On the bright side, there’s no litter box.

Right now The Boy and I are trying to figure things out. Who goes where. And when. Big changes. For all of you who want to know details! details! details! here’s the plan to date.

Uh … I dunno.

The good news is we’re both on the same page.

So, MP and I are heading to Connecticut next week to stay for a month. There, I’m confident we’ll magically find the answer to all our questions, and come July there WILL be a plan. Rosie will be staying behind with Grammy and Poppy, because a round-trip DOG ticket costs as much now as a round-trip HUMAN ticket.

As for the other “pets,” I don’t know …

When I came back from my April visit, I brought back Sea Monkeys. (As far as MP knows, they’re the state animal.) Now they sit on the kitchen window sill — unbelievably, still alive — totally grossing me out. Contrary to the illustration on the box, they do NOT drive convertibles. The Boy says they’re brine shrimp. What ees this “Brine Shrimp” you speak of, Boy? Those floaty insect-things in that container full of dirty water? THIS is why I don’t do seafood. Shellfish. Nothin’ but BUGS. That hide under rocks. Yech.



MP’s added them to her list of pets. There’s Rosie (the dog), the jar of earthworms (which sat in a closed coffee tin in a hot bathroom for a week. Unbeknown to me, MP was adding water each day “so they had something to drink.” Eventually, the stench was so unbearable, I was convinced there was a massive issue with the septic system. I was two steps from calling a plumber when I discovered the can. I don’t think I’ll ever be able to eat chicken noodle soup again.), the two ladybugs in her bug house that I’m pretty sure are dead, and now the creepy Sea Monkeys.

Plus, she scored a caterpillar at the zoo the other day. It’s keeping the ladybugs company in the bug house. She took it to school for Show and Tell today. And she insists on sleeping with it at night. I’m crossing my fingers it starts cocooning before it suffers the same fate as its roommates.

I do have to admit, we’re BOTH looking forward to seeing our first lightning bugs. I suspect that somehow, by the end of the trip, a few will be coming home with us.

Dead or alive.



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7 responses to “On the bright side, there’s no litter box.

  1. I live in Utah, the birthplace of Sea Monkeys (brine shrimp). I desperately wanted some as a kid until my mother told me the stench that blows off the lake every spring is nothing but sea monkey rot…

    Way to kill my dreams.

  2. justmeandthevoices

    Ewww, those make me feel all creepy inside. But your description reminds me of the Fish Heads song. “They can’t play baseball, they don’t wear sweaters, they’re not good dancers, they don’t play drums. Fish heads, fish heads, roly-poly fish heads, fish heads, fish heads, eat them up yummm!”

  3. theboy

    I would never eat a monkey. (unless my plane crashed in the Andes and I was really hungry, in which case I would even eat you.) But dang if brine shrimp doesn’t sound delicious.

  4. Could you buy that kid a frickin DOLL or something…i dunno…NORMAL ? (and by normal I mean stereotypically sexist)….

    I am hopeful all the answers you both need will be magically revealled to you after your stay with The Boy.

    And come to think of it I am also hopeful you will have shrimp at the wedding.

    Just sayin.

  5. Those sea monkeys look DELICIOUS. We should make some Schwetty Sea Monkey Balls.

  6. I am 36 and still not over my disappointment with Sea Monkeys. I remember first seeing them in a magazine and asking my parents if we could get some (I had never had a pet before). Imagine my disappointment when they turned out to be just these disgusting little specks that would follow a light. Yay!


    Totally made the humidity and the long flights worth it. Well, just one tiny thing among many huge things that made the trip worth it — just like yours will be. Was. Sorry, what about schwetty sea monkey balls? I can’t concentrate.

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