Current Events Casserole

This just in: Bought MP a new pair of white tennies. Within eight hours, she’d stepped in dog poo. Just like Alanis Morrisette and that ray-ee-ain on her wedding day.

This just in: I’m SO diggin’ ‘Douche.’ As in ‘Douchebag.’ It’s crass. I don’t wanna let it go. It’s perfect. Why else would young boys everywhere claim it as their primary sound effect? DOUCHE. 10 points.

This just in: Denise Richards and her new single mom TV show? Douche. (I rest my case.)

This just in: Fox News, Michelle Obama, Baby Mama. Erin Kotecki Vest is my new American Idol. If you haven’t heard about this yet, you need to.

This just in: Only one sticker has fallen off Bossman’s car. To the best of my knowledge, he’s still driving around with one on his driver’s side mirror. Excellent.

This just in: Mommypie did NOT, in fact, have a heart attack last month. After a lengthy doctor’s appointment which included multiple lab tests, symptoms were determined to be a result of ACID REFLUX DISEASE. Yay. Unpleasant, but waaay better than the alternative. Thanks Doogs for all your support through my [tragically Clooney-less] ER episode.

This just in: My Economic Stimulus Check. Yeeeee Hoo!

Aaaannd, drum role please …

This just in: Holy crap! I MADE THE LOCAL NEWS!

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17 Comments

Filed under Bits and Pieces

17 responses to “Current Events Casserole

  1. you’re just killin’ me. i would love to flip the lid on your cranium and have a peek inside there.

  2. Are you dizzy from the ride?

  3. okay, lots of good stuff in here, but the fact that you, too say “tennies”…? BY FAR THE BEST NUGGET. (i say tennies all the time and get crap for it every time its uttered.)

  4. i just watched the video… LOL.

  5. hahaha that news clip was HILARIOUS!!!!! i’ve got to use that one day!!!! oh and so glad you didn’t have a heart attack. altho you can prolly make that sound funny too!

  6. Why aren’t you out saving the economy and spending that stimulus check of frivolous purchases? Like food and gas?

    I also share your feeling on the Michelle Obama business. You know the only way we have a chance to save our civilization is to blow up the Fox News Network. And frankly, all those who watch it.

  7. KD

    My Caspian has reflux. It is miserable. He takes umm…crap. I forget, but it workds awesome. I am so much help I know. You can thank me later.

    That video was too funny! I want to make one now!

  8. My mom’s reflux often feels like a heart attack…as do panic attacks! I’m glad you got that figured out.

    OMG that’s too funny.

    If you ever do a Bossy trip…I am so going to stalk you so we can hang out!

  9. Bwahahahaha! That was so funny. Until it hit the “48 hours” bit, I actually thought it was true! I know. I wanna’ buy your bridge, too…

    That Queen of Spain piece is awesome. Now must blogroll her too. Someday soon I’ll need a 2nd mortgage to pay for the daycare I’ll need in order to read blogs.

  10. That was good. And I loved your er trip post. Not that relish in your pain or anything, but that was good.

  11. So sorry about the reflux, but it’s definitely better than the alternative. Also sorry to her you lost all your change and carnival prizes. Now go out and stimulate the economy!

  12. honeywine

    Denise Richards….ugghhh…she’s going in my Clay Aiken file.

  13. TOTALLY. I need to start me one of those files — there’s a waiting list a mile long to get in.

  14. So glad your “heart attack” was nothing too serious. Reflux is bad enough as it is. My daughter has it and she thought for sure it was either a cornary (at a whopping 18 years old) or gallstones. Thankfully it was neither and I think they have her on something like Prevacid or something like that.

    Oh and the local news story. *lmao* That’s gonna get me in so much trouble…I’ve been putting everyone I can think of in “local news stories” and emailing them all over the globe! One will probably hit the blog sooner or later! *snort*

  15. My good friend swears that everyone who has your symptoms should go get a thyroid test. Have I done it? Nope — that would be sensible and rational, and I tend to avoid those two states of being.

    Glad you’re okay.

  16. haleyangel

    Hey, just came to see what this funny girl’s about I see on Twitter…from MP and Foolery’s comments back at ya…You are hilarious! I lmao at the video and truly loved the Grandfather’s Day post…grew up without a Dad (died young).

    I’m going to follow you, gosh that sounds sick, and add you to Reader cause you gotta great blog goin on here!

  17. That technorati crap is crazy – you’d fetch a good, fair price at any auction I can think of!

    So that makes them very poor calculators of the economics, supply and demand, hedge funds, bull and bear markets and a dozen other financial terms I know nothing about.

    Who do they think they are EF Hutton?

    PS: Who is EF Hutton anyways?

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