God speaks.

I’m sitting in the livingroom, just outside the bathroom, where MP has been for awhile. She calls to me in her best deep voice.

MP: Hello? Mommypie? This is God speaking.

ME: Hi God.

MP: Your little daughter … has … peed … like … a … boy.

(Mommypie gets up and runs to the bathroom.)

ME: What?!? (scanning the area around the toilet) You didn’t. DID YOU?!?

MP: (smiling) I was just joking.

(Mommypie exhales and exits the bathroom.)

MP: That wasn’t God talking either.


Filed under Piecing it Together, Uncategorized

16 responses to “God speaks.

  1. Fyoo, so glad she clarified that.

  2. You should totally hire her out. No, hear me out; a “for instance” here: Let’s say that I’m having trouble herding the goats into bed (What? Never!) and then the phone rings, and it’s God, and God says “I TOLD you, ‘Honor thy mother and thy father’ – what part did you not understand?” Dude, I’d pay good money for a night with the goats going to bed and staying there. Like, college-fund good money. Think about it, ‘k?

  3. She is hilarious. Where do kids come up with this stuff?

  4. Nappy

    It’s the type of question I’ve learned not to ask – doesn’t mean I still don’t wonder how your little angle ‘knows how boys pee’?? 🙂

  5. I tried to “pee like a boy” when I was about 4 or 5. My mom wasn’t too pleased about it.

  6. MP: That wasn’t God talking either.

    That totally made me laugh out loud. At work.

  7. OMG MY LIFE IS JUST GOING TO GET WORSE. Right now, its a tantrums and “Mommy I have to pee!” to get me running in her direction. A 5-Year old just brings it to a whole new level.

  8. Pretty darn sure if God WAS going to speak to you – it would not be ‘your kid pees like a boy’….I think it would something way more profound like………………”Blogging is my gift to you, use it wisely”


  9. She’s hilarious!

    *sigh* What I wouldn’t give right now just for the Little Imp to pee in the potty. I think I’d rejoice if she did it like a boy…at least it wasn’t in a diaper! *lol*

  10. My kids are just now learning the concept of ‘jokes’

    I am afraid…daily.

  11. Next thing you know, she’ll be telling you she learned how to do the AC Slater. You know…flipping your chair around so you can sit on it backwards…only on the toilet…

  12. I’ve been lurking around your blog for a while now, quiet (which is really unusual for me), figuring my comment would just get lost in the 1,485 comments you get for every post ;), but I had to tell you, this one had me on the floor. That is one funny kid. And as everyone has been telling me since my funny kid was about 2, you’re in for it with that one, lady 🙂

  13. threeboys1mommy — No kidding. God Psych.

    Mrs. Waltz — Hey there’s a thought. Maybe she’ll be the next James Earl Jones of voiceovers …

    Renee & Nappy — Must be something she learned at preschool. (That’s my standard answer for a LOT of things …)

    MommaMary — I did too. The inside of my Keds weren’t too pleased about it.

    Wendy & Jackie — I have no idea where her twisted sense of humor comes from.

    pisceshanna — Oooh, Mama. Good times ahead.

    TGLA — My thought exactly. How much of a bummer would THAT be if the one and only time God spoke to you was to deliver a Pee Message?

    Auds — Oh, I feel your pain. Potty training sucks.

    Neena — MP’s just now getting the whole joke thing too. I blame Spongebob.

    QB — I have no idea what the flip you’re talkin’ about. You frighten me.

    Diane — YAY! I LOVE de-lurkers. De Lurkers. Get it?? Comments are NEVER lost, Doog. Seriously. They ALL make my day in a HUGE way! As for MP, I can only imagine her in high school … oy.

  14. Wow, she’s got a wicked sense of humor. I wonder where she gets it from…

  15. This is what I’m talking about…

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