MP is in bed. The Pie is out on assignment, and I am here. Who am I? I’m “The Boy.” (AKA ”Deef.” AKA “Uhg.”)
I’ve read the blog, and I’ve read most of the comments. Especially recently. And … since she won’t give you details, I will.
Really REALLY ready?
I am the most shallow person in the world. I am a typical “guy.” I have a Seinfeld-like knack for finding everything and anything wrong with a girl. Wanna hear my most recent disasters?
• Lived for the most recent celebrity magazines. Did Branjolina really just adopt another baby? How could I have missed that?
• Actually watched too much SportsCenter. Unbelievable, but true. A-Rod really did Madonna … AND Steroids?
• Was moley moley moley. Ahhh yuck. Need I say more?
• Liked boys who wore ties. I rarely wear socks.
• Was kind, considerate and giving. (Read as: can I please have 10 minutes alone? How about 5?)
• Blah, blah blah. (Read as blah, blah, blah.) That’s what she said.
Yup. Typical guy. That’s me. Just ask Pie.
My only problem is: I can’t find anything wrong with Pie. Believe me, I’ve tried. And now I’ve spent face time with her. And she only gets sweeter.
EAT YOUR HEARTS OUT OTHER BOYS.