Troop 3447 gets crafty. Or an old lady loses her mind. Both involve diapers.

Suzette is an older woman that works in the office upstairs. She’s a bit … off. The two offices share a kitchen. At any given moment, chances are usually good Suzette can be found talking to herself, rumaging around in the fridge or cleaning out drawers. Who knows. She likes the kitchen. We also have a large meeting space that’s available for rent, so people come and go quite frequently.

Yesterday morning, ACW (Another Co-Worker) came into my office.

ACW: Dude, there’s a DIAPER on top of the fridge.

ME: What? Is it dirty?

ACW: No …

MP: Uhhh…

ACW: An ADULT diaper.

ME: WTF?

ACW: I know.

ME: Are you SURE it’s not dirty?

ACW: It’s not dirty.

ME: Is Suzette losin’ it?

ACW: She’s GOTTA be.

ME: ‘Cause she’s the only one I can think of …

ACW: I KNOW.

ME: Wait, who was here yesterday? Didn’t QB come back at six? Was there a meeting?

ACW: Yeah, she had a Girl Scout thing. [QB is a Troop Leader]

ME: Maybe it was from the meeting?

ACW: Why would Girl Scouts involve adult diapers?

(pause)

ME: Maybe it was a … craft?

Hey, wanna play church?

gspopehat

Or Hobag Rock Chicks?

bratzdiaperband

I would so rock the Girl Scout diaper crafts. Maybe QB will let me loose on her girls.

I totally want a badge.

Image borrowed from these guys and these guys.
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23 Comments

Filed under Disturbing Piece

23 responses to “Troop 3447 gets crafty. Or an old lady loses her mind. Both involve diapers.

  1. We have a guy in our office who puts his leftover salads in the freezer! WTF?

    I guess it’s all about the ICEberg lettuce?

  2. Rick's Cafe

    The insanity of having a Democratic President is starting to have an effect on the populace. Like any virus, old people are the 1st to show symptoms 🙂

  3. This post speaks to me in so many ways. It reminds me of what I miss about working in an office. And being a Girl Scout. Regrettably, I got kicked out of Girl Scouts before we ever got to the adult diaper merit badge. (What. Like I’m the only one of your readers who got kicked out? PLEASE.)

  4. LMFAO @ your photoshop job!

    our receptionist sounds a lot like Suzette. don’t dare get involved in a conversation with her. you will leave confused and breathless. i usually just smile and do the fake laugh and walk away. really fast.

  5. yeah…just to set things straight…this had NOTHING to do with my Girl Scout meeting (leader meeting, btw). HOWEVER…now I totally know what I’m doing with my troop next week. You’re guest crafting for us.

  6. 3limes

    I have been checking in with you and enjoying your blog and humour everyday! This is part of my procrastinating technique…I have 45 essays to mark… and now I am addicted. Thanks for the welcome distraction! I will keep coming back for more.

  7. Aw, thanks 3Limes! Makes my day 🙂

  8. I stopped by because your comment over at Vintage Thirty cracked me up! And aha, a Girl Scout post – I was meant to see this! Being a former G.S. volunteer for 15 years, I’m thinking the diaper was probably a craft. I’ve seen slippers made from kotex (and they were adorable), so it is possible – LOL!

  9. As the self-designated poo representative, I must point out that “Pope” hat looks way too similar to “Poop” hat.

    Sorry. But someone had to say it.

  10. another co-worker

    It was pretty funny. And the diaper is still on the fridge. I’m considering putting it on over my clothes and wearing it around the office. Or using it as a chip bowl for our next committee meeting…Oh the possibilities!

  11. You should tack it to the community office bulletin board and see if anyone claims it. (And if you’re not a loyal follower of Grey’s Anatomy that refence will mean nothing to you.)

  12. Please please please tell me this is not true!!! Also, now I want to put a pair of my panties in the fridge to cool them and see what they feel like on. Hey, that person might be on to something. Self cooling panties!

  13. Please talk Another Co-Worker into wearing the diaper around the office and then post a part 2.

  14. We are about to reveal something truly horrid about The Princess. It is all about the refrigerator and undergarments. (And Miss Steenky Bee, be advised it is All. Your. Fault. these private thoughts are being shared.)

    Anywho, when TP was in elementary school, the rooms where Home Ec was taught were located on the second floor of the school. (All those under age 35 are now saying Home Ec? WTH is that?) These classrooms were situated directly above the rooms where the boys attended shop class on the first floor.

    In 7th grade the Home Ec teacher thought it would be ideal if our spring sewing project was making our own bathing suits. So one spring day when several girls were sans undergarments because they were trying on their bathing suits, some of us thought it would be entertaining to take said undergarments and put them on hangars.

    These hangers were attached to other hangers that we then dangled out the window down to the first floor shop windows. Where all the boys were.

    Oddly, the shop teacher, home ec teacher, school principal and nearly-nude students did not find this to be as amusing as we hoped. (However, the boys in shop class thought it was hilarious.)

    You would think the teacher would have learned from her mistake. Hah! In 8th grade we had the same dopey project! That year we took the undergarments from those who were changing into their swimsuits, misted them with a spray bottle and put them in the freezer.

    We were *very* proud of our creativity that year because no girl was going to walk around without their, well, you know.

    See?Told you it was about underthings and crafts and the refrigerator!

    tp

  15. HA! You are an Evil Genius, Ms. PP. (That actually sounds like something I’d totally do …) I have a story about undergarments in the freezer too, but mine is from high school. And involves one too many Bartles & Jaymes wine coolers.

  16. andij1967

    So I’m a Troop Leader as well (Brownies, Hoo-Rah!!) and I could totally use you to help me come up with crafty ideas. If you agree (which why wouldn’t you, really?) I can hook you up with a box of Samoas for your troubles.

  17. I used to work with a woman who sounds suspiciously like your Suzette. She would do crazy things like bring in diapers and baby wipes and use them to clean work surfaces. If anyone questioned why she had diapers (middle-aged, never married, no kids) she’s just say they work the best for absorbency purposes and continue to scrub away. Eventually they carted her away in a crazy wagon. So, just watch out ….

  18. I really needed that after attending my dear friend’s funeral today. Thanks!
    Your commenters rock, too! As Usual.

  19. underthebigbluesky

    not all, but some days, i really miss going to work.

  20. LOL You come up with the craziest shit!

  21. Suzette sounds like me after a long weekend alone in my house. ;0

  22. Imagine if you found the diapers dirty INSIDE the ref. . . oh-oh. . . .

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