I would show you an actual photo but it might gross you out.

Twenty-four hours ago I would not have foreseen a day spent between the dentist and a root canal specialist. Or copious amounts of drool.

There was this molar, see? And it hurt for awhile. Nothing huge, just a twinge here and there. Then yesterday, faster than you can say “Who put the freakin’ midgets in my mouth and why are they stabbing me?” the twinge turned into full-on, raw nerve, shooting pain.

Today, after an emergency visit to the dentist, I was told I had a “catastrophic injury” and chances were one of two things would happen.

A) Root canal

B) Tooth extraction

So, I did the normal thing. Met Bobo for a “farewell tooth” bowl of soup at a local restaurant, commiserated about the outlandish cost of dental care, and prepared myself for an unexpected hillbilly makeover. And after paying for lunch with a wad of ones that REEKED like the lining of an old lady’s purse … or maybe a stripper’s g-string … (True story. The bills had been stinking up my wallet since I received them as change for MP’s Happy Meal earlier in the week.) I headed to the root canal specialist, Deliverance banjos and all.

Hours later? A partial extraction, but no root canal. Next up? Gum surgery and a crown. But I get to keep the tooth, and I’m happier than even those aforementioned stripper bills.

In the meantime, Grammypie’s trying to get me to take the Oxy left over from one of HER dental surgeries. She thinks it’s just like really awesome Advil.

Okay, Rush.


Filed under Missing Piece

10 responses to “I would show you an actual photo but it might gross you out.

  1. I can smell those bills from here. Are you SURE you’re not a stripper? Maybe a high-priced barrista? Feel better, MP.

  2. This is my story a few months ago. And I was all “extract my tooth?” what am I a Walmart shopper with my kid in diapers?

    But luckily (she says very sarcastically) I got the root canal and crown.

    Getting old is one frickin party after another.
    Where’s the cake?

    • Yeah, I’m *told* it’s an age thing, once you hit 40. When the dentist said there was a good chance I’d have to have it pulled I FREAKED. OUT.

      I always assumed when someone was missing a tooth, it rotted out of their head or something. Not THIS!!

  3. I’ve got you beat. Last week, I fainted, fell face first on the pavement, ripped my chin open and cracked four teeth. The bill to fix my teeth? $2,500.00. And I don’t have dental insurance.

    • OOOOHHH NOOOO! That totally gave me the shivers, Doog.

      I feel ya on the no dental insurance — I’m in the same boat … I’m into this stupid ONE tooth for $1,500.

      Hope you’re doing better …

  4. Joie

    It’s like really awesome advil! Love it. I hope you feel better soon, I’ve got my own hillbilly partial molar and I know how horrible that pain is when it just hits you.

  5. Were the smelly bills moist? (I know you love that word.)

    If so, I have a few theories about the smell.

  6. Um, can you say OUCH?

    (((huggies for your toofers)))

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