Grammy’s got a secret.

This is Grammy.

Grammy is having an affair with the riding lawnmower.

Every few nights, around 7:00 or 8:00, as soon as Poppy goes to bed, she sneaks out to rendezvous with Mr. Deere. I know because I hear them from my house next door.

Ridin’ the green pony.

It’s not like I’m eavesdropping or anything. I can’t help it. They’re LOUD.

And they go for HOURS. She says she likes it. CHAH.

She claims it’s RELAXING.

So the other night, as the sun was fading, I confronted them with my camera. Grammy, overcome with guilt and shame, tried to hide behind a tree.

Poor, poor Poppy.


Filed under Disturbing Piece

21 responses to “Grammy’s got a secret.

  1. Perhaps this is her version of taking the family convertible for a joy ride. Is there a drink holder and a radio to add to the comfort and fun?

  2. This is how my husband spends his entire weekend. I kid you not.

  3. Can you send Grammy my way, please? We’ll get along juuuuuuuuust fine. What a hoot. I sooooooo enjoy your writing!

  4. littlemansmom

    It’s like sitting on the washing machine during the spin cycle…except you actually look like you’re doing something productive! LOL!!

  5. I want a riding lawn mower now….mine has to have a blender and margarita glass holder though. Then I will be happy.

  6. I’m sorry, I interrupt this comment to say,
    “Twitterho Has a Dream is on Five Star Friday!” “Twitterho Has a Dream is on Five Star Friday!”

    I TOLD you it was brilliant!

  7. todd

    I’m generally just a lurker, but every now and then feel the urge to leave a comment to tell you how much I love your blog, and especially your sense of humor.

  8. Think I need to get one of those to mow my tiny plot of land. Looks like she might be getting more than just relaxation from it. What Poppy doesn’t know will never hurt him.

  9. Well no wonder! Poppy goes to bed pretty early and obviously leaves Grammy hangin.’

  10. What a hoot!

    I wonder if I can get one of those in red with a sweet little stereo and GPS?

  11. *wonders how much they vibrate?
    *seriously contemplates getting one for my suburban home

  12. Shame on Grammy! Doesn’t she know that Mr. Deere really gets around?

  13. Oh see? This is where my oh so clever joke fits in nicely. I think my goal should be to tell this joke once or twice on every blog on the internet.

    What are the sexiest animals in the barnyard?

    Brown chicken, brown cow.

    Get it? You gotta say it like you’re saying, “bow chicka, bow, bow” You get it now, right?
    You don’t? Screw it, I give up.

  14. Brown chicken, brown cow.

    BAHAHAHA! That’s AWESOME. I totally suck at remembering jokes — but I swear I’m going to remember this one.

  15. Grammy’s got it goin’ on.

  16. You should buy her a pony or something. This is hysterical.

  17. Careful, darling MommyPie; I’ll just bet GrammyPie has the goods on Mommy Pie and would be willing to spill it in her own blog.

    I can see it now: MommyPie vs. GrammyPie — the Pie Wars. It’s ON.

    : )

  18. Pingback: Bookmarks about Secret

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