I joined the hoards of Twilight Moms a few weeks ago and went to see New Moon. Like there was any question I’d miss it. Please.

And I’ll admit, since then, the re-emergence of my Edward Cullen obsession has been … troubling. Not only did I purchase the Twilight DVD so I could watch it the night before New Moon, I’ve watched it … oh … a good seven times since. The other day at Target, I caught myself pausing at a Twilight promotional endcap to fondle the Edward action figure.

Aaaannnd … admitting that makes me nauseous.

Don’t ask me to explain. I can’t. The screenplay leaves out major portions of the book. The acting sucks. I think it even got WORSE in New Moon. Kristen Stewart, in all her angsty-teen glory is 500 times more annoying this go around.

Which is why — HOOOLY HELL — when I saw this for the first time today, I howled.

[In homage to Jacob and the pack.]

Happy Thanksgiving, Doogs!

So, fairies. We’re big into ‘em at The Pie House. Not to mention friendly giants (you can see them sleeping, carved into the mountainside overlooking our house), pots of gold, and all things magical and mystical.

Which brings me to Saturday, and the loss of MP’s second baby tooth. This meant another visit from the Tooth Fairy Saturday night, complete with more bedsheets dusted with silver glitter, and eight shiny quarters placed carefully under her pillow. (I lay down beside her and studied that tiny, beautiful face for what must have been 40 minutes, marveling at how quickly she was growing. She looks so much like her father when she sleeps.)

Sunday, there were many speculations about the Tooth Fairy. Like, when did she sleep? If she had to be in CHINA during the day, and HERE at night, that made no sense. Maybe fairies just DON’T sleep. And was there a fairy exclusively for boys and one for girls? And where did she/they live? MP thinks perhaps it’s in OUR house. Apparently, she hangs out with the Dog Fairy. That would be the one that rides Rosie’s tail and makes her chase it.

The fairy fascination has been around for a few years now — and, fostered by a little creative collaboration between The Boy and me, blossomed this summer during our last humid weeks in Connecticut. Fairy House hunting yielded the following results:

That last one? I like to think of it as the ZZ Top House of Fairies.

So where DO fairies live in the winter? Snow Huts? Igloos? Unless they follow the Fairy Elderly and hightail it to Florida, methinks I’ve got my work cut out.

Holy crap.

SHE LIVES.

It’s clear I’ve been one ginormous phlegmy snot ball of blog suckage. (Colorful AND literal, Mommypie.) It’s been nearly three weeks now of congested, sleep-deprived walking deadness, and I’m close to actually turning the old “turkey-baster up the nose” fantasy into reality.

Whatever. Don’t pretend you’ve never thought about it.

So, I’ve been absent in the blogosphere. Blame it on life. Starting a business. Relationship weirdness. Physical sickness. Sheer lack of time. The thing that REALLY bums me out though, is that I’ve failed to properly document the multitude of momentous happenings in the lightning fast life of MP these past six months.

Like reading her first book, cover to cover, all by herself. Green Eggs and Ham RULES.

The excitement of the first day of kindergarten.

And the day she came running into the house because she discovered this amazing sight.

That night it snowed, and the apples, along with the bees, froze.

Then, Halloween. Is it wrong that I nearly burst with pride, when, for the second year in a row, MP passed over the princess costumes in favor of superhero garb? Last year, Bat Girl. This year, Super Girl. Next year, Oprah? We don’t need no stinkin’ tiaras!

I even failed to get photos of the pumpkins. Which didn’t get carved until Nov. 1. Throwing a couple wigs on each one and calling it a day is apparently only funny for a few weeks.

And then there was the week she came down with the Swine Flu. Which, amazingly, thankfully, MP, my little Asthma-Baby, bounced back from in a matter of days.

And our fox. Who visited throughout the summer and fall, nearly every morning and every night like clockwork. Calm and completely devoid of fear, she’d sit under an apple tree and watch as we went about our business. (I love living here.)

And, arguably, the biggest event of the past few months … MP losing her first tooth. I DID record the first one. Now, the second tooth is loose and primed for the Tooth Fairy’s second visit. I give it two weeks at the most.

It all goes so fast. Today, as I sorted through her outgrown clothes, I couldn’t help but feel the tiniest bit of sadness. Any worry I had about her childhood passing too quickly, however, all but vanished as I exited her room.

And saw a giant booger smeared on the hallway wall.

*sigh*

With temps getting down to the single digits at night, and snow on the ground, it’s hard to believe just last week it was warm. That’s the way things are in the Rockies (this part, at least) — one or two weeks of fall at the most. Which doesn’t actually bother me too much — I’m more of a cold-weather mama anyway.

So to celebrate the end of summer, and possibly the last dragonfly of the year, I give you a video taken last week. (Forgive the shoddy camera work — forgot you can’t rotate the camera when it’s in movie mode. Duh.)

Let me preface this by saying MP LOVES bugs. She’ll tell you all about caterpillars and the cocoons they build. That baby grasshoppers don’t have wings. That Rhinoceros Beetles are stronger than any insect or animal on earth. And that kids in Asia keep them as pets. Thankfully we do not live in Asia.

Then there’s the dragonfly. The awesome, beautiful dragonfly. (Did you know they can fly forward AND backward?)

Last night MP lost her first tooth. HER FIRST TOOTH!

I may or may not have played a role in it falling out …

“Oow, Mommy, you’re brushing too hard!”

<<SNAP>>

<<BLOOD>>

“Did your tooth just come out?!?”

MP spit a wad of blood into her palm (‘atta girl!) and offered me its contents — a perfect pearly pink baby tooth that had been clinging to life by a few gummy threads for DAYS. It was time.

We jumped up and down and, in our PJs, ran to Grammy and Poppy’s in the dark.

We called Bobo and told him the news. We called Uncle Pauly and told HIM the news, too, cutting things short when he told MP the Tooth Fairy usually brought $50 for the first tooth.

“Mommy! Fifty DOLLARS!”

Bastard.

Turns out Uncle Pauly was wrong. Instead, this morning, MP awoke with silver fairy dust sprinkled in her hair and around her pillow, and a crisp TWO dollar bill under her pillow. Oh, and a small bag of jacks and a note from TTF herself.

And the wonder and joy of it all nearly made me cry.

*sigh*

Baby Pie’s growing up.

So, Day Two in LA. You already know Day One was loaded with quality celebrity sightings … How, you ask, can it get any better?

Oooh, my friends, get better it does.

The day began once again on the Sony Pictures Lot (Did those 10 words really just come out of MY mouth?) where we had another course covering multiple Sony products, including their Handycam HDR-CX100 camcorder (which, in addition to recording amazingly crisp images, fits in a small evening bag! And it’s red!) and their Cyber-shot DSC-TX1 — Sony’s very cool new point-and-shoot. My two favorite features? The super easy touch screen (think iPhone) and an amazing panoramic capability like you’ve never seen before. (I totally sound like the ShamWow Dude, but it’s all TRUE.) 

Here’s me with one of Sony’s new Alpha DSLRs. (That’s Digital Single Lens Reflex — highly coveted by bloggers.) We each had the use of one for three days and lemme tell you, giving that beautiful baby up at the end of the trip was HARD. Mommypie was very sad not to come home with one (hey, a girl can dream) — especially after such fantastic instruction by Photographer Me Ra Koh (LOVE her). It’ll take awhile, but I may have to save my pennies …

So back to the agenda. We knew that the following day we’d be attending the premiere of the animated children’s movie “Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs.” (Get it? We’re moms?) As a special bonus, we learned that we’d also be sitting down with some of the actors and the directors for round-table interviews, which is where we went after lunch. (Again. Did that phrase really just come out of MY mouth?)

We talked to Bobb’e J. Thompson, who plays (er, voices?) Cal Deveraux, son of Earl Deveraux, voiced by Mr. T, who, in my opinion, stole the show. But more about that in the next post.

He was quite the entertainer.

We interviewed the directors, Phil Lord and Chris Miller, two self-described (and completely adorable) geeks. Phil totally reminded me of Cory Haim. Minus all the drugs. I could’ve eaten him with a spoon.

The interviews wouldn’t have been complete without the stars, Anna Faris (I have to admit, I had NO idea who she was, even AFTER meeting her), and Bill Hader. (Who I only knew as That Guy Who Plays Creepy Characters on SNL That Make Me Want To Wash With Lava.)

Anna was charming and smart and cute as a baby bunny. (Oh, and btw, I have since watched House Bunny and now see what all the fuss is about. Hilarious. ‘Sweet Balls’ is now officially my favorite expression.) Bill was flat out funny. And he strung words together like “fucking weird,” which I dug, because it was real. Honestly, they were all surprisingly real. The fact that they were outnumbered by nine mommy bloggers might have had something to do with it … we’re very maternal, you know.

And highly intimidating. Like sushi. Or chess.

I digress.

Other notable Second Day Moments? Sitting in the [very YOUNG] bar at The W in Westwood with my new BFF Karen Sugarpants later that night. The two old chicks in the corner Twittering? Yeah, that was us. I think I actually sent Phil Lord a Tweet that the Sony Moms wanted to eat him with a spoon. Or something.

The only thing better? That Beth Blecherman came down IN HER PAJAMAS to drink with us 15 minutes after we’d left.

We ROCK.

So Doogs, last week took a bit of a surreal turn — Sony Electronics flew nine mommy bloggers, including yours truly, to LA for a little tete a tete.

Um, WHA?!?

Crazy but true. I have so much to tell you, it’s definitely gonna take a few days. I thought I’d start with a little sampling of my many, many celebrity sightings and brushes with greatness on the Sony Pictures Lot.

‘Memba him? Everybody Loves Raymond? Apparently he has a reality dating show now. (In his defense, the Mom Jeans don’t do him justice.)

Seven seconds later …

Holy Mamarazzi.

Then, unbelievably, one of my secret boyfriends cruised by.

You can’t tell, but his golf cart is made out of gold.

And here’s the guy who told us where we could find Cameron Diaz and Seth Rogan … but we didn’t hear it from him. *wink wink*

Clearly he’s unaware that bloggers ALSO have a hard time keeping their mouths shut.

No matter — no Cameron. No Seth. We DID see the new, top secret set of Jeopardy though. AND the set of a new Cher movie. Now, if only the two could somehow be combined … Alex Trebek in Bob Mackie … Ooohmommyblogger, THERE’s a show I’d watch. (The dream sequence potential ALONE is almost enough to make me break down and buy TiVO.)

Oh, I love SPAM.

Yeah, not really, but when it’s this dumb, it makes me laugh.

♥ Singlesnet – is the best online place to meet people! ♥
Get immediate access phone numbers and email addresses
takes only 2 minutes to complete form and find fiends or love!!

Screw the love … FIND FIENDS?!?

Dude. If there will be Thriller Zombie Dancing, I’m in.

This weekend I was supposed to drive to Utah to see The Boy, who’s there visiting his mom, but instead, I’m here on the couch, thanks to a nasty head cold. Thank you pediatrician’s office last week. Thank you Booger Eaters IN the pediatrician’s office who gave it to MP, who gave it to me.

No worries — he should be back this way soon. For now, the distance seems to actually be working just fine. We’re in agreement that there’s no need to rush things. We’re together, even if we’re apart. I don’t take the ring on my finger lightly, and neither does he.

Well … I don’t take the ring ITSELF lightly. I’d be lying if I said it was always on my finger. Honestly, I never got it when married guys said they didn’t wear a ring because they “didn’t do jewelry,” or “it just bugged them.” Whatever, right?

Okay, I get it. NOW, I get it. Cause it kinda bugs me too. I’ve never been a huge jewelry girl, but I’m trying. I’m REALLY trying. I do love the ring. I love that he picked it out. I love that it’s so understated. It’s perfect.

And in the scheme of things I suppose it doesn’t make much difference. The plan is to each get rings tattooed on our fingers. (Because he’s one of those non-ring wearing guys … serendipity, no?)

Although, the more I think about it, I might have a better idea. I propose a NEW tradition. New, but still in keeping with the spirit and symbolism of the ring. Instead of a ring, maybe I’ll just have his FACE tattooed on my fingertip. It IS permanent, after all, and that way he’ll always be with me, regardless of distance.

As I age and my fingers prune-up … so will his face. Isn’t growing old together the whole point? MWAH.

And when I’m pissed at him, I’ll just stick that finger right on up my butt. No fighting, no arguing. Just lots of passive aggressive sodomy.

(Ooh yeah, I’m taking “giving the finger” to a WHOLE new level with this one, baybee.)

And on that note, a random photo search result. Look what Google delivered TODAY when I did a search for “finger.”

Awww. Smoochy smooch.

Not to worry. You have my word — absolutely no Finger Monkeys will be harmed in the expression of marital anger. (There’s a Richard Gere joke in here somewhere, I’m just not feelin’ it tonight …)