A few nights ago, after excruciating efforts to find the absolute BEST deal out there, the Boy and I bought two plane tickets (Over $1,000 for two people?? Okay … what? Mmm hmm … bend over?). MP and I will be heading to Connecticut in a few weeks and staying for about a month. The goal, of course, being slow acclimation, and to see how MP reacts to it all.
I’m gonna be honest. I LOATHE humidity. And the ginormous bugs that go along with it. And helluuu Lyme Disease. But I do love the beach. So, I’m optimistic that between the three, it’ll be a wash.
I HAVE to see The Boy SOON though, because seriously? I’m counting every hour. Mama needs some lovin’. This weekend’s Facebook banter only made the wait all that more excruciating.
I give you Friday afternoon’s status update: Totally okay with the box of cookies I just ate. Because I bought an EXERCISE BALL today. (Four-square anyone?)
Innocent enough, until Beej got into the act and the ball talk started: I have two exercise balls, and I often eat cake while playing with my balls. I like the way my balls feel under me.
(I love that crazy beyotch.)
I, of course, had to push the envelope. I give you the NEXT status update: Telling you the dog’s licking the carpet, and opening it up for comments. I’m HANDING this one to you people. After the LAST status update’s comments, I know you have it in you.*
*That’s what she said.
Sadly, the participation in this one wasn’t as strong. Like, lead balloon. Cowards. The lot a ya.
The seed was planted though (ahem), and the rest of the weekend, any comment I thought to post had innuendo aaallll over it.
Rain is pouring through the cracks in the door and now the carpet is drenched. (Really happened.)
The back door, she’s gonna blow. (This? A little gross. I’m happy to report it didn’t happen.)
Playing tiddlywinks. (Really, truly. And I don’t know WHY this sounds dirty, it just does. Like code.)
Surfing the web wasn’t safe either.
Nice mugshot. You think she knows she has a vagina on her face?
See?!? The s*x. It’s EVERYWHERE.