Category Archives: Holiday Piece

What the Easter Bunny does when it snows.

The day before Easter, it snowed. All day.

Traditionally, the egg hunt is always chilly … snow, however, is a different (and new) issue altogether. So when MP started asking — with more than a touch of concern — how the Easter Bunny would hide eggs, my answer was, he just hid ’em in the house. Like Santa.

By late afternoon the snow stopped, and began to melt fairly rapidly. Together, MP and I  checked the forecast online. It didn’t look good. We did the only thing we could do — we played it by ear, and held out hope that Mama Nature would cooperate.

By nightfall, MP was tucked in all snug in her bed, while visions of jelly beans danced in her head.

By 10:30, although a quick check proved most of the snow had melted, the forecast predicted a high of 23 degrees at 9 a.m. A high of 23 … but it would feel like 15. It was clear that Peter Rabbit would be making the rounds INDOORS this year.

It didn’t seem to matter to MP. An egg hunt was an egg hunt. And when she got his message painted on a plastic egg, bright and early at 6:00 a.m. (ugh) … it was on.

And then I remembered the eggs.

The eggs that had so carefully been colored two nights before.

The eggs that were still sitting IN THE REFRIGERATOR.

My heart sank. A quick and sickening wave of panic came over me and settled in the pit of my stomach.

It’s really not as bad as it sounds … there were 25 PLASTIC eggs filled with candy hidden around the house. But I had promised MP I wouldn’t forget to leave the real eggs out. And I did.

About 10 minutes into the hunt, I told her the news. She took it well. She took it incredibly well, and reassured me it was okay … they would’ve gone bad and gotten stinky if we’d left them out all night anyway. (Have I said how much I love this kid?) I said if it warmed up, we could have our own outdoor hunt with the real eggs later.

As luck would have it, Mama Nature showed us a little smile, and, later that afternoon, while MP waited inside Grammy and Poppy’s house, I hid two dozen REAL eggs around the property.

Since this year was all about improvisation, I thought I’d try something new. Instead of a straight up, regular old egg hunt, I took photos of the egg locations, printed them out, and handed them to MP as clues.

She said it was better than the Easter Bunny.

And quickly changed her mind.

But said it WAS pretty great.

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Tracking the elusive Thanksgiving Turkeypie.

Happy Thanksgiving, Doogs!

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I had no idea the Bible included fairies.

This Easter was a first. I took MP to church.

The morning was spent hunting for eggs … 63 to be exact. Sixty-three eggs means a LOT of photos. By my best estimation, MP had had enough of the camera and “Show me the egg!” around number 38.

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An hour later, after each and every egg had been accounted for, we put on our best duds and raced into church — something, admittedly, I haven’t done … uh … in awhile. I think the last time I went was MP’s baptism at eight months, and that was in a different town altogether. Bad Mommy. At any rate, MP was crazy excited to dress up and go to Easter Services …

Which lasted about 10 minutes into the sermon. Much to the amusement of the parishioners seated behind us, MP occupied herself by practicing curtsies and bows in the aisle until a woman in the back delivered a Jesus Coloring Book and crayons. MP colored everyone purple and gave them green hair. Very Easter-y, if I do say so myself.

When she tired of that, she busied herself “reading” the Bible. Aloud. Dueteronomy. I had a hard time containing myself. Did you know Dueteronomy is all about fairies? I had no idea.

At one point, the priest was singing praise to God, and encouraging everyone to join in. Elderly people starting clapping, snapping, ringing bells and SHAKING KEYS. Yes, shaky old people shaking keys. Which, aside from those 20/20 reports highlighting people speaking in tongues, rolling on the floor and handling poisonous snakes, was just the weirdest thing I’d seen in church, EVER.

For a split second, MP freaked out. Covering her ears, she looked up and me, and with panic in her voice, asked what the noise was. I picked her up so she could see better.

“Um, that’s just people ringing bells,” I said.

“And … shaking KEYS?” she said. We looked at each other and cracked up. We decided God must be hard of hearing.

I thought we were going to get through it until she heard “Holy Spirit” and about crapped a brick.

Now she thinks God is a ghost.

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Bob the Egg.

Early last night, as is custom, MP and I dyed Easter eggs at Grammy’s.

Grammy got creative with her eggs, using paper towels and Pam Cooking Spray to achieve a sophisticated mottled effect. She’s so Martha.

I gave the tie dye technique a try. Apparently I’m more Woody Harrelson.

And MP, she named her eggs. Sam, Kamber, Taylor, Wyatt.

I kinda liked Vann. He was hot. For an egg.

MP preferred Bob.

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Just because JESUS sasses his mother doesn’t mean YOU can.

Started putting away the Christmas decorations yesterday. MP was in charge of the nativity scene.

With great ceremony, each wooden figurine was carefully placed in its box. I watched the parting scene as she grasped Baby Jesus in one small hand, and Mary in the other.

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Right Hand: Don’t you give me that attitude, Jesus!

Left Hand: Don’t YOU give ME that attitude, Mary!

Right Hand: Go to your room, Jesus!

And then the Three Wise Men swooped in, picked up Mary and hauled her off to the dungeon.

Behold the power of the Lord.

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Snowed in on Christmas Eve and the anticipation is painful.

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MP: (Back of hand to forehead, high drama whine) It feels like I’m getting KILLED inside of me.

ME: Why?

MP: Because I can’t open any presents. (falls forward onto couch) I can’t WAAAIT!

I told her the wait would be worth it. And it was. Santa’s Fur Real Kitty turned out to be a HYUGE hit. Although if it stops meowing or moving for more than five minutes, MP is sent into full-on panic. Eyes welling, lip quivering, she’ll ask, “Is she dead?” It’s enough to break my heart.

The Hannah Montana Styling Head was another Santa coup. And the ginormous dollhouse Grammy and I stayed up assembling until 3 a.m.? The look on MP’s face as she walked out to the living room four hours later was well worth any lost sleep on my part.

Speaking of notable moments … MP’s expression of sheer joy just barely topped Grammy’s reaction when she opened her As Seen On TV gift from Yours Truly — SHAMWOW! Oh, you have no idea how hard it was to bite my tongue after reading your comments in the last post …

As for me, I loved the packaging of this gift from Grammy almost as much as the cherished heirloom leaf bowls that were inside.

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Hey, Grammy has a sense of humor! Who knew?

P.S. Without getting too pimptastic, I gotta give a BIG shout out to the Ear Check peeps. They sent me their AWESOME product to review and I seriously can’t wait to test it out. Which is kinda wrong, seeing as it would mean someone in the Pie House would have to be, um … SICK. Seriously, though, this is a fantastic gift for not only a medically obsessed person like me, but ANY parent. Now, when I suspect MP may have an ear infection, I actually have an instrument at my disposal that will allow me to measure her inner ear’s fluid level and and the likelihood of it being an infection. Do me a favor — show the Ear Check people some love, visit their site and check out their great product. I promise to post a follow up as soon as we get sick again – ha!

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I never claimed to be Martha Stewart.

Last night, Grammy, MP and I made Christmas cookies — the sugar crash came fast and hard, and after a minor meltdown, MP was out cold. Christmas can’t come soon enough for that kid — every morning she wakes, crosses off another day on the calendar, and literally jumps for joy that we’re another day closer to SANTA!! I love, love LOVE experiencing the holidays through her eyes.

Which reminds me … if you haven’t seen the NORAD Tracks Santa site, go check it out. NORAD counts down until Santa takes off around the world and then “tracks” him. We’ve tracked Santa the last two years — not only does it help kids with the concept of other countries/states/time zones, etc., all you Internet addicted mamas will totally dig it. AND, while the kids are waiting for Christmas Eve to roll around, the site has some super cute (and somewhat educational) online Christmas games — MP gives ’em two giant thumbs up.

So, until the big night Wednesday, we’ll be saving a few select cookies for the Man.

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Question is, WHICH ONES?!?

Grammy’s accidental Patrick (Spongebob’s sidekick) IS impressive, but I’m thinkin’ my entirely deliberate Snow Monster blows him outta the water. Especially after MP added the blue M&M bellybutton.

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