MP, Verminator.

Today, standing in the kitchen, I hear coming from the front porch, “Hey you DIRTY DOG, get outta here! Get outta here or I’ll SHOOT you!”
“HEY!” I call in my best, gruff WTF Voice — a bit shocked (Dude, that’s no way to talk to your grandparents.) and unable to see who her threats are [...]

Harvey Birdman, Attorney at Law.

Last week, after four months and close to 1,000 members, I figured the time had come to get serious about Swap Mamas and open a bank account. Because I’m a crazy optimist, and I’m positive one of these days I WILL earn a buck or two.
Only, turns out I have to do a little more [...]

Incontinence is an inconvenience.

My old friend Cracker called from Boise tonight. She relayed the story of her recent dealings with the customer service department of a company that will remain unnamed. Clearly she was frustrated. What follows are the ACTUAL emails between Cracker and a department rep.
FROM: CS REP
This refund takes 30 days and I have process. I [...]

My sordid past as a p*rn peddler.

So, a few months ago, the fantastic Deb at San Diego Momma got me (and a few other bloggas – Deb of course, Brian at PapaTV, Melissa at Green Girl in Wisconsin, and Jennifer at Thursday Drive — all really, really good) a freelance writing gig at T. Rowe Price.
Because I’m feeling L-A-Z-Y tonight, I [...]

Things I’ve learned about entrepreneurship.

I used to think there wasn’t enough time in the day BEFORE the launch of Swap Mamas.
Seriously. Smack me now.
In addition to the reality of no sleep (Which really isn’t THAT big of a deal. I haven’t slept in years. I’m a mom. And kind of a vampire.), there are a few things about being [...]

Even better than wax lips. Better tasting too.

This is Dental Hygiene Week at the Pie Town Preschool.
MP’s learning the importance of regular brushing and flossing. And what happens when you DON’T take care of your teeth, and eat too much sugar.

They turn into marshmallows.
Your gums into cream cheese.
And your lips into rosy red apples.
(It’s all very Mr. Potato Head-y.)
Then your teeth fall [...]

Scenes from A Coffee Shop Musical.

There’s this hip little coffee shop downtown. The music’s a little louder. The crowd’s a little more animated. The joint pulses with energy. Because I’m a people watcher, it’s quickly become one of my favorite afternoon haunts these past few months. When I’m there, somehow, I’m more productive. More creative. More optimistic. I’m lighter.
So, it [...]

Shout out to all the muthas this weekend.

♫ M is for the moan and the miserable groan from the pain that she she felt when I was boan. ♫
Happy “Thank-God-I-Didn’t-Squeeze-Mr. T-Through-MY-Vagina” Day.
Love ya Mamas!

Shave and a haircut, two bits.

Nothing beats being your own boss. The first month since stepping off that cliff has been phenomenal.
Liberating.
Empowering.
Economically … er … challenging.
Okay, I’m broke.
Which is fine. I may be your textbook eternal optimist, but I’m also a realist. I know it’ll take time before I turn a profit. (Hey you! Yes YOU, you attractive, smartly dressed [...]

Adding to my colorful history with delivery men …

I’m completely MORTIFIED.
MORtified.
So, I’ve been sick going on three weeks now, right? After going back and forth between head cold/stomach flu/head cold/stomach flu, the bug has settled into a melon-splitting sinus infection which absolutely REFUSES to go away. Read, no health insurance at the moment. The constant pain between my eyes is excruciating. And [...]