Category Archives: Missing Piece

I would show you an actual photo but it might gross you out.

Twenty-four hours ago I would not have foreseen a day spent between the dentist and a root canal specialist. Or copious amounts of drool.

There was this molar, see? And it hurt for awhile. Nothing huge, just a twinge here and there. Then yesterday, faster than you can say “Who put the freakin’ midgets in my mouth and why are they stabbing me?” the twinge turned into full-on, raw nerve, shooting pain.

Today, after an emergency visit to the dentist, I was told I had a “catastrophic injury” and chances were one of two things would happen.

A) Root canal

B) Tooth extraction

So, I did the normal thing. Met Bobo for a “farewell tooth” bowl of soup at a local restaurant, commiserated about the outlandish cost of dental care, and prepared myself for an unexpected hillbilly makeover. And after paying for lunch with a wad of ones that REEKED like the lining of an old lady’s purse … or maybe a stripper’s g-string … (True story. The bills had been stinking up my wallet since I received them as change for MP’s Happy Meal earlier in the week.) I headed to the root canal specialist, Deliverance banjos and all.

Hours later? A partial extraction, but no root canal. Next up? Gum surgery and a crown. But I get to keep the tooth, and I’m happier than even those aforementioned stripper bills.

In the meantime, Grammypie’s trying to get me to take the Oxy left over from one of HER dental surgeries. She thinks it’s just like really awesome Advil.

Okay, Rush.


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The Bobo Conversations: Absent-minded Dirtbag

Today, 11:54 a.m. | Phone call @ work

Me: Hey.

Bobo: Hey. Uhhh, (chuckle) I forgot why I called you.

Me: Ummm … about your laundry?

Bobo: No.

Me: The storage unit?

Bobo: No.

Me: The gallery opening?

Bobo: No.

Me: Ummm …

Bobo: Oh, incidentally, I need to talk to you about your portfolio … I was talking to Jim Riv …

Me: Mmm hmm. Dad. Was that what you called about?

Bobo: Noooo …


Bobo: Damn.

Me: (multi-tasking) Are you coming over for Grandfather’s Day?

Bobo: Oh, sure … when is it?

Me: Uh, Sunday I think. (looks at calendar) Yeah, Sunday.

Bobo: Okay, we’ll get a couple ribeyes.

Me: Sounds great.

Bobo: I’ll pick up that movie, Dirtbags

Me: Dirtbags?

Bobo: Dirtbags, Dirt Bucket … oh, you know …



Me: The BUCKET List??

Bobo: Yeah, The Bucket List.

Me: Nice.


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Love Lost (and Found)

12:35 a.m.
There’s going to be MAJOR DRAMA in about seven hours if I can’t find MP’s Disney Princess and Monsters Inc. valentines. God only knows where that kid stashed them …

1:29 a.m.
Valentines located. Found stuffed in two blank envelopes. Now please excuse me while I write “To My Friend, From MP” 32 times, brush my teeth, and collapse.

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Filed under Missing Piece