DJ Santa and the Funky Bunch

I mentioned a few posts ago I had a radio interview yesterday morning — my first ever. I wasn’t too worried about it considering the size of the town I live in (smallish to medium). I was fully expecting something akin to the Alec Baldwin SNL Schweddy Balls sketch.

Haven’t seen it? Oh, it’s a must. Take a minute. I’ll wait.


So, where was I? Oh yeah … driving like a bat outta hell, MP and I made it to school with literally no time to spare. We’d gone over the familiar, “no diddle dawdling with good-byes because Mommy is really REALLY late” protocol in the car, so she was prepared for my abrupt departure. (If you haven’t gotten it by now, “Late” is a lifestyle at the Pie House.) The drop off was made in record time and I arrived at the studio by 7:30 a.m., adrenaline the only thing keeping me awake.

Because I stay up all night and BLOG. It’s unnatural.

Anyhoo, you know how you generate an image of someone in your mind before actually meeting them? I’m NEVER close. I knew my host’s name was George and that he was a larger man, so naturally, it stuck in my head that I’d be chatting with George Foreman.

After standing outside for an eternity, waiting for George to cut to commercial, I was finally buzzed in. The person on the other side of the door was in fact, NOT a large Black boxer; NOT the inventor of the AMAZING grill that bears his name; but Surly Hippie Santa Clause DJ instead.

After just a few minutes of off-air chit-chat, the headphones go on and Hippie Santa DJ introduces me to the world. I’m there to talk about a pretty big Women’s Conference my company is sponsoring next week, so naturally, I want to tout the benefits of registering, right?

I do manage to get in some key points, but I’ve been warned George likes to get tangental. (In case you’re new, I enjoy making up words.) He doesn’t disappoint.

Somehow we wind up talking about men who wear ladies shoes.

“I think they’re called … pumps? Is that right?”

“Mmm hmm. Very painful. Not good for an ALL-DAY CONFERENCE, like the one on May 21.

“I don’t even know where someone would GET a size 12 pump …”

“Well George, I’m sure there are lots of sites on the web that cater to men interested in wearing pumps.”

I can see he’s kind of liking this pump wearing idea. At this point I’m thinking,

a. Get this guy on point.

b. Don’t forget to mention sponsors.

c. How many greasy heads have these earphones I’m wearing actually BEEN on?? Eww eww eww!”

Don Imus dropped by, made himself at home, and started popping off about women’s basketball. I think he was confused about the topic, Women in Business.

Then Howard Stern showed up and added to the confusion.

He was totally inappropriate.

And we were WAAAY off topic.


Pre-Photoshopped Howard Stern photo credit AP Photo.


Filed under News Piece

10 responses to “DJ Santa and the Funky Bunch

  1. Jen

    Thank you thank you for the great morning LAUGH!

    You are adorable…a little like Dooce and Bossy mixed! 😉

  2. I LOVE YOU JEN. Period. You are officially my new best friend.

  3. Mmm… balls. Good times, good times.

  4. If anyone ever called me Dooce and Bossy mixed, I think I might swoon. Twice. I was going to say something all complimentary about your funniness and skills with the Photoshop, but all compliments have been trumped by Jen up there. So, here’s a heartfelt (if lame in its eloquence): You rock the house for me every day.

    Also, I stay up too late blogging every night too. Addictions are terrible things. 🙂

  5. Swoon and then some! I’m higher than a kite!! I’m gonna milk that baby for all it’s worth! Woo hoo!!

    And the house rockin’ thing — the feelin’s totally mutual Sister.

  6. Santa Claus isn’t black?

    ANNNNND . . . we’re back. You are frightfully funny, Miss Pie, and don’t you ferget it. And I’m guessing that several others before you have left the studio near tears. You kept steering it back, and that’s not easy and very commendable. PLUS you look good in sticky greasy headphones.

  7. i’m sure it came off a lot better than you think it did… whoof, kudos to you for having to deal with santa, imus AND howard in one sitting. oh, and i forgot to mention *almost* george forman…

  8. You are definitely THE NEW DOOCE.
    (With a much cooler name that is much easier to figure out how to pronounce.)

    I’m laughing about you thinking of purelling the greasy headphones…that is classic McMommy right there. I’m a bit of a germ freak….and greasy hair headphones?!! Ugh. I think I just threw up a little in my mouth.

  9. Okay, you and Jen. My BFs FOREVAH.

  10. Pingback: Here comes Santa Bum, Here comes Santa Bum, Right down Santa Bum Lane. « Mommy Pie

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