Mama Merit Badges

I’m sorry, this is just too good to be buried in the sidebar. You may have already seen these, but I just came across them a month or so ago, and they crack me up.

Here’s some copy from the Mama Merit Badges site (which I gotta say, I love almost as much as the badges themselves), describing just a few of the different badges available:

Sex
This lusty badge is for the drastic changes in your sexuality since birthing. It covers: first post-partum sex, sex in unusual places and at unusual times, kids walking in on sex, nursing during sex or squirting milk across the room, smiling while kids tell strangers about “mama sugar time” and really just for doing it all. If you have used the upbeat Baby Einstein finale song as your cue to wrap it up, you can iron this badge on your nursing bra or thong to show what a sexy mama you are!

Breastfeeding
This badge is to commemorate the nursing relationship, whether for a week or for years. Have you tandem nursed while pregnant or nursed twins? Breastfeeding is hard work and not as natural as it seems. If you produce milk for another human, you get this badge (and so much more).

Diaper
Everyone has an episode of diapering significance! Have you experienced poop paintings on the wall, poop dripping from the Bjorn in the grocery store, poop in the tub, poop up the back and into your baby’s hair? Have you ever performed gymnastics trying to keep other siblings from getting into poop? Has your baby ever peed into your mouth? Explosive poops, indecent exposure, or cloth diapering; this badge tells your story.

Eating Out
If you have picked up pasta from a filthy floor, created a game with empty creamers, straws and sugar packets, drawn a pretty picture with the two blue crayons that the “too young to have kids” waitress gave you, or got your kids to eat something other than ketchup, you may wear this badge for rising to the occasion.

I LOVE the great business ideas moms are coming up with. Gotta get me some of these – Lord knows I’ve earned ‘em!

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