But it kills 99.9% of bacteria in 15 seconds …

MP and I have been fighting off colds for a few days now. I am the color of cream of celery soup. MP is ASKING to go straight to bed after dinner. Somethin’ ain’t right, and I don’t understand it.

Especially in light of the fact we’ve been wiping our hands and faces with THESE bad boys.

Which, in my defense, look suspiciously similar to THESE.

But, to cut costs, I went the Tarzhay brand way, bought the generic, left them in the car, and have been using them on MP and myself every day for the past few weeks. Only after a few days of using them as Kleenex and blowing my NOSE into them, did I notice they left my membranes horribly dry. Drippy, but dry. And smelling like an institution.

Upon closer inspection …

Which I failed to notice. The only thing I saw was:

Kills the common flu virus!

Kills 99.9% of bacteria in 15 seconds!

Alcohol-free!

Bleach-free!

Crap. I guess this means disinfecting the dog’s poo-face is out of the question.

I’m goin’ to bed.

33 Comments

Filed under Confessional

33 responses to “But it kills 99.9% of bacteria in 15 seconds …

  1. OMG. I don’t think that those are too good for you. Drink lots of water and do something to cleanse your systems.

    Sounds like something I’d do.

  2. Finn

    Looks like you got those confused with Clorox Disinfecting Wipes commonly used on toilets and kitchen counters. Nice face! ; )

  3. Holy crap. You may have cured the common cold.

  4. I’d drink that wine that’s on the counter behind the toxic wipes. Surely that’ll flush out everything. Feel better;)

  5. I use them after leaving the doctor’s office. I think they’re fine in moderation. But, yeah, I can’t imagine blowing my nose into them. lol

  6. Girl…I think you should call the doctor or poison control…you may have poisoned yourselves. I agree with drink lots of water! Hope you two start to feel better real soon.

  7. another co-worker

    Why am I not surprised that you blew your nose into a disinfecting wipe? Take an emergen-c and call me in the morning.

  8. Mommypie you are totally off the hook on this one. That is because you are a choosy Mom, evidenced by your choice of “Jif.” Also, because you stash the red wine where MP can reach it when she goes to blow her schnozz with your biohazard wipes. And everyone knows that the alcohol in wine is the best disinfectant, ever. :-)))

  9. You know what you really shouldn’t do with those? Wipe your baby’s diaper area. Not that I’ve done that or anything. At least, not more than once or twice. The package does look just like Wet Ones. So it’s not my fault (or yours).

    You poor babies. I hope you both feel better soon.

  10. lots of rest! remember, feed a cold, starve a fever. if you have both… well, you’re screwed.

    re: the wipes… i never use them. i just expose myself and my children to as much bacteria as possible on a consistent basis.
    ;)

  11. On the upside, at least you know that you’re 99.9% bacteria free.

    Hope you and MP get well soon. I have a sick one at home too – it’s only a matter of time before the typhoid is pass from “Mary” to the rest of us.

  12. Oh dear. Let me know if your or anyone else’s face falls off. This can’t be good. It’s like the rat poison and Skinny & Sweet mix up in the movie 9 to 5!

  13. Ouch, bummer. I will vouch that a clean house can help prevent flu and colds. Sometimes when I’m run down, I’ll give my bathroom and shower a good scrubbing, and I feel great the next day.

    Well, I sleep a lot, too. And a half glass of red wine does wonders for the body.

  14. Yeah, they make different ones for people and counter tops. I hope no one was seriously injured. I used some cortaid as toothpaste the other day but I figured it out pretty quickly.

  15. Just to calm everyone’s nerves (because I know you’re all sweatin’ it hard – heh) everyone at the Pie House is still alive and kicking.

    Your concern warms my cockles, Doogs.

    And as soon as I get home, I’m finishing off that bottle of red.

  16. and throw on some of those party hats while you’re at it.

  17. MommyTime

    Oh, I’m so sorry. I hope you feel better soon.

    And buy Puffs. :)

  18. Yikes! I hear that gargling bleach works wonders … hehehehe

  19. Don’t try to hide that giant thing of cookies on the counter with those shinny apples. We both know which ones are going to be eaten first!

    And those wipes? Probably the same ingredients…made in the same factory I bet.

    See? All you guilt is gone now.
    You are welcome. :)

  20. Totally the cookies. The cookies will be eaten first. But they’re oatmeal, so that’s healthy. And I’ll keep believing that, so help me Costco.

  21. We need to get off of getting paranoid about germs…we’ve lived with them for centuries and our bodies develop anti-bodies to fight future infections…What we dont realize is that we’re basically erasing our natural defense system by using these wipes…and future gens are going to pay the price…your kids, kids…will have weakened immune systems…

    Now I’m not saying lick the toilet seat for god’s sake, but I think our culture has gotten obsessed with antiseptic…I mean…I’m 44, have gotten sick quite a few times in my life…but I’m more immune because of it…

    Just think on it deeply…

  22. distinque

    Oh, my god. I’m checking what I got yesterday?!

  23. Ok, who is THAT guy? Clearly he’s never tried to reason with Mommypie on her delusional feelings toward germs.
    Nice try, Barry, but I’ve gotten no where. I agree with your thoughts though. You’re absolutely right.

  24. sophia

    oops! sorry. looks like you could do with lots of air and good clean water. the effect of the irritation should ease off in short while. colds and flus can be precipitated by stuffy environments…so get yourself some air.
    ps
    do get fresh fruits. an apple a day keeps the doctor away.

  25. sophia

    oops! sorry about that. colds and flus do get precipitated by stuffy environments.. so get yourself some fresh air and lots of good clean water.
    dont forget to take fresh fruits… remember ” an apple a day keeps the doctor away”.
    the irritation will wear off pretty soon.

  26. In addition…I might ad you may want to read the instructions on many of those antiseptic spray cleaners, because often times the spray and wipe leaves many bacteria alive…you have to let it “set” and sometimes even “dry” on the surface to be sure you’re killing everything.

    If you don’t kill it, you’re helping bacteria learn to become resistant…kinda what I’m telling you we need to do… making the problem worse.

    This is from my wife who’s been a nurse for 24 years…now if anyone knows a little something about these things, it would be her.

    While you’re free to do as you like, and I’m not the arbiter of all things correct, I’m just saying to think on it deeply, and do a little research. I know you want to do the right thing…just be sure you really are….

    peace

  27. Marcy beat me to it. I was gonna say “nice photo staging with wholesome apples when we all know there are tacos and Pop Tarts just our of frame.”

    I was gonna say it, but now I can’t.

  28. take some vitamin C… it won’t help a bit, but they taste pretty good.

    PS I have also done this, I just wouldn’t admit it to my family.

  29. I must agree, the disinfecting wipes and antibacterial kitchen wipes need to be better differentiated. However in my stores, the ones you can and are encouraged to use on your person are in the baby/health aisle, and the counter cleaning ones are in the cleaner aisle. Now if they were on an end cap…thats a whole ‘nother ball game. :)

  30. You should send this to the blog post Slave to Target.

    Love the Menage A Trois wine in the background. You expecting a couple guys over later? wink wink

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