The Little Matchstick (Button) Girl

MP hates buttons. HATES. This intense dislike has gone on since she was about 14 months old. Which is unfortunate, because it severely limits my wardrobe choices, and means hers are pretty much restricted to sweats and t-shirts.

Anyone wearing them be damned – she’ll see those buttons coming a mile away, and avoid you like a bowl of piping hot brussel sprouts. She’s noticed tiny embellishments on my clothes I didn’t even know were there.

It took me awhile to figure out why some days she just didn’t like certain people. Like Grammy or Poppy. Or even me. And then one day she told me.

“Because I can smell their but-tons.” (Her little face screwed up with disgust.)

Okay, I wasn’t expecting that.

“What do they smell like?” (Trying not to laugh)

(Highly exasperated) “Like BUT-TONS!” (Duh.)

Thanks for the clarification. Silly woman.

The weird thing is, I think maybe she actually CAN smell them. At the store, she’ll point out someone an aisle away and tell me they smell. As we get closer, sure enough … buttons.

My mom thinks I may have scared her at one point early on by telling her not to put them in her mouth. I’ve thought long and hard on that one and I’m pretty sure I never said that (at least about buttons, that is). It wasn’t like I sat her down in a big pile of loose buttons one day and said, “Go crazy Kid. Just don’t put any in your mouth, cause you could choke and DIE.”

I’m almost convinced it’s a past life thing. Too weird NOT to be. Maybe she was an impoverished button maker. Working in a button sweat shop. Or selling buttons somewhere on a 17th Century London street corner.

Grammy’s determined to put an end to the madness. She actually had a great idea last week and took MP along to help pick out “special buttons” for a dress she was making just for her. MP came home with a jar full of rainbows and flowers and ladybugs that didn’t resemble buttons in the least – she’s been playing with them all weekend. We’ll see how successful the behavior modification experiment is once they’re transfered to the actual dress.

In the meantime, I’m not worried about it. I know this “thing” will disappear sooner or later, and when it does, I’ll be sad to see one more little piece of babyhood go. So for now, MaggiePie, you go ahead and do your thing. BAD buttons. BAD.

UPDATE, 9:20 p.m.
The craziness has hit an all-time high. Tonight, I learned the button thing now includes BOOK ILLUSTRATIONS. That’s right – Goldilocks and the Three Bears has officially been banned, because Baby Bear is wearing a button-down shirt.

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