Tag Archives: kid

Driving Miss MaggiePie

MP LOVES maps. LOVES. She has a collection from different towns; different states even. She loves to see exactly where we’re going. This cartographic gene clearly comes from her father, who shared the same fascination. I, on the other hand, couldn’t find my hand in front of my face on a clear day.

So, I have to admit, I’m impressed.

Lately, however, I can’t shake the feeling I’m in the car with my dad, who’s famous for his … er … very specific directions. (Which, in case you missed it, is my attempt at subtlety. It just sounds nicer than [holy-hell-zip-it-up-I-know-how-to-drive] Backseat Driver.)

To illustrate my point, here was the view from the driver’s seat today, taken with my camera phone.

rearview1.jpg

Today’s conversation went a little like this:

MP: Now, where is the post office? (Very serious.)

Me: Just up ahead. Better hurry and finish your snack.

rearview2.jpg

MP: I see two taffit lights on da map. (Pointing to the window) There’s one! There’s one!

Me: Yep.

MP: Mommy, you need to turn RIGHT. The map says to go RIGHT.

Me: This is a shortcut.

MP: What’s a shortcut?

Me: It’s the fastest way to get somewhere. It’s quicker.

MP: Hmmm … I don’t see that on da map …

Me: We’re almost there.

MP: Where’s da udder traffit light?

Me: I don’t think there is another traffic light.

MP: It’s on the map.

Me: See, the post office is right there.

(pause)

MP: Why is it called a ‘post’ office?

Me: Uh … Because that’s where people go to post their mail. ‘Post’ means ‘mail.’

MP: Huh?

Me: Means ‘send.’

MP: Can I bring my map into the post office?

Okay, so it’s not as annoying as my dad.

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Filed under Piece of Information

The Mommy Switch

mommytag.jpgAs of a few days ago, instead of emulating her mommy with a little ‘Newman’ (my Seinfeld swear word sub, which, coming out of a preschooler is Comedy Central) MP has decided she wants to say ‘Human’ instead.

I cannnot tell you how it lightens my day (I’m thinking about it right now) to visualize her playing cards, flipping over Old Maid, shaking her fist and muttering, “HUUman!”

It’s actually what prompted me to log on and blog in the middle of my workday. So, to ensure I’m still gainfully employed in the morning, I’ll be brief ….

It’s little things like ‘Human’ that just … get me. For instance, there’s just one night a month I schedule to go out (in case you were wondering, I have zero social life) – it’s a regular business thing (now you REALLY feel sorry for me). A cocktaily networking thing. Which is usually a nice diversion, but I’m wearing a nametag, and it’s still work. Tonight’s that night.

Most times I’m able to turn off the Mommy Switch, and relax for a few hours. Drinks, appetizers, adults I like – I should be in Heaven. But inevitably, after an hour or two, I’ll find myself in a sea of people, listening to someone blah-bu-blah-blah-blah … and the switch is tripped. I think about the little things. And I just want to be home.

Do I hear a ‘Human?’

Can I get a little ‘Human’ here?

Vote for my post The Mommy Switch on Mom Blog Network

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Filed under Piece of Pop Culture

The Worts Pies in the World

Someone Googled this today and found me.

Whatever works.

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Filed under Piecemeal