Poppy does the Boot Scootin’ Boogie.

A few weeks ago, Poppy (my stepdad) received a special delivery.



Technically, it’s not an ACTUAL Rascal, I just can’t help calling it that.

RRRRRASCAL. *jazz hands*

Mobility scooters aren’t cheap. Because Medicare covers only a small portion of the cost, he and Grammy had nearly given up on ever owning one. Which meant, due to the nature of his Chronic Obstructive Pulmonary Disease, Poppy would remain (for the most part) housebound.

That all changed when they crossed paths with a empathetic pharmacist/medical equipment retailer who has a father in the same position. Thanks to good fortune and Grammy’s uncanny ability to charm anyone, this pharmacist surprised them with a nearly new scooter at virtually no charge. Seriously. Mind-blowingly cheap.

Put Poppy behind the wheel, and he’s a kid with a Big Wheel at Christmas.

I came into work last week and this was on my desk. QB had printed out the daily Police Reports — something for which our town is … kind of well known. You’ll see what I mean.


We’ve made it on Leno more than once. Well, the TOWN has. Not the Pie Family PERSONALLY. Although, back in college, I’m pretty sure my brother’s antics earned a mention or two.

And for the record, no, the Scooter DUI was not Poppy. Although I may have an idea who the half-bald woman was …

Now I’m inspired to start posting more reports for your weekly enjoyment. Okay, for MY weekly enjoyment.

Oh yeah. The scooter salesman is a single dad of a six-year-old daughter. Grammy totally tried to set us up. Which never ends well. But that’s a story for another post.


Filed under Piece of History

17 responses to “Poppy does the Boot Scootin’ Boogie.

  1. Nappy

    Sounds like a fun little town.

    For the more energetic elderly who are bored with shuffle board, maybe Rascal polo? Or a scooter rodeo?

  2. Scooter Rodeo. I’d so pay to see that.

  3. WOW! There really is a Santa out there! That was awsome what the gentelman did for your stepdad!

  4. Seriously. He was a true Christmas miracle.

  5. I think QB might be my long-lost sister. (You know, if I had one.) (A long-lost sister, not just a sister. I have sisters. Lots of them. Probably too many, actually.) (In fact, I can’t guarantee she’s NOT one of my sisters.) Cuz I would totally print out the police report and ask someone if it was their Dad.

  6. another co-worker

    My fondest police reoprt memory from our paper said this: “A caller reported a couple beating each other up in an alley. When police came to the scene, the couple told them they were “role playing”. The officers advised them to play their games indoors.”

    Love it.

  7. So did you listen to the nice police officer and go indoors?

  8. Waltz-we just might be!
    I’m constantly finding police reports that match my coworker’s descriptions, or that of family members…except no one has fessed up to them yet….hmmmm

  9. My dad had one of those. After he died, my mom donated his scooter to the homeless shelter. They were so shocked that she was giving it away. She figured that they didn’t pay for it, between 3 insurances (tricare, personal, and medicare), so why not give it to someone else who needs it.

    Glad to hear that Poppy can get around now. And that he’s not SUI (scooter-ing under the influence).

  10. How wonderful of your mom. The kindness of strangers really does have such a huge impact. Truly.

    And SUI? *snort*

  11. How did my white cow get so far?

  12. OMG my town has made LENO TOO! Remember the lady who sued the two high school girls for leaving cookies on her doorstep? Apparently she suffered a panic attack, thinking they were pranksters. The girls got an interview on Leno, and the woman got death threats.

    HAHAH I love country livin’!

  13. threeboys1mommy — At least now you know where it is …

    pisceshanna — I DO remember that lady! That was YOU?!?!?

    Heh heh. 😉

  14. wow. those police reports are heeelarious.

    i wonder what DC police reports are like. aside from the death and murders and whatnot. (i totally never say ‘whatnot’, but found it appropriate to use here.)

    my dad has threatened to get one of those RRRRascals, but i refuse. sure, he’s a fat amputee with heart problems, high cholesterol and an alcohol problem, but he needs to just suck it up and WALK. not that Poppy isn’t deserving, but my father certainly isn’t.

    (sorry, my fuse is short tonight and my poor children are suffering… and now so are you and your comment readers…)

  15. Red autos, apparently, are the most prone to accidents.
    Wonder if that stands true about red scooters?
    Anycase, that’s one hot ride!

  16. The awesomeness of the scooter salesman is almost matched by the hilarity of the police report. Seriously. Why would they have to include the fact that the poor woman was half-bald? Was it relevant to the incident? It’s not like being half-bald is the same as being intoxicated. But just in case anyone wouldn’t know who she was, there was the useful fact? So funny.

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