Egg is to Dooce as sperm is to … the rest of us.

As a follow up to Wednesday’s confidence shattering stats post, I pose this question.

Dooce. The One. Yeah, I know you read her. But have any of you actually ever posted a comment? And if so, why? No judgment, just curious what drives her commenters. ‘Cause I dunna get it.

I dig her. I do. But do you suppose she actually scrolls through and reads ALL 1,036 plus a GAZILLION comments generated every time she hits the publish button? How would it be humanly possible? (Damn. I KNEW it. Human? You be the judge.) Are there even enough hours in the day to form a gazillion reactionary thoughts in response to a gazillion comments?

Uh huh. Blah buh blah blah. Yeah. Totally. Bitch. Yeah not. Uh huh. Mkay. Whatever. Yeah, yeah … you love me. Stalker. WTF? Hi there. OMG. Yeah, I’m awesome. Totally awesome.

(Dooce, if you’re out there, dish sister. Inquiring minds want to know.)

I read her every day, but have never left a single comment. I enjoy her posts with my morning Pepsi, but leave it at that. Who wants to be one of the masses echoing the same sentiments as hundreds of commenters before? What satisfaction is there in that? Seriously. There’s only so much wit to go around.

Hmmm … thinking of …

Soooo, yeah. I think in pictures. Which, unless you’re new, you knew. New knew. Sununu.

Just to be clear, I’m NOT suggesting in any way, shape or form that you stop commenting. (Because I am so influential and all powerful.) Spunk makes the world go round. And her awesomeness goes without saying. Just like all the other larger than life blog stars out there.

I’m just interested in … your comments.

45 Comments

Filed under Piece of My Mind

45 responses to “Egg is to Dooce as sperm is to … the rest of us.

  1. Comment Dooce? Does she ever let you comment? Any time I read her they are always turned off, which turns me off so I deleted her from my morning blogger read.

    Sista #1

  2. i comment because i want to connect with the author. and when there’s no chance of that, it really just turns me off. dooce is good to be sure, but her pond is way too big for me.

  3. KD

    I read, but I don’t feel as committed to read as other blogs (like yours that I found through a friend’s blog). I never comment. Most of the time I like to read the comments before I comment too and the bagillions she gets take way too much time to go through.

    So while I enjoy her blog I don’t comment because I don’t really feel any connection!

    PS I really need photoshop. Have I told you that yet?

  4. I have left a comment before, and then looked at it, in the mass of comments, and thought “Well. That was a waste of 45 seconds…”

    – It’s strange that you say you can’t comment on my blog… That just sucks. I thought I COULD receive WordPress comments…

    phbbbttt… on Blogger.

  5. Hi Tracey — I think you just need to change your settings to accept anonymous — then I’ll comment away! :)

  6. You are so much cleverer than I. I’ve been thinking exactly this for ever so long, only when I think, excellent graphics of eggs and sperm with pretty lady heads in the middle NEVER appear — just words, words, and more words, that I can’t figure out how to organize. So: yeah, what you said. :)

    I never comment on Dooce or Pioneer Woman because, honestly, what’s the point? I don’t think she’ll read it, she certainly won’t visit my blog and comment back, and none of the other 1.8 million commenters will read it either. Which means I therefore won’t get into a single conversation as a result of the comment. And unlike some people online, I don’t get all excited by speaking to what is essentially an empty room. I comment on sites where I want to join a conversation or establish a connection. Sometimes that means I comment on places that don’t comment back — but I DO find myself getting responses from other commenters, or offering responses to them. And that’s good enough.

    But to be the umpteenth person writing “oh, how beautiful!” or whatever? No thanks.

    (PS I’ll still be commenting here when you’re a big giant egg-head in the middle of a river of comment giz…or whatever. Icky metaphor. But that’s because I already lurv you.)

  7. I comment when she has the door open. It may not be her, but I do get traffic at my blog afterwards coming from there…whatevs.

    How about PW’s commentors, especially when she has a contest?! 12,459 and she claims she reads them ALL.

    Love your take today! Have a fab weekend!

  8. “A river of comment giz.” PPPffffhh BAHAHA! MommyTime, YOU are clever.

    The Mom — HOW many commenters?!? Ca-rhazy. (Not that I’d kick ‘em outta the river of comment giz … )

  9. Sperm to an egg – That’s perfect! I don’t comment on the big blogs. Even ones that have 20+ I figure why bother. So I’m no help at all to ya.

  10. ohigotnothing

    Blogger confessional time. I do comment here and there if something strikes me. But what else am I gonna do while I’m at the office? Work? I think we’ve established that is in not a priority.

    Remember back when she had a raccoon in her fireplace (at the time of her post she didn’t know it was a raccoon)? Well I’m the stalker that told her to heed her dog’s warnings because when my dog did that it turned out we had a bat compound in our fireplace and they ended up flying around in our living room. I have chills thinking about it. I did take the time to comment on that one and a couple days later she mentioned the reader that warned of bats in her post. I was a blog virgin back then, so even the un-named shout out was stalker-licious.

    Please tell me you still love me mommy-pie!

  11. ohigotnothing

    Who is PW?

  12. Okay, I gotta admit, an un-named shout out would’ve gotten me higher than a glue-sniffin’ midget.

    And I still totally love you Ohio. But, doog, when you comment, you need to LINK to your great site so people can VISIT!

    PW — Pioneer Woman — she’s insanely popular too.

  13. ohigotnothing

    I thought I would be since I’m a wordpresser too. Mutherfucbleeeeppppp

    I can be found for your blogging pleasure at:

    http://www.amyinohio.wordpress.com

  14. This is crazy wordpress – I didn’t know I was appearing as my old blog name – how embarrassing. See how badly I need to go to BlogHer, I need proper training.

    Is this better?

  15. I’d never heard of her blog until this post. Holy cow I am so unhip.

  16. Are you kidding? You? Unhip? You just had a tummy-tuck woman. For God’s sake, you’re on the cutting edge!

  17. I’ve never even heard of her. I must be really out of the loop!

    That is one spectacular picture. :)

  18. I confess I’ve left a comment or two….but they tend to be more general rather than addressing her. It probably because I felt the need to say something in response to what has been written. For example, she had one up about a Canadian who sent her an e-mail because she felt insulted…no way could I let that one by….I read her and never ever have I felt insulted….I *needed* it to be said that that particular person did not speak for all of us….

  19. I am a natural-born smart aleck who has trouble keeping her mouth shut most of the time, so commenting is what I do. Whether or not I comment depends upon the quality of the other readers comments, usually. If they’re all, “Oh! We LOVE you! Come live with us! We’ll be best friends and do each other’s hair!” and nothing much more than that, I lose interest right away, feel disconnected, and usually stop reading that blog. I can think of two right off-hand that I have done that with, and one is PW. Don’t care if I’m the first commenter, either.

    BUT if I love the blogger, and the other commenters are bright and engaging, funny and/or interesting, I LOVE to comment. It’s like peeing on your territory, ha ha.

    You are SO FUNNY, and that egg/sperm graphic is BRILLIANT! And your readers are all of the above and more.

    Read Dooce once — meh, never went back. I felt like I was a nonbeliever worshipping at an altar while wearing the wrong head covering.

    HA! Sununu. : )

  20. Love it! That just might get her…

  21. I love Dooce’s sense of humor. Dry wit with a twist of darkness. Totally my style. But I only visit her site when my reader has her at 15 or more.

  22. I’ve been to Dooce’s blog twice. She’s a good writer, but no better than the blogs I do read that let their readers leave comments. If I’m going to spend time blogging, I want to actually be able to connect.

    I had never heard of Pioneer Woman before your post. If she doesn’t allow comments then…no need to visit.

  23. i think dooce was the first blog i ever read actually. lame right, bec all the other times, i was just surfing for porn at work. i’ve left comments before she got WAY famous and “talking to hollywood people.” nowadays, i see your point in ‘whats the point.’ although i have to say it IS a very very nice thing of all the regular blogs i read (you know who you are), you comment back on your site and GASP! even come over to mine! because in the end, that’s where we are hoping we are sending all these words– to another human being who actually gives a flying f*ck (even if its just for 45 secs).

  24. Can I be a part of the blogging world and admit the following without being chased out of bloggyville??

    *whispers* I don’t read Dooce. *now ducks and runs*

  25. From Mamasphere: “But I only visit her site when my reader has her at 15 or more.”

    What does this mean? What is a reader and what is this scoring business?

  26. You can go to Google (or other services) and subscribe to all the blogs you like and have them updated all in one feed, all in one place, so you don’t have to spend a lot of time going to each site.

    I’ve done it both ways and there’s just something about actually visiting that I like better.

    BUT, I have no idea what the scoring business is. Can anyone enlighten the Reader Dim?

  27. OK – I’m gonna follow Shake Shake and confess that I have NEVER read Dooce. I know I probably should – give my props to the pioneer and all – but the fact that everybody does it makes me NOT want to. Cuz I’m all rebellious and shizat.

    I’m with you – I prefer more intimate bloggy buddies where I can truly interact through commenting. I like quality over quantity.

    But what do I know? I’m relatively new to this whole blogging thing, especially comapred to Dooce.

    I DO know that sperm+pretty lady heads+eggs graphics = damntastically funny. I know that to be true.

  28. Mommy Pie, I’ve SO missed you and your mad photoshop skills while I’ve been on a blogging hiatus this week!

    And to come back today…to find you blogging about Dooce’s sperm…well, it just warms my heart, frankly.

    I’m home.

    Ok, I’m off to go vote for you!

  29. I was going to her site every day, but like some of the others started feeling like I shouldn’t bother. I know she’s a legend and all but I don’t feel any connection to her since I know she’ll never read what I have to say.

    I’ve never read Pioneer Woman, and probably never will. I will give them props and say kuddos for the success. I certainly don’t begrudge them that. I’d rather give my time and commenting to someone I know will appreciate it.

  30. So the two things our posts have in common are, sperm and a woman from Utah. Yep, me too….I love that you had sperm too. LOVE IT.

  31. Deb

    OK, I really though long and hard about commenting today. Because you have 31 comments and how can I be sure you’re gonna read my little ole one? Cuz…31 comments? The bigtime baby! (For me, at least)

    But, I must add my .02 because I love you, your blog, and the fact that you personally connect to your readers and continue the conversation in your comment section.

    I comment because I like that personal connection and you can’t get that with the mega bloggers.

    I’m just a sperm,
    Deb

  32. Sperm Sister — I’m the same way. And 30+ comments, I KNOW! Feelin’ a bit spoiled, and LOVIN’ it! Not only does Dooce herself get all the comments, apparently you just have to write a post ABOUT Dooce to get a lot yourself … I do believe I’ve cracked the code …

    If you EVER stop commenting I’m going to have to crawl through the laptop and kick your arse, my friend. Because you know I ALWAYS read every comment. Helluu OCD.

  33. I don’t like readers either, MP. I just put all my doogs (Did I use that right?) in my favorites, then scroll down and visit. I can’t even be bothered with updating and going through our blogroll. I’m that lazy.

    I don’t comment on Dooce (I actually don’t comment many places, actually). I also pretend not to like Dooce. When someone says they read Dooce, I’m all like “Ewww yuck” and make weird faces “She’s all dark and woe is me, but kid and dogs are super cute aren’t they?”

    But then I read her posts, and I’m like “Uh, she’s pretty cool.”

    Then I go to comment, and there are 85, 000 comments, or they are closed, so then I don’t ever go back to Dooce again ever. For like a few weeks.

  34. i don’t comment on the “big” blogs. what’s the point? i comment on the mom and pops. the ones who don’t GAF… or, if theydo GAF, it’s a small f*ck. i will *always* lurk on the big’uns. because that’s the way i roll.

  35. I have never commented on Dooce, ever.

    What I’m curious about is who does she read and enjoy and does she comment, or has her need for networking stopped since she is so big now.

    Hmmm, maybe I should comment and ask her.

  36. Awesome photo! You’re a genius.

    I have commented on PW many times, and some of them not even to win something. I don’t know why. But I feel like I have to send a shout out every once in a while to anyone I like to read. I would do that for movie stars too, I suppose, if I weren’t so lazy. You know, like a thank you for your efforts kind of thing.

    But I’m with everyone else. I like the community aspect more. Even Bossy, who gets a lot of comments each day, has more of a sense of community among commenters. I like reading them. PW has a bunch of…well, sperms. You’re so right. Srsly. Brilliant!

  37. Featured on Good Mom/Bad Mom on the Houston Chronicle.

    http://tinyurl.com/6mb75y

  38. I get this.

    And no way she reads all her email either.

    Celebs? Love to hate ‘em.

  39. I enjoy Dooce; I like her sense of humor and I like the way she writes. I will comment when she has them open and the content spurs me to add something to the conversation. Even if she *doesn’t* read all the comments, someone else will.
    I think that since she opens comments so rarely, she probably does read all the comments she receives. It’s not as though she has a huge volume every single day to digest, right? Just six or seven hundred a pop every six to ten days.
    And one last tidbit – I sent her an e-mail a while back and then nearly peed myself when I saw her name in my inbox. She replied back to me and was very nice and funny. For about three seconds I was Cray Zee FanGrrrl and wished I could bronze my inbox. Heh.
    Then I wondered what it must be like to have so much notoriety that you couldn’t post a comment under your own real name, or at all, out in the blog world. To be so famous that just to send a five-word e-mail reply would make somebody (me) freak out.
    I think she has and continues to earn her celebrity.

  40. Love your doctored photo. I gotta learn to do this myself. Saw you on gm/bm.

  41. i never have been a dooce fan. she seems entirely too…eh i don’t know…i just don’t like her.

    and seriously, anyone who makes $40,000 a MONTH from their blog should absolutely positively read every friggin comment she gets *you know, when she ALLOWS the commonfolk to comment*

  42. Wow @Melanie…The Dooce actually took the time to reply? That’s admirable. And unexpected.

    I read Dooce when the mood strikes (check the site a couple times a week usually) and do enjoy her. She can be pretty hilarious. I, for one, would be so overwhelmed by comments that I’d probably only get through the first 100 or so…kudos to her if she does read them all (which I highly doubt). I find it interesting though, that there are equally if not better mommybloggers out there who have only a millionth of the readership Dooce does. I guess that’s just the way the cookie crumbles, eh?

  43. Truthfully? I am all about Chuck. I want Chuck to respond to me. My dog doesn’t do anything exciting over here. Except yodel.

    But I do wonder what having so much success blogging is like in terms of changing the way you think about blogging, content, etc.

    And I covet her shoes.

  44. Hey girl -discovered your rockin’ blog thru this whole BlogHerNot affair. Re: Dooce. I’m just gonna throw it out there: WTF??????????? I’ve checked in with her site maybe 3 times and she’s a good writer. I DON’T FIND HER THAT FASCINATING. And she either has “6,789 comments” per post or “comments are closed”. She has 13,000 followers on twitter. Am I jealous? Abso-freakin’-lutely. But it’s like the emperor’s new clothes! What am I missing????

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