I Shoulda Asked Whoorl

So, I got hair issues.

I suppose I’m lucky in that I have curly hair that’s easily straightened. And I’ve learned to never complain about my curls again — they disappeared during pregnancy and five years later, they’re just now beginning to return. It’s true you don’t know whatcha got ’til it’s gone. Sheesh.

The ‘do never stays the same for long. I get bored. It’s short, then it’s long. Then it’s really short. Sometimes I straighten it, sometimes I let it go, sometimes it’s half and half.

Wait. Half and half. Isn’t that hooker lingo? Didn’t I just learn about that on America Undercover or something? Pimps Up, Hos Down maybe?

Anyhoo …

It’s safe to say my hair’s schizophrenic. And at times, downright heinous.

Like in the morning.

Seriously, the similarities are eerie. Crikey, it probably IS a good thing I’m single.

In the car last week, I see MP in the rear view mirror, staring at the back of my head. She has a smile on her face.

Mommy, your hair looks nice today.

(My heart soars.)

Thank you Sweetie! That’s so nice of you to say.

I like it. You look like a CLOWN.


It was time for a cut and color anyway. I was really excited because I FINALLY found the perfect photo of the cut I wanted. I LOVE LOVE LOVE this hair. (Which, btw, clinches it — someday, I’ll look back on this post and be all, “Ugh, that was SO 2008,” while MP rolls on the floor in uncontrollable fits of laughter.)

Mkay, so she’s black and I’m not. But my hair could SO do that.

I thought so.

My stylist thought so.

My hair … did NOT.

And I am delusional. (I shoulda asked New Media Darling Whoorl.)

I have high hopes though. I still think it’s possible. Give me a few months.


Filed under Piece of Pop Culture

8 responses to “I Shoulda Asked Whoorl

  1. Oi! Tell me about it! I had long spiral curls before I had my son…during my pregnancy it went straight….and darkened. It’s started getting it’s body back, but I still have to colour it the way it used to be….maybe when I have baby # 2 the colour will come back on it own! 🙂 (wishful thinking…I know…), but first I’ll have to actually HAVE sex ( with something other than a battery opperated device) to make baby #2! LOL!!!

  2. I have the curly hair too. I think I’m okay with it now.

  3. atandrade1

    LMBO, you dd is so funny…were you also wearing a red nose?

    I posted once about my stooooooopid habit of getting a perm because it was “easy to take care of” after each baby. Dumba$$ all three times.

  4. Jen

    !SUGAR! Sorry, that’s me above.

  5. I love that hair, too. I used to have that hair, back when I was waitressing. Had to pay big perm $$ to get it, too, because my hair is straighter than Interstate 5. Tall waitress, BIG hair. Can you say FLO on the TV show “Alice?” Didn’t smack gum, though.

  6. I know ALL ABOUT hair problems. I’ve got them. It’s sad too because my daughter’s had half a chance and they got a mom who can’t FIX their hair. Can be heard in my house daily: Honey, I am NOT a hairstylist. I’m sorry.

  7. I have curly-ish hair.
    Basically, it is curly enough to be called curly but straight enough that isn’t as curly as other people’s. So I have to either blow it out straight each and every freaking day or I look like…well…I look like I have an afro. Sad but true.

  8. what is it with you curlied people always wanting to go straight? i’m just somewhere-in-the-middle wavy, which was ideal for ’80’s big hair. but how long ago was that? and i write this after spending the last hour blowing it out straight. i say go for the curly do. can’t wait to see it!

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