Doogs Weekend #11: First Celebricrush

I vividly remember my first crushes. They were tall, dark, handsome and larger than life. I was in the single digits. They were at least four times my age.

Gene Kelly. Handsome, witty, snappy dresser AND a dance MANIAC. Singing? IN the rain?!? Helluu six-year-old dream man.

Dick van Dyke. Cute, goofy, and again with the dancing. What six-year-old WOULDN’T be smitten?

Clint Eastwood. Sexy, cool, and all-around Badass. ‘Nuff said.

To this day, I still love them all.

Your turn. Spill — who was YOUR first celebricrush?

Stupid choices and dumb luck.

Look at this little douche.

He’s SMILING. It’s after 3 a.m. Saturday morning. He’s just been in a major collision. He’s flipped his truck after allegedly making a left turn in front of an oncoming car. According to sources, he’s being charged with misdemeanor DUI. Misdemeanor, because his female passenger and the driver of the other car miraculously suffered only minor bumps and bruises. Because it wasn’t THAT bad.

And he’s SMILING.

Shia LaBeouf, I like you. But I swear to God, given the opportunity right now, I’d smack that grin right off your stupid ass face. Because you’re an idiot.

I know of what I speak. My father’s had two DUIs. One when I was a kid; the other when I was in high school. My brother’s had one. I was LIVID with each of them. SO incredibly pissed off.

I was hit by a drunk driver in college, as a friend and I drove to the movies. One minute things were fine, the next, the back seat of my ’76 Honda Civic no longer existed. Had the collision taken place a split second earlier, the outcome would have, most likely, been very different.

And yet, with all that history, I’m ashamed to admit, back in the day, I myself got behind the wheel WAY too many times when I absolutely shouldn’t have. I have a hard time thinking about what could have happened.

But now, as a mother, I imagine my MP riding shotgun beside a boy like Shia some day. Or worse, doing exactly as I did, driving a little loaded and not giving it a second thought. And I’m livid once more.

The outrage I feel when I look at that stupid smirking mug shot is multiplied by the recognition of my own youthful stupidity. Because if I’m being judgmental — and I am — understand that first and foremost, I’m judging my past self. I’m owning the idiocy. I’m admitting a complete and utter disregard for the safety of myself, or more importantly others, that could have so easily turned tragic.

I think of all the others that will make equally stupid choices and am compelled to pray for the safety of my child.

And I’m pissed.

Image borrowed from these guys.

Wait … Will Smith is BLACK?!?

Match Will Smith’s head to his beach body.

Um … I guess … A.

No, no … E.

Crapper. H. It has to be H.

I’m having a little trouble.

It’s not like HE’S THE ONLY BLACK GUY IN A SEA OF WHITE GUYS.

US Magazine, you know I love ya, Babe.

But YOU are RI.DI.CU.LOUS.

Wrong Cathouse, Hef

MOOOOMMM!!

Mr. Hefner’s back.

What does he want now?

He’s looking for Paris.

He’s got the wrong cathouse. Tell him she left awhile ago.

Okay, but he doesn’t look so good. He’s kinda OLD.

I know, Honey. Just send him on his way. The cathouse he’s looking for is much bigger.

What about the three ladies holding him up?

Them too.

Wrong Cathouse, Paris

MOOOOMMM!

Paris Hilton’s BAAACCK!

Honey, just tell her to go home.

She won’t LEAVE and she smells like cough syrup.

Just explain she’s at the wrong house again.

I TRIED! She just keeps saying, “that’s hot.”

(pause)

Uh, Mommy? Mrs. Cat doesn’t look very happy …

Sex in the City Countdown!

Ms. Single Mama alerted me to the news that the Sex in the City movie is coming out MAY 30!

Color me HAPPY HAPPY HAPPY!

The trailer gives a lot away, but after doing a little research, I’ve learned a small detail you may or may not have heard about. Someone dies. What?!? My money’s on Big. (Which, sadly, would be eerily similar to my life …)

I’ve wanted to try out a poll widget and thought this would be as good a topic as any to give her a test run. I REALLY wanted to place it over in the sidebar to run all month, but am quickly finding out WordPress sucks widgety eggs.

So, after HOURS of hair-pulling, I’ve learned that for the time being, all I can do is incorporate a lame link:

Yippee! The Sex in the City movie opens MAY 30! What character is most like you?
( surveys)

In the meantime, just in case the poll DOESN’T work, which is entirely possible, leave a comment as well so we can all revel in the return of the ladies!

If you need a character refresher, you can check out HBO’s cast page. And since I’m all about equal opportunity, I included some of the SITC men in the poll, if you happen to not be a member of the fairer sex. (Or, if you are a member of the fairer sex, but identify more with one of the dudes.)

What character most closely resembles you? If you were a character from Sex in the City, which one would you be?

(In case you missed the link the first time, here it is again. C’mon, take the poll. Everyone’s doing it …)

Yippee! The Sex in the City movie opens MAY 30! What character is most like you?
( surveys)

As for me, I’d have to say Carrie (Ahem. Hellooo, she IS the star.), with a little Samantha for good measure.

I’m fairly certain they don’t enjoy the GPs as much as I do though …

It’s Late. Watching Conan. Not Carson.

Bjork is a space alien.

‘Nuff said.

And, tell me please, how is Carson Daly STILL on the air? Inquiring minds want to know.

Image borrowed from these guys.

Holy Bladder Control Issue

This TOTALLY made my week.

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