Insults and Comebacks for All Occasions

So, I’m doing a giveaway. I promised the good folks at Knock Knock (cutest products evah, btw) I’d have this up a loooong time ago, and silly me, I’ve completely neglected the old blog. Which sucks because this would make a perfectly twisted Valentine’s Day gift …

Here’s the deal. Leave a comment below (if there’s anyone still out there … echo … echo …) and you’ll be entered to win the fabulous little book … Insults and Comebacks for All Occasions.

Here’s how Knock Knock describes it:

“There’s a time and a place for saying what’s really on your mind, and Insults & Comebacks for All Occasions provides the lines necessary for dishing it out. Armed with barbs targeting everything from looks to age to intelligence, you’ll always be prepared with an appropriate—or completely inappropriate—putdown or comeback. With the help of this pocket-sized prompter, your reputation will soon precede you.”

My faves?

“Have you thought about upping the dosage?”

“Baggage is one thing. Steamer trunks are another.”

“I’m visualizing duct tape over your mouth.”

And of course …

“Where’d you hear that — on a blog?”

So, leave a comment, Doogs. If you feel REALLY creative, leave me your best insult or comeback. (Not directed at ME of course. Payback’s a beyotch.)

CONTEST ENDS FEBRUARY 22!

UPDATE: Congrats to Suzy Voices! You won the book! Go forth and insult.

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22 Comments

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22 responses to “Insults and Comebacks for All Occasions

  1. Hahaha! That would be a great book for my friend who cant talk back!

  2. Durão

    Ok, so I will give it a try:

    The guy who invented pepper spray must have been inspired by your morning breath!
    ;)

  3. I’ve got nothing. Which is why I need this book!

  4. I NEED this book! I can never think of comebacks until it’s too late! Pick me! ;-)

  5. Maggie

    My comebacks are so bad, they’re AWESOME. Usually I just take whatever a person is saying to me, and use the last word of their sentence with the word “you’re” before it.
    For example, @durao, ‘You’re morning breath’ or sweet mommypie, ‘you’re a beyotch’.
    Usually, people are too stunned by the simple dumbness of my comment– you can’t really go lower than that. Which is also why I need htis book so bad, so that I can insult somebody and actually continue the witty banter.

  6. emily l

    What an awesome giveaway! I’d love to be entered! =)

  7. I want this!!!! And how are you doing????

  8. DawnA

    Snappy comeback usually involves calling someone a body part. Never a nice body part. I would really like to get some new material.

  9. Rick's Cafe

    A book of insults….from you? How sweet of you to try to make up for not blogging all this time.
    Curious, is that your picture under the heading “Snark” ….or is it mine:)

  10. mwahhahaha. I want this book. Usually I use “your mom” jokes on my friends, but even that’s getting boring ;)

  11. we’re here and we love the free booty. count me in!

  12. I was teasing my husband for eating too many ribs. He said, “I only took one!”
    I said, “That’s what Adam said to Eve.”

  13. jp

    What? Did you say something?

  14. bigskylifecoach

    I’m probably too late to enter….precisely why I need the book…..my comebacks are either too lame or I think of them hours later!
    Good to see you on the ol’ blog:)

  15. You haven’t been blogging lately, you say? Huh, I hadn’t noticed.

    DAMN that was mean. Miss you, Mommypie. :)

  16. Rick's Cafe

    Hmmmm, 2/25, I wonder what ever happened to the MommyPie? Must be that international gig that’s messin with her time zones….or somtin.

    And still, inspite of the abuse and lack of attention (seems rather contradictory) we keep coming back to hear the words of the oracle. Speak to us anoited one. Tell us more about your life out west (or east for some) the everyday events that you can make sound so wonderous and fill us with your wisdom and insights.

  17. Rick's Cafe

    Admittedly, not much wit to choose from. Guess that means all you’re readers are just too nice….or there are little ears constantly eavesdropping and effort is being made to set a better example? :)

  18. Rick's Cafe

    Ya never call, ya never write. Who’s feeding the cat?

  19. susan

    When I first started reading this blog, it was about your new found love and life and now it never mentions a word about that????? I am very confused?

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