I know there’s a lesson in here somewhere.

Once a month I volunteer at a local elementary school. United Way provides an after-school program for kids whose parents have to work, and I help out with whatever they may need that day. Sometimes it’s helping kids with homework, sometimes it’s playing with them on the monkey bars.

This week, as I’m pulling up to the school, I see flashing lights in my rear view mirror. Totally taken off guard, I park in front of a chain link fence bordering the playground. Two cops get out of their cruiser — one of them, I kid you not, crept up the side of the car, hand on her holstered gun like she was ready to take me out. Keep in mind, the lights are still going. And now, the kids are starting to gather along the fence.

Apparently I “blew through the school zone going 29 MPH.” I said the sun was in my eyes. I said the school crept up on me — I can never remember how to get there. I said I had no idea I was going 29 MPH. All true. The best part, though?

COP: Are you a parent? Are you picking up your child?

ME: No. I’m a volunteer.

COP: Oh, really?

ME: Mmm hmm — for the United Way After School Program? I’m here to help the kids with their homework until their parents can pick them up.

Ooh yeah Baby. An even BETTER answer than “I have diarrhea.” (Which I’m SO going to use someday.)

Now the kids are waving.

We talk a little longer, he checks my license, registration, insurance, etc. and tells me he’s letting me off with a warning.


Mommypie. Model Citizen. Example Setter.


Filed under Life Lessons

11 responses to “I know there’s a lesson in here somewhere.

  1. My Hero!

    “I have diarrhea.” Best. Excuse. Ever!

  2. This is so weird. Just yesterday there was a biker cop sting on Hollywood Blvd. I blew threw a crosswalk and when the cop asked me if I saw the people, I said yes, but my baby’s screaming her head off and I”m just trying to get home so i don’t hurt any one.
    The cop sized me up and then gave me a warning.

    I owe my 6 week daughter a beer or something.

  3. andij1967

    Huh. This obviously illustrates how you are so much cuter than me, because the same thing happened to me a few months ago in front of MY daughter’s school and the cop gave me the ticket. For going 4 mph over the limit. Jerk.

    Also, I’ve tagged you for a meme on my blog. You’re not obligated to do it… I just wanted to send more traffic your way because you are so AWESOME! 😉

  4. Getting tired of hearing my son say “all the kids always pick on me” on the playground, and the school denying it, I decided to find out for myself. I parked a bit away, and got the binoculars out. Then, the cops. Three cars, surrounding my car.

    I was glad that a neighbor was observant enough to see a “woman with binoculars watching the children on the playground.” I was also a bit scared too…until I had sized their reaction to me up. All was well that ended well.

    Maybe the lesson is that where there is a school, there is likely to be law enforcement?

  5. Bwahaha! That’s awesome. (You’re a good mommy.) 🙂

  6. I LOL at the last sentence,”model citizen”. Too funny. That’s great they let you off with a warning. 🙂

  7. OMG, I’m just floored that you had the guts to come clean here, for the world to read… whew.

    You got me with this one too: ““I have diarrhea.”


  8. I am totally using this next time I get pulled over. Diarrhea stopped working a while back. 🙂

  9. Finn

    You know what floors me? You are actually volunteering to help with homework. You obviously do not have a grade schooler attending school in the 21st century. In about three years you will be kicking yourself. Ha!

    From a mother of a 5th and 3rd grader about to jump off a cliff.

    Oh, right. I just remembered you have a daughter. Never mind.

  10. no lesson here. unless the lesson to be learned is that the female cop needs to calm the f down.

  11. You showed them. Bet they dreamt about you last night! You are their worst nightmare!

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