoldguy.com. No luck.

I tried http://www.voteforthebrotha.com. Nada.

And I was sorely disappointed when http://www.voteformommypie.com didn’t redirect to the McCain/Palin site.

Which would be schweet.

Because I’m 11. Or, how to get your ass fired.

You won’t get this … unless you read THIS first.

Mommypie delivers.

All that is stupid.

Sorry ’bout the funky sound. Apparently Vimeo doesn’t like barking dogs in the distance or my new tranny friend QB’s voice.

When ’80s dance music and 2008 technology collide.

Every waking moment since posting ‘The Politics of Twitter’ yesterday, THIS has been in my head.

Between that and a continuous mind loop of Obama doing the Running Man, I may need to be committed.

The politics of Twi-tter
The politics of oooo, feelin’ good
The politics of moo-vin’
Uh-huh
Is this message understood?

The Politics of Twitter

Yesterday I found out Obama Twitters. So, just for fun, I signed up to follow him. He has 33,109 followers, and he follows 34,002. His campaign’s a finely tuned marketing machine. They don’t miss a beat.

So, I checked out Hillary’s site to see if she Twitters. She does. She has 4,019 followers, and follows … NO ONE. Can you say bad marketing move? MAJOR faux pas in my humble opinion. Unless, of course, the goal is to convey total disinterest in her constituents.

Take notes from O, Hill. Nothing says “I care” more than THIS in your inbox.

I feel so important.

I checked out McCain. No Twitter. The man is Twitter-less. Probably not a great move either. Even if he can’t keep up with technology, the least he could do is keep up appearances.

So, because I’m all about equal opportunity, I was going to add all three to my list, just to see what they were talking about. I wound up only adding Barack, purely because his Tweets were slightly more interesting than Hillary’s. Slightly.

They could all do sooo much better. How about sexin’ it up a bit? Let me peek into your life a little deeper. Chances are, it wouldn’t sway my vote either way (which, btw is completely up in the air, and even if it weren’t, I probably wouldn’t tell you. Nothing personal. It’s just that I’m a lover, not a fighter.), but at least it would be interesting.

And who do they think they’re kidding? Does anyone really believe the candidates are truly the ones posting the actual Tweets? At a minimum, they should get aides with a sense of humor.

Or something.

Hey, I’ll be your Twitterho, politicos. Hire Mommypie!

See what I think about when MP naps?

Mkay. Done with the political stuff. Until I post co-work QB’s most excellent pics and commentary from the Obama rally last week …

Boosting my IQ while MP naps.

Watching CNN during MP’s SORELY NEEDED nap, I learned a few things, just from the news ticker.

THIS nipple cream is bad for nursing babies. REALLY bad.

Speaking of babies …

Communists are big fat ones. Members of Russia’s Communist Party are calling for a nationwide boycott of the new Indiana Jones movie, saying it “aims to undermine communist ideology and distort history.” They even went so far as to warn it could provoke another cold war.

It’s a MOVIE, people. A MO. VIE.

Speaking of ridiculousness …

The whole gas thing. It stinks. The nationwide average for a gallon of regular unleaded gasoline rose to $3.875 today. Retail gas prices are up nearly 10% from a JUST A MONTH AGO and have climbed more than 20% in the last 12 months.

There’s gotta be a better way.

AND, McMommy Twittered, Tweeted, Twatted (that was for you Foolery) that Obama Tweets. Just trying to imagine what THAT would look like.

“Hillary can suck it. I am SO winning this thing.”

“Practicing my dance moves for Inaugural Ball. I loves me some Running Man.” (Oh, pleeese click on that link. It made my night.)

“Sh*t. The dog pooped in the Change Tour Bus. AGAIN.”

Yeah. Think I’ll check it out …

Speaking of commies (waaay back there) …

MP’s response when I woke her up?

“MOP! MOP THE FLUURR!!!”

Aye aye, Cap’n.

Mama to Obama. Baby Needs A New Pair Of Shoes.

It was announced yesterday that Obama will be making a stop here in our little corner of the world next week. Free tix to the Chay-Chay-Chaaaynge U.S. Tour (in my head, OB always has backup singers) were available today from 10 – 12. Around 11, I figured I’d give it a shot and see if any were left — seeing a possible presidential candidate, and an historic one at that, doesn’t happen every day — so MP and I made a trip into town.

Turns out tix WERE available, however, the most excellent FREE kind were sold out. There were, however, plenty of the volunteer two hours and make 150 calls in a room with “SUPER nice” people and THEN get your tix kind left. And when Obama’s perky 20-something gold-star volunteer asked me if I was an Obama supporter, I answered “Why yes! Yes I am!” which sounded so much better than, “No, I’m still 100% undecided about this entire race, and really only interested in FREE stuff.”

And then I gave her my name and address, because somehow I thought that would protect me from those “SUPER nice” people making calls, when in fact, it will more than likely just INCREASE my chances of being harrassed.

I admit it. With a line of people behind me patiently waiting their turn, I panicked. So I asked if MP could have a sticker. If my SUPER CONSERVATIVE WITHOUT KNOWING WHY brother lived here it would SO be going on his bumper. And if Grammy and Poppy didn’t read this blog, I would be outside right this instant, plastering their truck and recording the moment for posterity.

Instead, I’ve decided the stickers are most definitely going on my ultra right wing boss’s car. I may even videotape it, post it, risk exposure, and see how fast I can get my ass fired. (Why helluuu 11-year-old boy. Nice to see you.) Which would leave me free to blog ALL DAY, EVERY DAY (yay!) sinking deep into abject poverty (boo.).

Sounded great until the whole no money thing.

I’m SO doing it.

So back to Obamatown. Alas, no tix, but we left with our stickers, went directly next door to my favorite shoe store and purchased the most adorable pair of Keens for MP. For what I paid (gulp), these will easily be her one and only pair of shoes this summer, but they were so darn cute I couldn’t stop myself.

AND, now we match. Aww.