The cut that’ll sweep the doggie fashion world.

So, the dog.

I have to admit, she’s making it hard not to fall in love with her.

I’ll ALSO admit, however, I’m definitely struggling with some OCD madness. I can’t stop fixating on the food that gets stuck in the long fur around her mouth. Or the white fur that’s gradually becoming stained below her chin. When she poos, all I think about is that long fur. Don’t even try to convince me the poo don’t stick. There’s got to be some transference goin’ on. And that her fur is turning more and more yellow each time she pees? Seriously. I got issues.

I think I’ll take her to the groomer. And ask for the Orifice Cut. High and tight around the mouth, peehole and butthole. That way there’s no opportunity for fur to harbor any kind of … crap. Which is then tracked into the house. All over the carpet. And up on MP’s bed.

You have to understand. I don’t even allow shoes to be worn in the house. It’s just way too gross for me. And now all I can think of are the millions of minute turd particles that are tracked in every time the dog does her bidness.

You don’t have to tell me I’m a freak. I’m WELL aware of my ridiculousness. I’m just hoping eventually I’ll get over it. I’m really trying. Because Rosie IS sweet. And MP loves her with the passion of an only child.

And there are some killer dog toys out there.

Seriously. I’m trying.

25 Comments

Filed under Piece of My Mind

25 responses to “The cut that’ll sweep the doggie fashion world.

  1. She is just the sweetest little thing.

    #1

  2. Your dog is just as cute as I imagined.

  3. Does it help when I say I understand?

    I have to close my eyes when I pick something up off the bathroom floor, b/c I don’t want an unexpected look under the toilet rim.

    I totally get the poo particle fear.

    And if they don’t do the Orifice Cut at the groomer’s, ask for a brazilian wax.

    p.s. In spite of my big dog- lovin’ self, I found the dog cute and 10 kinds of adorable.

  4. SDM, I love you because you make me feel normal. :)

    And, like you, I’ve always thought of myself of a big dog person. Grew up with ‘em. Rosie may just change that …

  5. Rosie is too adorable! I don’t claim to get the OCD thing, but hey, I’m proud of you for at least being aware of it.

  6. You have read about my vacuuming habits right?

    Okay so we have a dog too. I leave a towell by the door that is washed/exchanged every day and I also wash her feet at least once a day in the wet months (here in the NW we have 9-10 wet months) she gets bathed one or two times a week and I would do it everyday if I had time. She gets brushed every day even though she is a non-shedder. We keep her clipped short, but long enough she is still cute.

    Good luck.

    Oh and that dog is freaking adorable.

  7. That’s a dog even I could love! Too cute! But definitely too hairy. I’ve often wondered about those long haired dogs and how they stay clean. So, will you be inventing the orifice cut, or is that really something that the groomers do?

  8. I don’t know if the Orifice Cut exists, but if it doesn’t, I’m inventing it. And I’m so not kidding.

  9. Oh. My. God. That little sweet baby is so freaking CUTE! How could you not fall in love with that smooshie smoosher poopy doopy wittle baby smooshie face?

  10. I could always give you my 140 lb St. Bernard *puppy* to dog sit for a couple of days… you will no doubt appreciate your dog after that.

    P.S. Someone call the goddamn Dog Whisperer for me. Pronto.

  11. Dude. The sheer size of your dog’s TURDS are probably bigger than my dog. At least I’m only dealing with cocktail weenies.

  12. Mommypie, puppies are overwhelming for 1,000 reasons. It’ll get better, I promise. Just remember that you are the alpha beyotch and you get to raise her the way you want, not the other way around. I’m OCD; no shoes in here neither. But I manage to live with a 65# Standard Poodle that is as clean as they come. How? I keep his feet shaved closely so he doesn’t track in dirt, his face shaved closely so’s I can kiss it without grossing out, and all the rest of the orifices are kept waaaaaaaaaay closely shaved. In grooming lingo, your “orifice clip” is called “a sanitary.” So either head on down to the groomer and ask for this pronto, or better still, buy yourself one of these babies and keep the fuzzies (and drips, and dingleberries) at bay http://tinyurl.com/6o3btl

    Oh yeah and kiss her on (the unfuzzy side) of that cute little muzzle!

  13. Her name is Rosie? That’s my shih-tzu’s name !!

    #1

  14. I read/heard somewhere that the food your feed your dog can help with the yellow/brown around their mouth and eyes. That drives me mad, too.

    I get my dog shaved when I can afford it, but he’s giant, so that’s not so often. Instead, I’m down at the self-serve doggie wash every week.

    P.S. She’s very cute.

  15. THAT DOG!

    I have wanted a dog like that for forever, but my son is highly allergic to all dogs. Even those with hair and not fur. :(

  16. From one OCD girl to another, I’m right there with you. You’ll forget where that tongue’s been when that cute little muffin gives you kisses though. Hee hee hee. May I recommend Purell for doggie tongues?

  17. She’s adorable! So pretty.

    You know how fluffy Casey is, and how curly his hair is…and long? Well I used to think the poop STUCK but ya know. It doesn’t. It’s like some strange cosmic thing.

    Well, actually it’s probably more like him licking his ass. But if it’s all the same, I like to think it’s a cosmic thing in that the Doggy God gifted mutts with hairy butts a special coating that makes the poop not stick.

  18. Blimey! I shouldn’t have had that second glass of wine before leaving that comment.

  19. wow, i really can’t leave you and Poppy alone for a couple days, can i? Did I mention I’m excited for you. Can’t wait until you bring the dog into the office! :)

  20. Our groomer really does “take down” the butt hair even without being asked.

  21. This is why I have a cat. Self cleaning.

  22. Soon you’ll be posting pictures of doggy’s little pink pucker.

    A bath in bluing in the sink should whiten her fur. I used to wash my chickens in bluing. And No, I’m not kidding.

  23. Okay, sorry, I’m totally ignorant. What’s bluing? Because, seriously, I WANNA KNOW!

  24. writebrite

    I had one of these sweethearts a while back and I totally get your OCDness about poop, and food, and fur staining, OH MY! She was white too, so all the more evidence of staining. Pet-co does a great “puppy cut” that takes care of all the applicable areas, and it’s cheap too.

    Side note: mine NEVER stopped EATING her own poop…EWWW!!!

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