My rich fantasy life. It’s all about the cheese.

Dammit Janet. After the writer’s strike, I was totally primed to boycott Grey’s Anatomy, and they go and play the cancer couple in love card. Bastards. SO not fair.

<insert awkward segue>

And speaking of all things medical, between you Doogs, my boyfriend Web M.D., and my city friend Harris — who called me after reading the heart attack post, with a “Dude. You totally have gallstones.” — you got my attention. And when Harris mentioned that nuts and olives can be a trigger for gallstone attacks … well …

… considering I bought a jumbo jug of nuts at Costco last week, and ate half the container in the days before the ER incident, not to mention a fair amount of olives … let’s say I’ve been sufficiently persuaded to consult a doctor. I’ll give it a week or so.

Had I known this Wednesday, when I was working the Women’s Conference, I might have altered my eating habits.

Starting with eliminating the consumption of 10 pounds of olives. (That’s part of the actual conference grazing ground above.)

I still would’ve participated in the cheese fountain feed, which in theory, grosses me out, but in reality is DREAMY.

By the time the event was over, you better believe I was having fantasies of utilizing that fountain for a hot and cheesy foot bath. And after two glasses of red, the fantasy expanded to a full-blown, full-body queso dip bath. With a side of tortilla chips. And maybe some salsa. Nom nom nom.

And speaking of dreamy …

Double dammit. Now Grey’s ends the episode with Meredith and McDreamy in an impossibly romantic candlelit floor plan of their future house on a hilltop?!? I don’t want to love it, but I do.

They just keep SUCKIN’ me back in. My food fantasies and I are goin’ to bed.


Filed under Piecemeal

17 responses to “My rich fantasy life. It’s all about the cheese.

  1. I’m sitting here trying to figure out what the deal is with that weird yellow vase(?) statue(?) or whatever it is in the middle of the table — and then you tell me it’s a cheese fountain, and I’m all, ahhhh…. WHY was I not invited to THAT party? Of course, if you’d eaten that much cheese, you would just have ended up with gout instead of gall stones. So it’s probably for the best that you were on the olive track.

    But next time you need eating advice at an over-supplied conference, pack me with you in your suitcase. m’kay?

  2. My husband had thought. Convinced he was dying. Had to have the whole thing taken out.

    Makes for interesting scars though.

  3. You will not get me to take the olives out of my bloody marys. I won’t. I will not do it and you cannot make me.

  4. Have you tried the spicy beans in your BM? (The DRINK, PJM, not your poo.) Mmmmm – SO tasty.

  5. you say cheese fountain, i say HEAVEN.

    re: grey’s? i DVR’d it last night and will be watching it tonight, as usual. thankfully, you didn’t include too many spoilers in your post above. *cough*

  6. Whoops. Sorry MOFM. Didn’t think about you TiVOers. Guess I should put a *Spoiler Alert* at the top of those posts. My bad. At least I didn’t tell you about the … uh … REALLY big thing that happened in that episode …

  7. littlemansmom

    Bwaaaaaaaaaaahaaaaaaaaaahaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa…to funny! Not the fact that you were in pain, more the cheese fountain!

    It does sound like you are feeling a wee bit better though….phew! 🙂

  8. KD

    I really really recommend seeing a dr about your GB. I had trouble with mine for years and by the time it was removed it was only functioning at 19%. I feel so so much better!

    Oh and Grey’s (2 hour finale which put me about an hour past bed time) was a totaly tear jerker…they always get you back!

  9. Gallstones? Been there, done that, scars to prove it. And like Jenny’s husband thought I was dying each and every time I had an attack.

    Also as an operating room nurse for 10 years of my previous life I can tell you that you are pretty much a prime candidate based on your sex, age, and the fact that you have reproduced. Really. Google it.

  10. MMM Nachos! That’s all I could think about!

  11. Beth

    I have never commented but after reading today’s post I just had to come out of the stalking Doog world! The description of your discomfort is EXACTLY how I felt 2 weeks ago but I actually walked through the ER doors! Yep, gallbladder ATTACK! So now it’s been 2.5 days after laparoscopic surgery and I feel great! Go see a doc-you do not want another attack especially if one of those stones tries to travel out of your gallbladder! Ouch!

  12. Oh. My. Gall. (stones)
    That cheese fountain is just freaky. But now I want one.

  13. Om nom nom nom . . . don’t eat this one . . . nom nom . . . or this one . . . crunch . . . ooooh, this is good . . . yeah, avoid it too . . . crunch crunch . . . this one’ll definitely kill ya . . . slurp . . . you’d better hand those to me . . . nom nom nom . . . you don’t wanna (slurp) cause another attack . . . crunch crunch crunch . . . nope, don’t eat any of this stuff . . . munch munch . . . yeah, the life of a taster is tough, but it’s a sacrifice I’m willing to — HEY! DAMMIT DOOG! Hands off that one! MINE! . . . crunch crunch . . .

  14. I’m pretty darn sure I mentioned the gallbladder. Or at least, I did in my dreams. So there.

  15. DG, you TOTALLY did — and when Harris said something about the gallbladder my first thought was you. And because TWO people had then mentioned it, that sealed the deal. Diagnosis, Gallstones. Thanks Doog. 🙂

    And now, MORE validation from you all (thanks Lurkers for chiming in as well!) — seriously, it’s just what this hypo needed to hear.

  16. Mang, I had my gallbladder out, and my attacks didn’t feel like I was dying at all. Now I feel a little gypped.

    But I guess all was made right with the world when the simple laproscopic outpatient surgery turned into a 6-hour ordeal b/c they discovered my gallbladder had adhered itself to my liver–which was all major big time problematic I guess. Ended up staying a few extra days instead of leaving that day. What fun it was… memories.

  17. Hokay, so. I found you through Myra’s blog, and this has me hooked. I thought I was the only one who dreamt of queso dipping myself.

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