Tag Archives: movies

Wiping noses and drool(ing over the vamps).

So the Board of Directors Retreat? Missed it. Yep. Woke up early Thursday morning to a very sick MP. After finally getting her coughing under control with the nebulizer, I was debating whether to go. And then she threw up. There was no way, in good conscious, I could spend the night an hour away. I THINK Conservaboss was cool with it … we’ll see Monday.

It’s now Friday night and she’s sleeping soundly, bouncing back already. I had a feeling this one was coming. Bobo’s had the Crud for a week; and last weekend MP and I hung out with my old friend Cannonball and her kids, who had it too. One way or another, she was gettin’ it.

The Cannonball Family was back in town for a visit — staying at her parents’ ranch on the other side of the mountains. MP and I drove up for the afternoon.

While Mr. Cannonball was out hunting with Grandpa Cannonball, she and I sat in her kitchen, drinking wine, woodstove blazing in the middle of the day, while our kids played.

I don’t even know how we got on the subject.

CB: This is gonna sound weird. There’s this book I’ve been reading …

ME: Mm hmm …

CB: You’d totally love it. It’s about vampires, and the guy …

ME: OMG! TWILIGHT?!?

CB: YES!!!

ME: Edward Cullen?!?

CB: OMG, YES!

ME: Hot.

CB: Uh, YEAH …

ME: I’m already on book three!

CB: I’m on book four!

(pause)

CB: What is WRONG with us?

ME: Edward is HOT.

CB: Um, YEAH …

ME: And Jacob? With the werewolf thing goin’ on?

CB: I KNOW!

(pause)

ME: We got issues.

CB: Totally.

So, for the uninitiated, the Twilight Series is a four-volume set of vampire books. Written for TEENAGERS. (Aaaand, it just gets more pathetic.) Chances are, you’ve heard of it, especially now that the movie’s coming out Nov. 21.

Oh yeah. CB had a People Magazine she’d picked up at the airport. We found a photo of the actor who’ll be playing hottie teenage vamp Edward Cullin. Which didn’t help things.

ec

O.M.G.

We are sick, sick, mommies.

Image borrowed from this chick.

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Filed under Piece of Pop Culture

The Bobo Conversations: Absent-minded Dirtbag

Today, 11:54 a.m. | Phone call @ work

Me: Hey.

Bobo: Hey. Uhhh, (chuckle) I forgot why I called you.

Me: Ummm … about your laundry?

Bobo: No.

Me: The storage unit?

Bobo: No.

Me: The gallery opening?

Bobo: No.

Me: Ummm …

Bobo: Oh, incidentally, I need to talk to you about your portfolio … I was talking to Jim Riv …

Me: Mmm hmm. Dad. Was that what you called about?

Bobo: Noooo …

(silence)

Bobo: Damn.

Me: (multi-tasking) Are you coming over for Grandfather’s Day?

Bobo: Oh, sure … when is it?

Me: Uh, Sunday I think. (looks at calendar) Yeah, Sunday.

Bobo: Okay, we’ll get a couple ribeyes.

Me: Sounds great.

Bobo: I’ll pick up that movie, Dirtbags

Me: Dirtbags?

Bobo: Dirtbags, Dirt Bucket … oh, you know …

(pause)

(pause)

Me: The BUCKET List??

Bobo: Yeah, The Bucket List.

Me: Nice.

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My therapist is a Chick Flick. She earns every dollar.

This weekend I watched the movie P.S. I Love You. If you haven’t seen it, (and I think I can safely say this without giving anything away) it’s about a woman who loses her husband to a brain tumor. I bawled the ENTIRE movie. Literally. There might have been short 10 – 15 minute reprieves scattered throughout, but for the most part, I nearly drowned in my tears. And by the time it was over, seeing through stinging eyelids that had swelled to the size of golf balls proved quite the accomplishment. With every thought, the pounding headache I felt only intensified.

I knew the storyline was going to hit close to home. Granted, the man in MY storyline, the man I loved, was my ex. And we were never married. And although he was sick, it was his failing liver and not a brain tumor that ultimately did him in. Nevertheless …

By the time I crawled into bed, my spent body huddled under the covers, I realized that although I’ve always been a sucker for sappy movies — even terribly bad ones — I now watch them for reasons very different than those of just a few years ago.

I watch them to cry. Because I don’t do much of that otherwise. I graduated from the School of Suck it Up a long, long time ago. Which serves me well as a single parent. Holding it together is crucial for our survival.

If I don’t, who will?

But if I’m honest I have to admit sometimes I need a break. Sometimes I want to, need to, scream my lungs out. Because I’m still angry at my ex for leaving. For dying. For leaving his daughter fatherless. I want to slap him and punch him and embrace him forever, all at once.

So I watch the movies to confront my sadness. To allow me to FEEL the pain. No matter how messed up the end of our relationship was, I miss him. And I have to honor that reality.

I watch them to heal. And to renew my faith that love CAN persevere. That magic can still happen. And to spark a longing that signals maybe, someday, I’ll be ready for it again. And maybe it’ll find me once more.

Maybe.

In the meantime, I’ll continue my weekend love affair with Blockbuster. And Advil. And lots and lots of tissue.

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Filed under A Little Piece of My Heart

The big day. She’s a comin’.

Just two more days until the big Sex and the City movie premiere! Squeee! (My new favorite expression.)

Unfortunately, I’m not as lucky or famous as Amy in Ohio who gets to see a sneak peek tonight. She even made her local paper for being a “Sex” Addict. Color me green with envy.

And then there’s McMommy, who has her own virtual ensemble for the event, hand selected by her own virtual stylist, The Preppy Princess.

I can’t do much about the advance tix. But I CAN give you a shot at a virtual SATC makeover, complete with new outfit and body to match. Allow moi to be your stylist for the day.

If you haven’t left a comment on the poll (See that thing up in the right hand corner?) git your butts over there and tell me which one of the gals you’re most like.

So far, there are a lot of Charlotte’s in Bloggywood. Here are the numbers to date:

32% of you are Charlotte
25% of you are Miranda
21% of you are Carrie
8% of you are Samantha
2% of you are Mr. Big
2% of you are Smith
If you’re single, male and straight, call me.

And, drumrole please …

11% of you have NO idea who these people are. You have been living under a rock.

That’s okay. Rocks are good places sometimes. Quiet.

What are the rest of you waitin’ for??!? Leave a comment on the poll!! Four of you will have your lovely faces superimposed on those —> bodies. If that isn’t reason enough, I don’t know what it.

 

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Filed under Piece of Pop Culture

Shake Your Baby Maker

How’s this for hours of wholesome fun?

The Baby Mama movie site has a Baby Maker. And instead of cookin’ for nine months, this one only takes nine seconds. Pair that with one Bona Fide Gimmick Sucker, yours truly, and you’ll see endless Mommypie hours magically vanish.

I came up with a few options in my quest for the perfect virtual baby.

Musical talent is a desirable trait, yes? I picked the guy from Flight of the Conchords as my first choice Virtual Sperminator. I find him oddly attractive. (Love that accent.) And oddly funny.

Our child, however, is just .. odd.

With that black and blueness, it looks like our little band geek is already well on his way to regularly getting his arse kicked.

Moving on to choice two.

What red-blooded woman can resist the bad boy? Not only does Lazy Town‘s Robbie Rotten have the whole exotic Icelandic thing goin’ on, he’s the baddest of the bad. And so nimble.

And together we have created Leatherface.

Choice number three. David Duchovny. Because he’s hot, he’s talented, he’s funny, he’s sarcastic. He’s Mulder.

Did I mention he’s hot?

And our virtual child?

The poor kid looks like a frostbitten Revolutionary soldier straight from the pages of a Time Life book. Let’s hope he’s funny.

Clearly there’s one choice left.

Mommypie luvs Bossy.

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The Poll, The Poll!

Look! Look! Up there — in the right hand corner!

You have no idea how proud of myself I am! After nearly going insane, I was able to backdoor the completely jacked-up WordPress system and figure out a way to make my very own poll! Yippee!

So here’s the deal … you take the poll, then leave a comment on the poll site, telling me what SITC character you’re like (make sure to leave your URL), and I’ll randomly pick a few people to transform through the magic of Photoshop. My gift to you. Just think of the fabulous screen saver it’ll make! (Personally, I’m diggin’ myself with long Carrie hair …)

Don’t worry if you already took it yesterday — go ahead and do it again! I’ll leave the button up all month, and then display the results, along with the new blogalicious cast, May 30.

I’m so excited, I think I peed a little.

I’m even thinking I’ll give it a shot with a new and different cast each month!

Yeah, I know. I so need to get out more.

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Sex in the City Countdown!

Ms. Single Mama alerted me to the news that the Sex in the City movie is coming out MAY 30!

Color me HAPPY HAPPY HAPPY!

The trailer gives a lot away, but after doing a little research, I’ve learned a small detail you may or may not have heard about. Someone dies. What?!? My money’s on Big. (Which, sadly, would be eerily similar to my life …)

I’ve wanted to try out a poll widget and thought this would be as good a topic as any to give her a test run. I REALLY wanted to place it over in the sidebar to run all month, but am quickly finding out WordPress sucks widgety eggs.

So, after HOURS of hair-pulling, I’ve learned that for the time being, all I can do is incorporate a lame link:

Yippee! The Sex in the City movie opens MAY 30! What character is most like you?
( surveys)

In the meantime, just in case the poll DOESN’T work, which is entirely possible, leave a comment as well so we can all revel in the return of the ladies!

If you need a character refresher, you can check out HBO’s cast page. And since I’m all about equal opportunity, I included some of the SITC men in the poll, if you happen to not be a member of the fairer sex. (Or, if you are a member of the fairer sex, but identify more with one of the dudes.)

What character most closely resembles you? If you were a character from Sex in the City, which one would you be?

(In case you missed the link the first time, here it is again. C’mon, take the poll. Everyone’s doing it …)

Yippee! The Sex in the City movie opens MAY 30! What character is most like you?
( surveys)

As for me, I’d have to say Carrie (Ahem. Hellooo, she IS the star.), with a little Samantha for good measure.

I’m fairly certain they don’t enjoy the GPs as much as I do though …

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Single With Cheese, Please

I just watched The Holiday for what has to be the … eighth? … time. I’m a complete SUCKER for chick flicks. My BFF Tea and I have a theory that our perpetual state of singleness is due in part to chick flicks. She’s living in Chile right now, on a 13-month teaching stint, but when we were in the same town, we’d hit all the new CFs as soon as they came out. And whenever we’d rent movies, nine times out of 10, it would be a love story. We’ve been doing it since we were 14.

Each time, we’d walk away on a ridiculous high, no matter how inane or poorly acted the show. And each time, we’d look at each other and have the same conversation. No WONDER we have such unrealistic expectations. How could anyone compete?

At this stage in the game (less than two weeks and counting ’til Mommypie turns 40 – yikes!), I have to admit … unless I meet someone who absolutely makes me see stars — makes me go ZAZA ZOO (to inject a Sex in the Cityism) — there’s not much of a point. Especially with a child to consider. I refuse to be in it just to be in it.

But give me a good love story, and I’m all over it. The cheesier the better. (So much for those six years of film school.) In those two hours, I DO want to be in it. In those two hours, I AM in it.

Escapism. It’s one of my favorite things …

1. Valley Girl. I love it when opposites attract.

2. The Holiday. The Jude Law character? That would be me. Minus the chest hair and plus a few inches. (In HEIGHT, people.)

3. Bridget Jones’s Diary. You may remember my Ode to Granny Panties. I don’t know why, but I totally identify with BJ. Er, the character.

4. Because I Said So. The single dad musician. LOVE him. Where are guys like THIS?

5. Under The Tuscan Sun. Tea bought this for me when I was eight months pregnant and had just purchased my first house. I related to this movie in so many ways. The first night in my new home, we had a sleepover and stayed up late watching it. I remember overwhelming feelings of gratitude for the company.

6. Love Actually. Remember the kid in the nativity octopus costume wedged in the car between Hugh Grant and his love interest? The scene only lasts a minute, but I literally snort every time I see it.

7. The Sweetest Thing. Maybe it’s just me, but this Cameron Diaz flick is one of the raunchiest, most hilarious movies ever. I just about pee my pants every time it gets to the glory hole scene. (Yep, you heard me right. Glory Hole Scene. If you don’t know what that means, you’re gonna have to look it up, ’cause I ain’t tellin’ ya.)

8. Titanic. Doy.

9. The Notebook. Double doy.

10. Same Time Next Year. My all-time favorite. Shot in the 70s, this oldie but goodie stars Alan Alda and Ellen Burstyn. Hands down, the most romantic love story I’ve seen. It kills me every time.

So there you go. Mommypie’s quick luv fix. I’ve laid out a whole two and a half months worth of Saturday nights for all you fellow hopeless and easily amused romantics.

Now, what are your favorite chick flicks? I’m always game for something new … not that there aren’t already plenty of exceedingly high expectations to go around.

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A Liver Runs Through It

In the spirit of St. Patty’s Day …

Actual correspondence received in my office last month.

postcard.jpg

A Liver Runs Through It. The heartwarming story of a boy and his organ.

Badabump.

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Filed under Piecing it Together

HBO, My Standing Date

Saturday night. Four words.

Snakes On A Plane.

Yeah Baby. Don’t ever say this single mama doesn’t know how to have a good time.

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Filed under Piecemeal