How to meet a billionaire and make an impression.

So, not last week but the week before, 24 robbers came knocking on my door I had a little brush with fame and fortune.

Billionaire Media Mogul Ted Turner was in town and was the guest of honor at a casual work thing. I’ll refrain from publishing my long-standing personal opinion of the guy — he knows where I work (and could probably have me killed fired). Suffice it to say, he has a long … history in this town. Yeah.

Anyhoo, I asked my boss in advance if he’d try to get a photo of me with Mr. T. In all honesty, I had no desire to actually MEET the man, but had high hopes for a shot of me making rabbit ears behind him. Or at least doin’ the air kiss. Instead, as I jockeyed for position, Bossman unexpectedly shoved me into our special guest, held up my camera phone and asked if I could have a picture with him. I think he might have even said, “she reeeaally wants one.” Did I mention he’s a JACKASS?

Duuuh. Nice to meet you Ted.

Are you feelin’ the HOLY AWKWARD MOMENT yet? Check out my face — that’s a cross between utter mortification and mighty restraint right there, people. Because even at this precise moment, I wanted to make the crazy face. What is wrong with me? (Besides that hair. Ecch.)

Then Ted and I had a little convo. Within 20 seconds, (girlfriend? wife?) Not Jane flew in from the sidelines. Ted, now wedged between Not Jane and Crazy Stalker Chick (that would be me), and clearly even MORE uncomfortable, fell over himself to introduce her. And I wanted so badly to break out laughing, because knowing that even Ted Turner is on a short leash is … funny.

Eventually event-goers made their way to the bar.

The people watching was most excellent.

And a glass of wine later, Grammy called to say she forgot to pick up MP and could I do it, seeing as preschool closed in 10 minutes and I was closer than she was?

Back to Mommy As Usual.


Filed under Piece of Pop Culture

28 responses to “How to meet a billionaire and make an impression.

  1. Omg. I am laughing off my pants right now. Your boss is really nuts! Anyway, I regard this as an adventure for the day—not only you were introduced to Ted but also to his wife? girlfriend? as well.

    I really love your posts Mommypie. 😀

  2. And not a bunny ear in sight…

  3. I am not liking Not Jane. Not a bit.

  4. It looks to me like Not Jane is young enough to need a sippy cup. I know, I’m snarky like that.

    No one cool ever comes to my office. I suppose it doesn’t help that my office is just upstairs and I work for myself.

  5. The photo with Ted is hilarious. I don’t always pick up on emotional overtones in photography but this one just oozes total discomfort.

    A friend of mine was visiting from NY once and we were in an Austin nightclub when Matthew McConaughey showed up, in all of his scraggly-I’m-rich-but-look-homeless glory. My friend grabbed the camera and dragged me over to him, and I was completely mortified until she handed HIM the phone and said, “Excuse me, sir, would you mind taking our picture?”

    Best. Celebrity. Sighting. Ever.
    I still have the photo of us on the fridge.

  6. YOU SO HAVE TO POST THAT!! THAT’s hilarious!! Seriously, put it on your blog.


  7. This is a very funny story of the awkwardness of (I was going to cross out “young love” and then write “the start of a beautiful career opportunity” or something else, only I can’t make it strike-through…) — so, story of celebrity. But I have to say, bejwell’s story cracks me up as much as yours. And don’t you just love when the comments just make the post even better?

  8. I’m not kidding when I say the comments are my FAVORITE part! You all are some seriously funny folks.

  9. I loved this, but do you know what made me cackle in my kitchen? The little ‘sippy cup’ slur. You are a funny lady.

  10. KD

    You are too funny! The captions are awseome! LOL

    What is wrong with your comments? Or is it just my computer. They get smaller and smaller down the list..

    Anyhoo Nice brush with fame lol!

  11. I like the woman covering her face. She had no idea she was going to be famous!

  12. QB

    Ok, people are going to think we live in Hollywood-Greenland…until you post the pictures that it’s actually SNOWING HARD today. I know, people in the mid-west are floating, people on the east coast are melting, but people, we are POPCICLES!!!
    Ok, that had nothing to do with Ted, but between him and Batman…we’re a real mollywood (if you get my drift).

  13. I know — Holy famous people lately. Cah-razy.

  14. did you slip ted your phone # and address? show him a real good time! haha i wish you did take a photo of jane fonda. i wonder what she looks like un-photoshopped.

  15. littlemansmom

    Ok…but you are WAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY hotter than ‘not Jane’ so there! 🙂

    PS…LOVE the strained smiles…giggle

  16. Aw, shucks. Tanks LMM.

  17. Jay Leno’s cousin? Nahhh….not even close.

    And, I love that he put it on CNN!!!

  18. I love that ‘Not Jane’ rushed over to make sure you didn’t subterfuge her investment.

    Wow, that was really catty of me. Sorry, I’m going to stand in a corner for a self imposed time out.

  19. Oh, but you’re SO right on.

  20. The look on his face is like, “are you grabbing my ass?” and you’re thinking, “this is so hot!”

  21. When you have brushes with fame you don’t mess around. We have Gary Burghoff living in my neck of the woods. Yeah, I don’t bother schlepping my camera around in hope of a sighting.

  22. ok, LMAO at Jay Leno’s cousin!

    i love you, mommypie.

  23. Mom — It does totally looks like I’m playing grab ass. And he looks like Weekend at Bernie’s.

    Foolery — Gary Who? Wha?

    MoFM — Thanks, Man. The feeling’s mutual. 😉

  24. I love Not Jane.
    I love Jay Leno’s cousin.
    I love the bartender’s tv shows.
    I love the sippy cup.

    I didn’t want this post to end!

    This post needs to be in the Mommy Pie Hall of Fame!

  25. Not Jane swooped in there because you are SO fricking gorgeous. That is AWESOME. And you are brilliant, as usual. Has your blog been discovered yet? For reals. Get this thing into the big time.

    Call Babble or something. Sheesh.

  26. He DOES look like the Weekend at Bernie’s guy!! Weird.
    And MommyPie? You are one hot mamma! I want your haircut.
    Happy POW!

  27. Me again.

    I was so excited to see you used this for POW…..have I mentioned how much I loved this post?? You.Are.HILARIOUS!

    I want you to guest post on my blog one day. Pretty please with sugar on top.

  28. Hilarious! The commentary on the photos are what totally did it for me.

    I love that the woman who didn’t want her picture taken, well, she totally got snapped the second time around. She should’ve kept her arm up in front of her face. You should send her a copy with Gotchya! written on the back.

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