I don’t know why this exercise gives me so much joy, but it does. Here’s how you figure it out.
First Name = Name of your first pet.
Last Name = Name of the first street you lived on.
Hi. I’m Harry Salvador.
Okay, so that’s really Ron Jeremy. Who’s REALLY a porn star. (Don’t ask how I know this. I wish to God I didn’t.) This guy’s living proof that if you want something bad enough, anything’s possible. If you want a good (but gross) laugh, click here for his stats. I particularly enjoy, “Jeremy’s love for food led him to release a line of condiments, the first of which was a hot sauce.”
Dream the impossible dream …
I digress. I think he looks more like a Harry Salvador. What’s YOUR porn name?
55 Comments
November 8, 2008 at 11:06 pm
Mine is Jules Ash. I like yours better.
November 9, 2008 at 12:09 am
That’s actually a really pretty name — sounds like n E! Entertainment reporter or something.
November 9, 2008 at 12:10 am
Hi, I’m Tom 8 inches… okay I added the ‘inches’ it was just 8th st.
November 9, 2008 at 1:49 am
If you must know, it’s Kitty Edgewood…I played a socialite-turned porn star on the soap opera “As the Stomach Turns”.
November 9, 2008 at 9:51 am
My name is Lady Strong. Cuz, you know, that’s how I roll.
Also, I knew who Ron Jeremy was, too. What is wrong with us??
November 9, 2008 at 10:00 am
Um, we’re Rennaisance Women?
November 9, 2008 at 10:51 am
Pierre Brittany. Which is not only stupid, but looks like I tried to make it up. Which I did not. I swear. I had a French poodle. It was a boy. And I only knew one French boy name to name him.
I sort of want a do-over on naming the dog I got when I was five.
November 9, 2008 at 11:19 am
Napoleon Meadowbrook, but my friends call me Nappy.
November 9, 2008 at 1:16 pm
Hi, it’s Kelly Brookwood here. Boring. Snore. Who wants to see HER strip?
November 9, 2008 at 1:33 pm
Ally Ambush…sounds pretty good, huh?!?!
November 9, 2008 at 2:43 pm
I’m Suzy Seminole.
That sounds more like an Eskimo name. Maybe I’m an Eskimoan Porn Star.
Ice cubes, baby!
November 9, 2008 at 3:25 pm
Oh my — mine is Buffy Chapel!
November 9, 2008 at 4:35 pm
Mine is June Ellwood!
After me and my hubby celebrated our 10th anniversary and he surprised me with a gorgeous diamond engagement ring from http://www.idonowidont.com I surprised him with a new dog.
So we named her June. I’ll ask what my hubby wants his name to be!
November 9, 2008 at 6:42 pm
Judy Canyon. If that’s not a great porn name, I don’t know what is.
November 9, 2008 at 8:04 pm
Hi, I’m Amber El Rey. Pleased to meet you. Let’s do it.
(I use my porn name ALL the time. I have an unusual name and Amber is much easier at Starbucks or when ordering Chinese.)
November 9, 2008 at 8:41 pm
YoYo Indiana, here. Pleased to meet you.
November 10, 2008 at 12:43 am
Bootsy Kingswood at your service.
November 10, 2008 at 4:14 am
Whiskers Morgan.
Ew.
Nobody wants to see Whiskers naked.
November 10, 2008 at 6:32 am
I’m Whiskey Hunt , But if you want the whole name of my first dog then it woud be Sir Winston Whiskey Bow Wow Lesinski-HUNT.!
November 10, 2008 at 9:27 am
Candy Louisiana.
LOVE IT!
I also have a friend whose porn name is Patrick Platinum. Yes, all the boys what that porn name.
November 10, 2008 at 10:47 am
I’m Barbie Broadway. I think I missed my calling.
November 10, 2008 at 10:55 am
Hi! I am Buffy Hardee.
Yikes!
November 10, 2008 at 11:01 am
Teaberry Stanley. Yeah, that get’s you excited!
November 10, 2008 at 11:05 am
P.S. Is that a Harry Salvador in your pocket, or are you just happy to see me?
November 10, 2008 at 11:12 am
Buster Becky. Would’ve been better the other way around.
November 10, 2008 at 11:39 am
OMG I’m crying reading these.
Mine is Star West. I could be the next guest Porn Star on the View!
November 10, 2008 at 11:52 am
Why does everyone have a great porn name except me?
Seriously, who wants to do it with Nugget Terrace?
It sound like a place to poo.
November 10, 2008 at 11:56 am
HOWLING at all these. These names deserve a post all its own. Seriously. Funny. Stuff.
November 10, 2008 at 2:33 pm
Okay, I’ll bring you out of it:
Tober County Road HH.
Yeah. It’s like thinking about baseball, only faster.
November 10, 2008 at 2:49 pm
Um, Holy Cold Shower, Buttman.
November 10, 2008 at 2:52 pm
Booga Pemberton. Hmmm…
November 10, 2008 at 3:15 pm
Ya know what they say about the people who’s names don’t “sound” like porn stars……..:)))
November 10, 2008 at 5:43 pm
Are you ready for this??? Bo Forest. Yup, that’s me. Love this post.
November 10, 2008 at 5:49 pm
Ok, I have to share HubbyBee’s name, cause I can’t decide if it’s funny or awful…
Fat Cat Glass.
wowza.
November 10, 2008 at 6:19 pm
Oh shit
I’m Lulu Entrada
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN?
November 10, 2008 at 6:59 pm
Snoopy Tasker. Weeeeeiiiiirrrrdddd.
November 10, 2008 at 8:18 pm
My hubby is Everett Martha Washington. WTF???
November 11, 2008 at 11:39 am
haha. mine’s funny. smoothie clovernook. but i always thought your porn name was first pet + mother’s maiden name and that your celebrity name was your middle name + street you grew up on.
i know this because my friend’s first pet was thumper and his mother’s maiden name is Good….therefore his porn name? thumper good. doesn’t get much better than that!
November 11, 2008 at 6:52 pm
doog, i’m totally late to the game, but i’m here. here to share my hideously LAME porn name.
Samantha Tower.
wtf.
November 11, 2008 at 6:59 pm
wait, we moved when i was 18mos to that street… and, evidently we had a pet there.
Flecka Lado de Loma.
now THAT is impressive… yet not sexy in any way.
November 11, 2008 at 9:59 pm
I’m Snowball Country.
Hawt, right?
November 12, 2008 at 3:46 pm
Wouldn’t mayo have been a more appropriate condiment?
For that matter, wouldn’t a line of condoms been more appropriate and on message with his brand?
November 12, 2008 at 5:47 pm
I am Fi Fi Hayland.
Should I be wearing a beret or a straw hat? Both would be equally appealing in my next porn video.
November 17, 2008 at 7:47 am
Oh man… I’m Petunia Fowler.
November 24, 2008 at 1:08 pm
Buffy Prairie. It has a ring to it.
November 25, 2008 at 10:18 am
Well that would make me Jaguar Englewood. Sounds like a Brazilian tranny.
December 9, 2008 at 2:47 pm
Mine is Ginny Ohio. Not nearly as exotic sounding like so many.
December 21, 2008 at 12:47 am
Pretty Boy Paradise. Which I have to say…is just an awesome porn name.
January 4, 2009 at 9:38 pm
Hubert the 14th. I miss Hubert. He was a weiner dog.
January 11, 2009 at 7:32 pm
Mine is Bear Meadows.
Definitely sounds dirty.
February 1, 2009 at 12:02 pm
Hello. And Bye.
February 28, 2009 at 12:28 am
Camila Bermudez :O
I sound like a hot latina.
But I’m a man
March 15, 2009 at 9:46 pm
how about…
… Ambrosia Steele
Oh yes thats nice and hot ^^ named after my fish…great
April 7, 2009 at 10:22 pm
Diggz Burbank at your service…
April 13, 2009 at 1:08 am
Rod Longjohn, says everything… twice!